325: Mentorship, Resilience, and Purpose - Digging in w/ Passion Graham, CCM

Speaker 1: 0:00

to whom much is given, much is required, and this industry has given so much to me from being able to walk into places that, growing up, I didn't even know existed, much less feel like I would have access to. Far be it for me to not reach back and open the doors and give back to this industry that has given so much. Hey everyone.

Speaker 2: 0:28

Welcome back to Fibre Club Radio, the industry source for news updates, trends, marketing, leadership communications. If it's private club related, we got you covered. I'm your host, denny Corby. Great to have you here. This episode is a hoot. This episode I'm just gonna say the name and some of you are already gonna be excited it is Passion Graham, brand new CCM director of Clubhouse Operations at the Governors Club. This is this episode starts strong. It starts real strong. It is. I could even hit record quick enough, so we just go straight into it. Wow, what a true gem and a person of person I don't even know. So much energy, joy, and I think I'm keeping trying to say the word passion, but it's in her name. But the passion that is passion. I think that's what it is, I think it has to be it. The passion that is passion. What a joy. What a conversation. From working at McDonald's to a CCM, I mean this. We go over everything and you have to listen. It's what I'm just still so excited from the chat. But we talk about everything from how crucial mentoring is for personal and professional growth and why it's important to seek out mentors who can guide and give you that support in your journey. We talk about volunteering and why giving back to the industry and your community is not just a way to show gratitude but also to provide a positive impact on the community, the world and the people around you. We talk about one of my new favorite things, which is balancing tradition and innovation in the club space and embracing new ideas while respecting history and culture, and we go over that. She brings it up and it's one of my favorite quotes, which is limitations can force and spark creativity, and we talk about that. And, at the end, just wrapping it all up with the importance of self-care and making sure to put yourself forth and make sure you're the best that you can be for the people who need you to be, the best that you can be in your circle. So this is a good episode. Private Club radio listeners, please welcome the magnificent Passion. Graham CCM. Why'd you guys start off so strong? This is gonna be good. I am so excited that you're on here.

Speaker 1: 3:31

Thank you, Demi.

Speaker 2: 3:32

I am very excited and honored to be here. I really am.

Speaker 1: 3:37

So you started off at Charlotte Country Club. I'm a big fan of the club.

Speaker 2: 3:42

I'm a big fan of the club. You started off at Charlotte Country Club, then you went to Highland all in North Carolina, and you dipped out to Scottsdale. You're at Desert Mountain.

Speaker 1: 3:51

Yes.

Speaker 2: 3:52

Which I'll be there next month right after conference.

Speaker 1: 3:55

Thank, you, oh, amazing. It is a stunningly beautiful place and property and the energy and everything there, it's just, it's spectacular, it's spectacular. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there and had just one person from my family moved out to Arizona and I had some sense of connection to home. I would still be there but, as fate would have it, I am back in North Carolina.

Speaker 2: 4:25

You're at the Governor's Club.

Speaker 1: 4:27

I am, and it is amazing. It is amazing, I must say, that I have been extremely privileged throughout my career in clubs to have never landed in a bad spot. Yeah, I have the favor of the Lord upon me and I'm so grateful.

Speaker 2: 4:43

And I just wanna go back a little bit. And what is your background? Cause I did my research. I was doing some research and I know you said you didn't come from the best circumstances.

Speaker 1: 4:59

Sure sure.

Speaker 2: 5:00

Would you like dipping into that?

