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Oct. 21, 2024

395: Leading with Pride & Authenticity w/ Dana Cancellaro, CCM

We sit down with Dana Cancellaro, the dynamic Chief Operating Officer and General Manager of Crestmont Country Club. Dana shares her incredible journey, from working in sales and hospitality to becoming a trailblazer in the private club industry. We dive into her personal and professional experiences as an openly gay club manager, discussing the challenges and triumphs of fostering inclusivity and equity in a traditionally exclusive space.

Dana also reveals the pivotal moments in her career, including how embracing her authentic self led to major breakthroughs in her leadership style. She offers valuable insights on handling difficult members, the importance of mentorship, and the power of small changes that can make a big impact. Whether you're a club management veteran or just starting out, Dana’s story is full of inspiration, humor, and practical advice for navigating the evolving world of private clubs.

Tune in for an engaging conversation filled with leadership lessons, real-world advice, and a lots of laughs along the way!

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Chapters

00:00 - Inclusivity and Equity in Club Management

08:31 - Navigating Inclusivity in Club Management

16:22 - Handling Club Member Complaints

19:11 - Constructive Feedback and Self-Improvement

22:46 - Mentorship and Club Management Experiences

Transcript
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Hey everybody, welcome to the Private Club Radio Show, where we give you the scoop on all things private golf and country clubs, from mastering leadership and management, food and beverage excellence, member engagement, secrets, board governance and everything in between, all while keeping it fun and light.

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Whether you're a club veteran just getting your feet wet or somewhere in the middle, you are in the right place.

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I'm your host, denny Corby.

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Welcome to the show place.

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I'm your host, denny Corby.

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Welcome to the show.

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In this episode I'm chatting with a new friend of mine, dana Cancelero, ccm.

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She's the GM COO, chief Operating Officer over at Crestmont Country Club, west Orange, new York, and we start off with a fantastic story of her sharing because she has an amazing background from working at Ethan Allen doing radio sales and then finding clubs.

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And we start off with a really great story of how she was working at a hotel late at night in a big storm and Stephen King walks in the Stephen King.

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So we start off with a really cool story and we talk a lot about mentorship and the rising through the ranks and in her journey as being an openly gay club manager.

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We talk about how inclusivity and equity are crucial in the club industry and what her journey was like the ups, the downs, the goods, the bads, the challenges and triumphs that she's faced in the industry and what it really boils down to.

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And a really cool point is, things really fell into place when she was able to be her authentic self.

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In the episode we talk and have insights on handling member complaints and negative feedback and what that means and how to handle that.

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And she's a big dog person, so triple kudos in my book, dog people are the best people.

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And she has Frenchies and I have an English bulldog, so I love bulldog ownership.

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But no, I'm very excited for this episode.

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It is really good.

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If you have not done so already, make sure you sign up for our newsletter to stay up to date with all of our latest releases and content.

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Head over to privateclubradiocom.

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Wait about a couple seconds.

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The box pops up.

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Big thanks to some of our show partners.

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We have Concert Golf Partners, kennis Member Vetting and Golf Life Navigators.

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You're going to hear about them later on more in the show, but right now let's welcome to the show Dana Cancelero.

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Working at a hotel was a lot of fun.

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I worked at the front desk for a while, the catering and I met Stephen King there.

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That was cool yeah.

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Cause he's up in that area.

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Moment of my life.

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Yeah, he's from Maine, so he was in maine and this was after he got hit by the car.

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Like this is right after you know that whole thing where he was walking he got hit by the car and he was like on the side of the road.

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Oh my god, you can't make this stuff up.

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Yeah, I was at the front desk.

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Sorry, if you have time I'll tell you I'll make time.

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This is, this is gold, yeah it was nuts.

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um.

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So I get a phone call.

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It's a dark winter night.

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There's like three people staying in the hotel.

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I'm by myself, I'm at the front desk, it's myself, the bartender at the restaurant and one security guard.

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That's it.

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That's the entire staff on that night.

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Is this the shining what?

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Yeah, basically Right.

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So I get a phone call from this woman and she's like my, one of my clients is driving through and he's getting tired.

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Do you guys have any rooms available?

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And I'm like oh yeah, absolutely.

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She goes.

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Oh well, he's kind of a VIP.

