296: A Life Altered: From Success to Survival w/ Alan Jacobs

Hey everyone, welcome back to Private Club Radio. I'm your host, denny Corby. Thank you all for being here. We are in November, early November 2023, and I'm thankful to be here. I'm thankful for all of you listeners and, seeing as the month is, hopefully all the time, we're all about thankfulness and being supportive of one another. This episode gave me the feels. Gave the feels Because we are chatting with world-renowned, amazing club consummate, professional, alan Jacobs, from New Jersey to Miami, to Louisiana, lafayette, over to China, with an incredible, heartwarming, sincere story to share. I'm happy, I'm honored to have Alan on, always a joy to chat with, happy to have him here on the show. Please enjoy. Please welcome Alan Jacobs.

Well, I've been in hospitality my whole life. But going from the starting point where you said, I was the cruise director for five years with Celebrity Cruises and then I went into Private Clubs with Club Corporation, traveled internationally with them to CityStreet International, which is a partnership they had in Taiwan and Hong Kong. Then I managed all different types of country clubs, yacht clubs and city clubs, all Platinum Club of America top 15 clubs. I was in China for the last couple of years and was stuck there with COVID and travel restrictions. Well, it couldn't lead to country. My family was here, so as soon as the restrictions relieved at the Chinese government I was able to leave the country. I did come and see my family back in New Jersey. My daughter had been in Australia, so that's one of the primary driving focuses of me going to China so I could be close to her. But then COVID hit and she had to come back to the US anyway and my wife was supposed to come back and travel back and forth. But man plans and God amends and I ended up being stuck in China. I was healthy in China. I was living in an island in the South China Sea, in Hainan the Hawaii of China, if you will. That's probably one of the most exclusive clubs in the world and I was looking forward to coming back, but oddly enough I didn't catch COVID in China. When I came back home I caught COVID here. Then I'll stop it, no. Then I went to congestive heart failure and then, unfortunately, I had a severe stroke. So I've been recovering from my stroke since I've been back basically a couple of years now almost and I was really devastated by my stroke because it went from going from 100 to zero. I was in hospitals and rehabs for several months. I couldn't walk. My whole right side was paralyzed. I couldn't go to the bathroom myself. They couldn't lift me up without a whore but basic crane to try to lift and move me. I couldn't eat for a month and a half. I lost my ability to swallow. So I've been fighting ever since and it's been difficult, not just for my physical health but for my mental health as well. So it's been challenging but, as you know me, I'm off to the challenge I like to overcome and conquer. So there's no sitting down and crying, it's just fighting for me.

That's an amazing mindset to have and I can 100% see that from you because you and I met through Leastall down the Pelican chapter and I was down there and I was I think I performed at one of the Pelican chapter dinners.

Correct, I was president of the Pelican chapter I remember you were just so.

You were just so I don't want to say unamused, but it was just so funny. And then it makes sense, Because then I learned about the cruise ship industry. So I'm like, oh, dude, you've seen it all, but that was a really fun. There was like 15 of us or whatever, but you were telling, we were talking afterwards and your stories is fantastic of just you know where you were and then how you got to in the club world and how just whether it was the cruise ships or whatever, no matter what you made it to the top of the game and you know being able to do what you did, you know you have to be somewhat relentless. So this is so. I would almost expect this from you. No, no, what? Take it back. You know 2019. You know what was going on.