Speaker 1: 5:01

a little bit, of course, of course, and so my background has been hospitality, but I started working at McDonald's. I started in fast food, like a lot of people. It was a job that was a five, maybe seven minute walk from my house, and so I was able to walk to work and, honestly, it started my love for service and looking back because, as we get a little bit older and we're able to look back over experiences, I can see a lot of things that I gained from McDonald's, even down to the processes and procedures, because things are so systematic and so understanding that systems lead to consistency and it takes consistency to lead to ultimate success. And so, whether it was working at McDonald's and then foray into more casual dining and upscale dining from there, I spent a few years in hotels and I actually started my own event planning business in 2008. I also was the events manager for a little boutique venue in Charlotte and that, going through that process and that experience, we hosted one of the national sanctioned events for the 2012 DNC when it came to Charlotte, and that experience was mind blowing to do an event on that high of a level. It was very humbling and it taught me a lot. And it taught me what I didn't know about the true business of hospitality. And so I ended up going back to school to get my degree in hospitality and that's what introduced me actually to clubs. Our director of the program was a 30 year vet of clubs. He had come down from New York and he saw something in me, initially almost like hey, I know you want to maybe go back into hotels, but I really think that you would have a successful career in clubs. I said, mr Spellman, thanks, but no, thanks, I don't wanna be in clubs because I had these preconceived notions of what it would be to serve the elite. And so I actually waited until the last possible semester to take the club management course. Part of that course was touring clubs in and around the Charlotte region, one of them being the Charlotte Country Club. And yeah, from that first visit I was bought in Hook, lime and Sinker. The rest is, they say it's history.

Speaker 2: 7:40

And then when did you? How far? Excuse me, how far in, because now you have your CCM, which you just got. That's a lot of work, a lot of work, yes gusting my shoulders off.

Speaker 1: 7:53

That was a lot of work. That was a lot of work and when I think about the process and really the time and effort that went into it, it is a moment that, yeah, I will forever be proud of and grateful for, and know that I can't take full credit for it, because it is such a big endeavor that no one of us who have accomplished this if they say they accomplished it on their own lies Lies. It truly takes a village and I had an amazing group of study partners and cheerleaders and just individuals to just rally around, whether it's just you know, I'm not going to be in your prayer and good vibrations or I'm going to send you a study guide or here's a tip or hint or something that you know helped me when I was going through the process. It truly was a group effort and I'm so grateful that I had an amazing village around me.

Speaker 2: 9:06

How does it feel to hold the keys to the kingdom?

Speaker 1: 9:12

Well, it can be the head that wears the crown sometimes, but it is something that I truly appreciate and honor. You will find that gratitude is something that permeates for me in all ways, because I do find so much gratitude in the space that I sit, and I know and understand that I could have very easily ended up a statistic and not been here. There are not a lot of people, there are not enough people who look like me, who are in this space, and so I am very, very privileged to sit in the seat that I currently sit, and it's why I take opportunities such as this, because it gives me the opportunity to stand before people and, to you know, enlarge my territory and have a platform to say, hey, look at me, and people can understand that. Hey, if she can do it, then I can do it too. I know that people believe that they can be what they see, and if they see a piece of themselves in someone else, then they know that it's possible for them.

Speaker 2: 10:30

Now you must have been. I think you mentioned it in an article I read about or maybe something I was listening to. It was like maybe the CMA thing you mentioned and talked about mentoring, mentorships and mentoring who's who've been some of your mentors.

Speaker 1: 10:46

Wow, how long do we have?

Speaker 2: 10:50

I have at least an hour.

Speaker 1: 10:53

So I will say Most amazing mentors within the industry. Of course Damon DeOrio. He was my first mentor, the one who that day, when I went on that tour of Charlotte Country Club, he sat us down and gave us a presentation of Damon's 20 golden rules to live by, and you know that has become kind of my Bible throughout this journey through the industry. Jill Filman is another amazing mentor, michelle Casita, who was one of my initial managers at Charlotte Country Club and though she is, you know, kind of industry adjacent, she works with strategic club solutions Now I know that I can still text call her at any moment. And then all of all of my, my leaders, my general managers and then also industry colleagues who are also amazing mentors. You know you actually have Bria on on the podcast and I consider her to be a mentor. She especially going through the CCM. We were in a group, we actually still are in a group together and we decided that we are going to stay together throughout our time in this industry and beyond. That's awesome. And then one of the greatest mentors of my life, my mother, you know. From the beginning she's always told me to believe in myself and that I can do and be anything. And, as I've learned and become a mentor myself, understanding the importance that this role plays in my life and that I can play in the lives of others, understanding that all mentors are not necessarily going to be within the industry, understanding that all mentors are not going to be with you forever Sometimes it's just for a season and a time period and understanding that the biggest part and the biggest onus of the mentor-mentee relationship really lies on the mentee. It's not on the mentor to set the times for the meetings, to have the agendas for the meeting. If I say to you, hey, denny, I've been watching what you're doing and I'm looking at becoming a podcaster. That's something that I really would like to do Then the onus is on me to come to you and say, hey, here's my agenda, here are the goals that I have, and then if you say, all right, I want to take you on as a mentee, then we'll work together harmoniously to reverse engineer those goals and to figure that out.