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Do you have a nice room?

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I'm like yeah, we have a suite.

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Telling her all about it, she's like that sounds perfect.

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I said great, last name.

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She's like King.

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I'm like King, get it.

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She's like he'll be there in about a half hour.

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I said okay, great.

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So I'm there like not breathing right For about a half hour straight.

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And then noise.

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I'm not even kidding you.

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You can't make this stuff up right.

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It's like the wind howls, the automatic doors open, the snow is flying in the background and this huge zombie figure man comes limping in the front desk, like right up to the front desk, and I'm like, oh my God, I'm like this is how I'm going to die.

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Like this is it.

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I'm done, I'm toast.

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Yeah, this is the end of my story.

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And I check him in.

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I'm being so professional because we had training on how to be professional with famous people.

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I'm professional.

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I checked this man in and he walks away and I'm not even kidding you.

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He takes three steps and he turns around and he says to me don't you love empty hotels on winter nights?

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And I was like, no, sir, I don't, and it's because of you.

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Yeah, scariest thing I've ever happened.

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I was like, wow, I got to call my mom, I got to get my affairs in order.

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Like I'm not.

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I was like counting the minutes for the night audit woman to come in.

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I was like this is it.

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This is how I'm going to die.

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This is crazy.

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I'm too young for this, please no this is it.

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This is it.

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Yeah, the grim Reaper has showed up.

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Yeah, exactly, so after that.

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I got out of hotels I was like this business is too dangerous.

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Let me get into private clubs.

00:05:10.584 --> 00:05:11.488
yeah, exactly sorry for you with that story.

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No, no, that that was an awesome.

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The industry needed some rainbows, though I'm glad I could bring it that that's how to.

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It's how to affect the journey like that's how to of oh, a thousand percent, yeah, yeah what was it?

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I mean like the, was it as difficult before coming in?

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Like, did you know how difficult it was going to be coming into the industry?

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And was it as difficult as you thought?

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And has it gotten better?

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Oh, it's definitely.

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It's gotten better in some instances, right Like I'm at like my club right now it doesn't matter.

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But I remember my very first conversation when I was, you know, mid manager and I'm speaking to my AGM and I'm like, well, what do you want me to say to people?

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Because they keep asking me if I have a boyfriend, a husband, like what?

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Should I say he's like um well, um, um, and you see him like bouncing up and down in the chair.

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You know being all uncomfortable.

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I'm like whenever you're ready, tell me what I should say, and I'll say it, you know I don't want to lose my job.

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I don't want to get in trouble, uh, but he was actually very nice about it and it was just, you know, I guess, whatever you're comfortable saying, uh, and continuing to work comfortably, that's what you say.

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I was like, okay, great, my non-answer um.

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But then, you know, I just started after that.

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I just kind of made it a point to always drop that in an interview somehow.

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You know, like, just so you know what you're getting into, um.

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And then since then, actually now that I'm like this, you know I've become like a pillar of the openly gay club management community, somehow, um, I have I've had young people call me, like I've literally had calls and emails from like young gay club managers that were like, how do I come out at work?

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Like what do I say?

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I'm like, well, what'd you say to your parents?

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You know, start there, let's start with that.

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But yeah, it can be tricky, but now I'm just I make sure it's very like prominent.

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So no, I was actually going to talk about, like I love just the story from the young hustler go-getter Dana to me.

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I just go back and then the Stephen King story, which I'm not going to have you tell again because I still have it from the first time and I'm going to make sure it comes in because it's so good.

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Yeah, but I was going to talk about more like the, because I liked what we were talking about mentorship, because I liked what we were talking about mentorship.

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But I mean, if you want to go into, like you know, being a gay club manager, like what that has been like, because I think the the I mean, have you talked about like the early beginning stuff, like that had to be so difficult?

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Maybe you know, or I could be totally wrong, but no, no, no, it's tricky.

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Right, it's because, again, you like find an industry that you love and you're not sure if it's going to love you back.

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Right, that's the hard part, and it's like I work hard, everyone's telling me I do a good job, but this like fundamental piece of me, like yeah, that's something all of a sudden that's going to make this industry like not possible for me and you know it's not.

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I don't think it's by design.

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Right, the club industry has always been behind.

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We're light years behind everybody all the time.