I just feel, recruited to the position in China which was at a top 39 of the top 100 clubs of the world and actually at that time was a number 18 platinum club of the world, and While I was there we were able to move up the ranks to a top 11 up Latin Macubb the world. There was a really unique and surreal experience, fortunately for me. I Love culture, I love people, I can that's my business the people business and relationship business and I Enjoy, enjoyed my time there. But it was a paradigm shift as far as you know how to deal with the Chinese, both culturally and professionally from a business standpoint of you, because it was very contradictory to how we operate here in the United States. But I had experience Taiwan and Hong Kong when I was younger, so I actually had an advantage of understanding how to work in that environment and and it was most, most difficult, but you know, I was lucky to go there and experience it. Unfortunately, the world turned upside down and I had to make the most of a bad situation but unfortunately for me it got worse with COVID and dealing with a staff that lived on your club premises to I had over 255 staff I had to take care of during COVID, as well as the membership and was so. There was a lot of learning experiences during that and really appreciating, you know, what you can do versus what you can't do, and luckily for me, that really translated when I turned, you know, upside down with my health issues, unfortunately, when I got back. So you know I'm, you start dealing with the norm. I've always felt in the world of the, the surreal and exceptions and this was just another example of it, but you know who's it was I opening because my priorities changed dramatically. You know I thought so are just to move the finger to swallow water, ice chips, you know, to move my toe, to move my foot. I wanted to be there for my daughter, you know, who was just going through college and you know she was getting her MBA, so I was looking forward to her starting her career path and eventually getting married, and my only goal that really drove me was my family and, you know, trying to provide for them in some way still and also walk my daughter down the aisle. So it was a total different mentality mindset that I really had to cling to and embrace in order to get through this and, unfortunate, fortunate, because I can handle it. Number one and number two there's a lot of people that a lot worse off than me. I was lucky I was able to come back a little bit. I regained some of my right side. I can't walk really that well. I kind of water like an infant. I Luckily I can still eat. I'm a scratch eater, denny, so I can eat still but I lost a lot of weight and I would recommend my diet. I did it the hard way but you know I realized what was important in life and what to be thankful for and have Gratitude for doing all the amazing things I've been able to accomplish in my life. Up until that point I was fortunate where I was able to do it while I was young. You know, travel world several times and experience things people want to experience for the whole lives. I did it by the time I was 30. So I had that. You know we're missing self awareness and mindfulness, that you know I'm not gonna miss out on anything. You know from that standpoint I have done it. You know when my drive is, maybe I can do it again and enjoy and share more with my family and friends. But I've taken care of people my whole life. I'm a provider. That's my love language and being not able to provide and now being on permanent disability, I went from making a lot of money to making Building anything from Social Security. So it was a big shot to my system and I had to learn More fully what Alan Version 2.0 was. I loved the Alan version 1.0, but I didn't like Alan 2.0 and it was very challenging because, you know, in this country, you know I had. So every Allegist there was. When I got sick and had a stroke I endocrinologist, nephrologist, neurologist, cardiologist but the last person I saw and it took over nine months was a Psychiatrist and a psychologist. No, ever told me. You know what to expect, what kind of stroke I had, you know what my prognosis would be? Everyone left everything vague. It was like it was all different, based on different people and though I was left high and try, and your loved ones and family don't know as well. So it was really hard to find the necessary help to deal with that, because you need a strong mind in order to have a strong body and you know and to have your physical health. He definitely made your mental health. But I have a lot of gratitude. You know I have friends in the CMA who you know really reached out to me and came visit me and Well wish me and prayed for my recovery. We've from, you know, army at the coupling keyboard and Tom Wallace and many at GSI and Jeff Morgan Love, the chairman of the association. I felt touched, you know, because I always try to make a difference and make people happy in life. There's a lot in this world that you know people can be very unhappy about, especially nowadays. But if you don't have your physical health and you don't take care of your yourself, you can't take care of anybody else. You know, and for me that's the worst thing in the world, you know, not being able to take care of people, the what, the way I was. Because I was, I got my joy. My drive was my life blood in my passion to make people happy and enjoy life. So get, have the haven of refuge away from the world of what's going on now. So you know it's hard. It's hard. I don't travel a lot. I've Actually tried to drive a car again. It's a little scary because I wasn't a good driver to begin with when I didn't have a stroke. And I Don't get I don't get Seesick because of my ears on the cruise ship but I do get car sick. So but you know I try to take everything with the grain of salt. It's hard to, you know, feel gratitude and appreciate anything when you're in my circumstance. So that's my fight to stay positive all the time. And I've been fortunate where I've, you know, spoke with PGA, a magazine you know, the Platinum Club managers, club mastermind, and PGA invited me to a conference, I think next month on Lanter, speak to some people or attend and just share my story. Rick from mindfulness university of asked me to go to a couple of clubs. You know it's difficult for me to travel but it gives me goals and drives. So if I can help one person, that's my goal. You know I'm a cautionary tale, denny. You know me. I was pretty vibrant and you know I enjoyed like to. It's foolish to put the rug was taken out from under me. You know, and you know I really, you know, care about my colleagues and my peers and I want them to know how important is to cherish life, cherish your family, appreciate that you can wake up in the morning and do what you do not only for others but do something for yourself because life is short. Oh, don't learn the hard way. Like me, I'm the cautionary tale, you know. Take some time for yourself and your family and, yeah, I think you'll be a much work, content and happy person, because that's the only thing that carries you through these difficulties, like I experienced.