Speaker 2: 13:46

So I was literally just gonna ask you know, what advice do you have for people who might be looking for something like that? And there's just took my question. It's so good, is that how? Is that how your other mentorship starts started Like, is that how you would say it happened? Or yeah, is that something that? Is that something that you've learned? Is it something that somebody else taught you? How did you come up with that?

Speaker 1: 14:09

Yeah, so I would say a little bit of a little bit of both. A lot of it has been been organic Organic but a lot of it has been learned. I will say the first Meeting that I had with with mr Diorio I actually went to Michelle and said, alright, I'm gonna have this meeting with mr Diorio, I do not want to waste this man's time kind of help me, you know, as I'm going into it, and so I had some bullet points down on a piece of paper and she helped me curate my first agenda and it was so helpful and so beneficial that it's just something that I have grown from. And you know that was back in 2014 and it worked, so I continued to utilize that and then share it with with others.

Speaker 2: 15:03

Are you currently meant meant being? Are you currently mentoring other people? I?

Speaker 1: 15:08

am. I am and Believe it or not, it was a title of position or role that I shot away from because I'm Initially, because it's like, well, what is it that I would have to teach? I still have so much to learn, but Understanding that someone like a Damon Diorio might be a nine and a half or ten, but even me, as a Five, six or seven, has something to teach someone who's a two or three. So we all are always in a position where we can not only learn from others, but we are all always in a position where we have something to teach someone as well.

Speaker 2: 15:51

And you're big into volunteering and volunteer work right.

Speaker 1: 15:54

I am. I am To whom much is given. Much is required, and this industry has given so much to me from being able to walk into places that, growing up, I didn't even know existed, much less feel like I would have access to. Far be it for me to not reach back and and open the doors and give back to To this industry that has given so much, and so, whether that's going to schools and speaking to students, I actually have the opportunity to speak to some students tomorrow. University of Nebraska, our friend Ben Lorenzen teaches a course and yeah, and so he typically will say hey, once a semester, and. But the answers he knows will always will always be yes. I love giving back, especially to students. I have the privilege of also sitting on the board at the University of South Carolina and their hospitality school and an advisory capacity and, yeah, that that type of work really makes my heart seem. It really, really does.

Speaker 2: 17:13

What's your favorite type of giving back and volunteer work? I know there's. There's so many different ways that it can be done and people do it.

Speaker 1: 17:19

Do you have?

Speaker 2: 17:19

like a favorite.

Speaker 1: 17:21

Yeah, I would say the favorite part for me is Going into the classrooms, connecting with the students and really giving them my time, spending time with them. I love speaking to classes, don't get me wrong, but when I have that opportunity to connect with them on a one-on-one basis, and whether that's via email or or text, after the fact and and Saying all right, here are the goals that I have, here are the things that I want to do, or want to become, and To be able to work with them on that and and really seeing when they are on their journey and Showing them that their goals really aren't that far fetched, or you know, or sometimes even pushing them to think even higher or even broader with their goals, and seeing those light bulbs go off and or or to see so like with me being at governor's club now I am in the triangle, so we have students from Duke and UNC, chapel Hill, that are brilliant, brilliant students that are working to become doctors and lawyers, and Sometimes they don't understand the connection that hospitality can have and making them or helping them to reach and attain their goals. And so to have those conversations where it's Understanding how being of true service and and and understanding core values and the things that they are learning. These skills are transferable to any industry and To help them to see that and to see those little light bulbs go off, that, yeah, that's the secret sauce, like that that really gets me going.

Speaker 2: 19:17

Some of them need to learn better bedside manners. Yes, I guess, I guess that that's their way of saying hospitality bedside manners In the, in the, in that world. A question I've been asking a lot and I leave it sort of open a little bit, but it's In the club space how do you balance tradition with innovation? Okay, because the club world has like this fine line and it's and it's fun listening and learning what every club does. Is it all boils down to their own culture and everything else? So, uh, with that question, take it away.

Speaker 1: 19:56

Yeah, so culture is very important. So it's one to understand the club that you're going into, but then also understanding that so many clubs are changing the just. In the couple of years that I've been at at governance club, our average age of membership has decreased by six years. And yeah, yeah, and so that's the beauty of you know, the, the transitions that we all have seen since COVID um, clubs are getting a lot younger, and so you tradition, I feel, is always something that you want to have respect for, but also you want to take into consideration where the club is going, and you cannot be afraid of of innovation and understanding that diversity is the prerequisite for innovation. So, with the way our clubs are diversifying, with having younger families come again, and it's not just, you know, retired people who have all of this money, um, and but families, and so innovation, you, you have to not be afraid of it, and I think that innovation and and not being afraid to kind of rattle things and have fun is what has allowed me to be so successful in my career, because I'm not afraid to do that and I'm not afraid of allowing people to push their limits, of having fun, because I believe it does. People are people, regardless of whether you're black or white, or you're old or younger, you have money or you don't. People want to have fun, people want to smile, people want to enjoy themselves, and so I remember, I remember one event, um, it's actually a golf tournament that, uh, we have at and I say leave, but I'm no longer at, uh, desert Mountain, but um, it's called a Rattler and, and so part of what I wanted to do for this event was just have these blow up rattlesnakes everywhere and I bought, I found some on on Amazon and I bought a ton of them and my director of operations was like passion, I don't know. And I'm just like, just trust me, just trust me. And do you know, having these blow up six foot, eight foot, 20 foot snakes everywhere became a hit, and now it's something that we can't take away and, believe it or not. We had executives that were like, hey, I'd give you a hundred bucks. These were blow up snakes that I found on Amazon for maybe 20 or 30 bucks, but it turned into people wanted to buy them, to take them home, to throw them in their pool, to have a round. But it's little things like that not being afraid to do things in any of it, and it doesn't always have to cost a lot of money, but just having fun, allowing people to have fun and not having these preconceived notions of what fun could possibly look like, you know. And so, yeah, I think yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:25

I'm just laughing because you mentioned Ben and you're just talking about fun and like blow up things. I know, like Ben has, like he's I forget what he said he goes. I think he spent. I think he got a blow up maze it was, and he goes. I spent it out of my own pocket. He sent it to like an Asian company and didn't hear anything for months and then like this thing just showed up, but so that made me laugh. And then also when you're like, you know, fun is fun for everybody, it doesn't matter what it is. I remember when I went down to the creative summit I forget what he called it, but it was we were playing this one. Oh, it was like American Ninja Warrior, but at one point. he's he goes all right, go out there and run, and he's like, don't get hit. I was like what do you mean? And he takes the, the tennis ball launcher, and it's just like launching it at us. And like you're trying to navigate, and he gives you like a Nerf gun to like fight back with, which is, like you know, bring a knife to a gunfight, like it was, but it was a but. It's just funny watching because then you just see all of the, the member, all the people just start coming together and just watching and laughing.

Speaker 1: 24:35

Oh, but yeah, so and that's what it's about, right, creating those memories. And humans want to recreate and continue to have the good experiences that yet. So if you're able to create those, those good memories, those fun times, people will want to recreate those for themselves. And so that's, and that's truly, what we're, what we're here for.

Speaker 2: 25:01

Are there any cool like innovative changes of that and anything you've done at governor's club that you're really proud of?