If you can go back, let's say what would you tell you know, what would you tell 40-year-old Alan?

That's a good question. I'm a little older than 40, so thank you. But telling the 50-plus, alan, you know I was unfortunately, you know, had some medical problems when I was younger and I went through a lot and when I first found out I had a brain cyst and had passed out while I was driving. It was going to be a long hole for me because it was inoperable. I said I'm going to cry one day. When I was 18, 22, I had about eight brain surgeries, but you know I don't feel that much pain, to be honest with you, more pain in the heart than pain in the body. But I said to myself then I was going to allow myself one day to cry, let it all out, just let it all out. And the next day I'm going to fight, I'm going to overcome and conquer. And I made a promise to myself. There was two caveats I was going to live by is make it a better day and never say what is. And I was fortunate enough to do that. You know everyone counted me down. They thought I'd be dead by was 30, but by the time I was 30, I was very highly successful. You know I had been a cruise director. I've caviled the world. Many times. I knew what I wanted to do and I did it. And I would say to myself follow your dreams, never listen to anybody. But I would say, take better care of yourself, your health, because I was contributing negligent as far as my health. I thought I was invincible no one's invincible. You can find that out real quick. So I would cherish more, not that I didn't have a good time, but I would cherish more and I would have taken better care of myself so I can set myself up for a better future. You know my future. I don't know what it is, you know. But I'm going to try to do what I can do with the time I have left to be there for my family. You know, help, guide them and be there for as long as I can. I don't know what to say to a prince that I'm going to kick you to the ass. Call me Sorry.

You're good man, Let it out.

You know I can take it, have 12 years. You know God made me a fighter. You know I'm going to prove them wrong. You know I have faith, but I have to have a fight with God over this. I always I said why me? What did I do? You know, now I see people on TV, you know, going around doing all these different things and you know I can't do them anymore. I'm jealous and I'm angry and I just got to say you know, god did it for a reason. I don't know what the reason is, but if I could help one person, god too and I did To get this point and take care of themselves. That's what I'm going to do and I want to be examples to my daughter. No matter what you got to get up. No one thought I'd get up. People don't think I would be able to talk and you know I had a big mouth. I handle, you know, from structure voice. You know it's all new to me now. It's like I'm a baby learning how to walk and talk and swallow. But I want to be an example to her to say don't let anything get you down. You got to keep fighting because life will throw things at you. And he got some things back sometimes, and you know that's where I am. I've accomplished a lot. You know, I can walk without a walker, without a cane. It's rather infantile, but I can walk. You know, they told me I'd have to get something for my stairs, like to lift me up to a stair lift, to lift me up to excuse my French hell, no, and so I got out of the hospitals in late summer, and they said it'll probably be a year or so to where you can get up to the chair lift and you can go up the stairs. But I said, the goal, though, is going to walk up the stairs again by November. I surprised my wife, you know. I climbed up the stairs and I was waving like Bert Reynolds on the bed doing his pose. It scared the crap out of her. But you know, I climbed the stairs myself. It wasn't easy, but I did it, and you know I just want to prove people wrong, because someone tells me no, you can't. I'm going to tell them you don't know me. There's no know in my vocabulary. It's what I can do and how I can do it. You know I'll teach. You know, I learned a saying from my mother, who's 82 and I raced her on her walker and she takes care of me a lot on days my wife works. She said to me don't freak out, let's figure it out. So that's good advice for a lot of things in life, because there's always a way. You just got to figure out the way. Have the fortitude to keep on thinking. So there's a lot of different ways to do things. Some may be more hard, some may be easier, but there's different ways and you can still do it. So I'm not freaking out, I'm trying to figure it out. I'm going to make it a better day and I'm not going to say what is and I'm going to come back again. People are going to see me in person. I might not be working or might be consulting or might be doing something, but unfortunately for other people, my mind is okay. I got my cognitive abilities to some degree. It's my body that's not working at 100%, but you learn something that people treat you different. People speak louder to me now. People speak slower to me. They don't think I can do anything and it's like it gets me upset because I'm not stupid. I can hear you well, so it's like that has a tone. Set of challenges too. Again, you have to work through. But if that's my worst lot in life, then that's fine.