Speaker 1: 25:07

Yeah, so we have done quite a lot. Most memorable and most recent, I would say, would be our winter wonderland. Back in, I would say well, definitely, well before my time, we would have a big event called Tiz this season, and everyone would say, oh, this was our big holiday event. You know, with COVID we stopped having this event, but it was one that we would spend almost six figures on annually, and so that had gone to the wayside. It was not something that we wanted to do, so we had to, or had the budget to do, but we knew that our members wanted something, and so, again, it's all right, here's what the budget is Better, some things that we can can come up with, because, again, this was this previous event was one that we actually was shut the club down for a week to be able to put on Right and so not in a position to be able to do those, but we still wanted it to be a big wow factor. And I will tell you, I am the self-reliant queen of making something out of nothing. So you give me, tell me what my budget is, thank you, and tell me what my time constraints are, and we're going to make it happen, and we did and our members absolutely loved it. When the time was coming again and we pulled a couple of members as well as a couple of staff members who have amazing voices and they were carolers outside, we got snow machines and so as members entered from their port of Couchier you have carolers, you had snow and that we had a white carpet instead of the red carpet Coming in, and that was the entrance and it just went up level over level over level. After that, people love having access to places that they typically don't. What's the place that people love to go that they typically don't have access to? The men's locker room. So in the men's locker room, you know, we have ice loose with your choice of vodka or tequila, and you know, again, these are things that we were going to have bars anyway. Right, we were going to have ice anyway. So take an extra piece of the ice from the big seafood display that we had in there and let's make a luge. And so, again, just coming up with creative and innovative ways to make something out of nothing and sure that people are having fun, and in each area it's going to be innovative and fun and engaging, and we had several different like fun little photo booths set up and you know it. Just, it really created a new tradition, if you will, for us at the club and and members are very excited. We did have a couple of members on our little committee that we had to say what are some things that you want to experience? How do you want to feel as you're walking into each space and then allow them to kind of step back and us to create the experiences, to give them the feelings that they actually want, yeah, as they walk in the club. So, once you're Wonderland, that's one that I think is going to be definitely our new tradition going forward.

Speaker 2: 28:36

I love that. One of my favorite quotes is limitations force creativity. So when you write right, so I like that, especially when you even you said hey, give me a budget and give me some time and I'll make it happen. That is so. You know, my, my background, doing the magic, mind reading and comedy show. That's what magic is is you know, your limitations force your creativity and especially if you don't have limitations, putting limitations on it to force the creativity. So you have a budget of 50,000. That's awesome. Have fun with it now and go OK, now what if I had 10 times that? What if I had 500,000? What, what? How would I still accomplish this in? And what would I do for the same event, but also the opposite, what if you know? What if I only had 5000? Right, how can I still accomplish and do that? And just gets the brain going and thinking and just you know, kind of putting those limitations on it and even if it's just OK. So last year we used snowflakes and e-glues. This year we cannot use snowflakes and e-glues.

Speaker 1: 29:35

Right, so just like a little just little exercise.

Speaker 2: 29:39

You don't have to do them, but I think it's just fun and gets it going and saying with like it doesn't have to be just like the money, but the time and everything else when you brought in your staff and your people to sing. I've heard you've been known to tickle the Ivory's a little bit.

Speaker 1: 29:55

Oh, you really did your research, wow.

Speaker 2: 30:01

So did you. Were you, you know, tickling the Ivory's during the event.

Speaker 1: 30:06

No, no, I was not. Is that going to play? I was not. However, several of our members have also found out my little secret, and so there may or may not be a team talent show for our members coming in 2024.

Speaker 2: 30:26

And you're the ringer. Wow so so talk, talk a little bit about music. How long have you been in loving music for? I would assume probably your entire life.

Speaker 1: 30:41

My entire life. I love music. There's not a day that goes by that music is, whether it's when I'm in the shower and I'm having music playing in the car or, you know, going for a jog and there's a song. But I, yeah, I absolutely love music. My mom, I started taking piano lessons when I was five and a half, maybe six, and, yeah, so classically trained pianist, and I played and actually took lessons until I was 16. And at 16, I actually told my mother this was the one and only fight that me and my mom had. So I had decided that playing the piano and being a classically trained pianist was her dream for me, that it wasn't mine. My dream was to go to Hollywood and become an actress. I was going to be an actress, so I was no longer going to be playing the piano and, yeah, it was a waste of my time. Biggest regret of my life, though I will say that is the one thing that I regret was to stop taking those lessons and, yeah, being fully immersed in piano the way that I was.

Speaker 2: 31:57

Do you still play at all? If you see like a piano in an airport, do you ever, like you know, crack the knuckles, go up and just every once in a while I will.

Speaker 1: 32:08

We actually had panels. Karen, who is a world renowned pianist, come to the governor's club last year and he was practicing and I was literally moved to tears and I went in as he was rehearsing and I actually told him that story and I hadn't played or actually touched a piano in almost 10 years and he had me to come sit and play some chords and it was the most amazing moment.