Yeah, that has to be difficult mentally. That is wow, I did not even.

Well, you know what the hard part is. People speak slower and think that you're a dumber, wow, yeah, I mean especially for me, because I'm lucky. I have a saying in life, when you become aware of something, you have a responsibility. I never read things in book and took them as gospel. I went out to different countries, different places and experienced them. I was there when Germany reunited, being in China dealing with the Communist Party, some things of that nature, and I don't take anything with a grain of salt. I want to know for my own self. I do the diligence, educate myself. But when I was in the hospitals and the rehabs, if you have any loved ones, make sure they have an advocate, be there for them, or don't have them there, because the therapy you might get might be great. I haven't had any question about the therapy. But for 21 hours after that, or 22 hours, you're in the care of people and those rehabs are really a machine. You're not a human being, you're a commodity and people are not aware of what's happening to them and they're very mistreated. I can tell you horror stories of what happened to me, the abuses and different things, but I was well aware of it, so I fought back, I wasn't going to have it, and I just say take care of your loved ones too, if they're in a situation like myself, because you can't rely on anybody except yourselves as a family to monitor and take care of someone that you love, because once you're gone and out of that room, you don't know what happens, and maybe that person who's lying there doesn't know what happens. So I implore people, make sure someone's there or has an advocate, because that's very important, because that could really do a lot of damage mentally and that can have a big effect on what happens to you physically. So, though I don't want to be a doomsayer in that regard, but it's important that, especially nowadays, we take care of our members. Our members join our clubs to be with similar people with a mindset and culture and appreciation of things. We have to be able to understand that a family is like having members of a club. You have a special bond and you have to make sure that you're protecting that bond and being able to enhance and enjoy the fruits of that bond that you have. So take care of yourself, take care of your loved ones, tell someone you love them, even though you may not at the moment. I learned one thing my wife is an RT, a respiratory therapist. She's been on the front lines of COVID. You know the whole COVID experience. She has a lot of stress, she sees a lot of death. How she's been able to support me and take care of me and give me the tough love that's necessary is amazing. You know, I won the lottery when I married my wife over 27 years. My daughter, who's 24, stopped her life when she was in college in an after college and really became a caretaker for me. She just got a full-time job, now 24, you know, almost a year and a half, two years later, because she wanted to be there for me. So there was a guilt that I have because of that and I want her to start her own life. And you know that is what life is all about love that you share with people like that when it's tough. You know, you really know who's there for you and I've been lucky. I have a lot of family, friends and colleagues like yourself that have been there for me and you know I want to be there for you and them and by just waking you up a little bit, really scaring you a little bit. But you know I don't want what happened to me to ever happen to anybody. I want to wish you some good and upon my worst enemy. So you know, I hope people get something out of this. You know and hear this and it can resonate just a little bit, because that would bring me a lot of joy and happiness.

You definitely touched me and probably a lot of listeners, so who man that was that was? Yeah, wow. Oh I know it, there's, there's. It's one of those like there's also so many places to go and just how amazing your family is, and just you know the story and the bond that's you know. Yeah, there's this. Thank you so much for sharing is really what I'm trying to get at.

Well, I wish I wasn't in a position where I shared something like this. I wish I didn't know about it. But you know, I also wish someone opened my eyes when you said what would you say to Alan was 40 years old? You know, no matter what, we're not invincible. We're not supermen Although, as club managers, a lot of us are. We're a jack of all trade, master of all trades at times when we wear many different hats. But sometimes we got to take off all those work hats and thinking caps and putting on baseball caps. And, you know, enjoy life because you know something can happen. I don't want it to happen. I want you to have the chance to do that. So thank you for giving me the opportunity. Unfortunately, I'm sorry, I worked me up emotionally a little bit, but this is an emotional subject to me because I care. I really care sincerely and in order to make to remain significant and relevant, you have to remain significant and relevant. So take care of yourselves. You know there's a lot to smile about too in life. Take the time to laugh and smile and enjoy and share that gift with everyone else and take care of yourself doing it. And you know I have a message for everybody. I love you. I love you and just you know what we do is a thankless job sometimes, but I'm thanking you on behalf of everybody, all the people who are listening to us, all the club managers, because you're a unique and special person.

I appreciate you, sir. Well, that was something. Wow, that was an episode. That was an episode. Once again, alan, thanks for sharing, and I hope everybody got a little something from that. Until next time, bye.