Speaker 2: 32:42

Oh, I got the chills, yeah, man.

Speaker 1: 32:46

It was yeah, I can get emotional just thinking about it, and so I told my mom and I promised that I would pick it back up.

Speaker 2: 32:59

That's so cool. So I was taking drum lessons, probably from about five to maybe like 14, 15. Okay, and I took one piano lesson and I was done. I couldn't do it.

Speaker 1: 33:10

Wow.

Speaker 2: 33:10

It was so slow. I think the teacher was a little boring too, but going from being like you know monkey on the drums from Sesame Street to now. You know, because I still to this day cannot read music Like I just can't like.

Speaker 1: 33:24

I can never focus yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:26

So I was always just like I would like listen and my mom would tell the drum teacher like listen, you know he's. Just don't make him hate it, like I'm paying you for the hour If he's going to sit there and bang on a symbol just let him it might suck Just like, suck it, just let him do it. So I think then when I went to like the, the piano teacher's like now this is the B and I'm like I can't do this Like, and then they all like, they all look the same and like I can't get down that quick and go, uh. And so what is next on your adventure?

Speaker 1: 33:56

Wow, Um next on my adventure or what's?

Speaker 2: 34:01

what has you excited?

Speaker 1: 34:04

Okay, so we're at the top of the year, and at the top of each year I choose my one word, and this year, my word is passion, and double on pondra. So my goal for this year is because I choose to. I have, in the past, always chose to say yes to absolutely everything and to do all of the things. I found that I have Spread myself a little thin, and so this year, if it truly doesn't speak to me and it's not something that I am truly passionate about for instance, speaking engagements not taking every single speaking engagement, but only the ones that I am truly passionate about I am going to say no and then also choosing to put passion first. I realize that, while it is noble to serve others, that is literally the industry that I am in and I love being of service that I need to pour and give for my saucer and not my cup, and until my cup is truly full and overflowing, um, then I don't have really anything to give. I'm not giving of my best because I haven't given myself my best, and I chose that at the beginning of the year. And, you know, something that we spoke about was the fact that I am doing this for my home today because I am actually on a medical leave from work, and it was not something that I consciously chose. This moment, I feel, chose me because I chose to say passion is going to be first, and then I went back to the habit of nope, it's all right, I have a little headache, I'm still going to put my head down and work. But if you are intentional about what you desire, the universe will conspire to bring you what it is that you truly want. And if what I say is I'm going to do things differently this year, I'm going to put myself first this year, then the universe has sat me down and said all right, sister, let's take inventory and do those things. And so that is where I currently find myself. So I am on on a new journey of self-discovery and, yeah, putting myself first.

Speaker 2: 36:47

And not for anything, that you've also earned that position to do that as well. It's not like. You were selfish the entire time and it was like oh, I'm just going to keep it even more selfish. You know, you've, you've, you put the work in. There was a quote somebody said it was, I think. I don't know if it was a comedian or something, I forget it wasn't. I forget the exact person, but it was something. It was like a religious thing and it was saying how, like it was about people who, oh, sundays, like you know, taking the day off to the Lord's day, it's like yeah, but you didn't work the rest of the other days, so this doesn't count, like yeah, it doesn't work. So it was like that's what they reminded me. It's like no, you put the work in. So like, of course now you've you've earned the right to be choosier and and to pick the battles and to do all that, so yeah.

Speaker 1: 37:33

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 37:35

Oh well, I don't. I this is. This is your week. You know I want you to take some more time off. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I really appreciate it. You are more than welcome anytime, so thanks.

Speaker 1: 37:50

Thank you, danny, I really appreciate you. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 37:54

Wow, hope you all enjoyed that episode. I know I did. I it was the, the, the energy, the excitement, the passion, the, the, the I don't even know that was just that. That was an episode and glad I was able to have passion on, glad you all get to listen and hopefully everybody took something away. What a fun episode. If you can, please like, share, subscribe. Share this episode with somebody who you think might also enjoy it. Your support means a lot, costs nothing and helps us move the ball forward. So until next time, catch you all on the flippity flip.