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But you know it's one of the things I said when I was on the Metropolitan Board was you know, guys, this is something we can't afford to be behind on.

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You know, when it comes to diversity and equity like we can't afford to, because it's hard enough to get young kids to work in our business Right now, you're going to alienate a whole group of them and say, by the way, thanks for applying, but not sure this industry fits.

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You know who you are.

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That's a tough message, you know, and so that's.

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I've always been a big proponent of just you know, inclusivity and equity across the board and clubs.

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And it's not easy, it's not.

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We're not built for that.

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We're built clubs, literally.

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What's the thing people say about clubs?

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My club is the most exclusive, great.

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Yeah, let's put the sign on the door Members only private don't come in.

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So it's it's tricky to build inclusivity into a quite literal exclusive environment, but I think we're we're we're doing really well and and big chapters like the metropolitan chapters working so hard to change that and it's incredible.

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It's, it's a really great thing.

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What were some of the beginning steps?

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Like what were some of the beginning I don't want to say baby steps but like what were things that helped get momentum forward.

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What were things that were done that you can remember, that you know were just good things that just kept and got the ball rolling.

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You know, on that front, I think for me it was just having, um, the fact that I was very lucky to have sort of very supportive general managers as I was a younger manager, Um, and I, I would have to say, part of it really was geography.

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You know, I'm mostly in New York, uh, which is usually in the forefront of a lot of things.

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I'm not, you know, I'd never worked in one of the square states in the middle.

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I don't know how that would go and that that can be tricky.

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No, no, that there's.

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There's something we said there.

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You know whether you did it on purpose or not, but you put yourself, or were, it seems like, in a position to where there were more opportunities and trying to put like I don't want to say what is it?

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Like a square peg in, like a circle hole, but it's like okay, if you're, if you're going to fight the battle, like maybe put the odds in your favor a little bit more.

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I don't know.

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Well, exactly, exactly, it's like but that's the thing in the club business across the board.

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Anyway, right, it's go somewhere where you're the fit right, where you make sense.

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And yeah, that does apply very much with you know.

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Folks with you know come from a different background.

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Let's say, cause it applies, it's not just you know, gay, straight, it's a lot of things you know.

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Even women in club management.

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For decades that was like, oh, there's not that many women at the table.

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Then all of a sudden folks noticed and they're like maybe we should create a specialty group for women in club management.

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You know, and now we do it all the time.

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But that was that just got created.

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What Seven, eight years ago?

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You know, that's still pretty brand new.

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Forget groundbreaking.

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We're earth shattering, I think at that point.

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But it's been, but it's been baby steps.

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But yeah, at the beginning it's, you put yourself in the right place and you have to make sure you're comfortable.

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That's what it's all about, you know anyway.

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Even in our personal lives.

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It's when you're comfortable, that's when you make the decision to sort of be who you fully are, and that was a big part of my journey as a club manager, even just the way I spoke to people.

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Quite honestly, I think about it all the time.

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When I was young, I used to make sure, oh, I want to speak correctly, I can't say anything.

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I would say to my friends.

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You know, I talk to my friends when I'm with members.

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I speak to members and then after a while I realized, well, wait a minute, I'm goofy, like why am I wasting my time being so serious?

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You know, once I started being me and being goofy is actually when my career took off, when I started interviewing as myself rather than as like what.

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I thought I needed to you know, do and say, my career just skyrocketed from there.

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How old were you and how many clubs deep, like like when?

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When was that shift?

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Yeah, yeah.

00:11:48.748 --> 00:11:51.711
So when I was, I was an AGM at Nassau Country Club.

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That was in 2013, 2014.

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So I was just, I just turned 30, 31.

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Yeah, and I started to realize the members, you know, they were a little more of a down to earth membership and I was like, oh, I'm so used to speaking the right way and saying the right thing that you know.

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I was like this isn't really working, like they're not getting to know me.

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So I started coming out of my shell more and more and just being me, which I thought was the last thing I was supposed to be on a day-to-day basis, I started coming out of my shell a little more and that's again.

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I was fully out of that club, which was great.

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And then, when I had my first interview for Stanford Yacht Club as the incoming general manager, I mean I nailed it.

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I just walked in and I said, you know, I thought in my head I'm like there's no way I'm getting this job, so let me go in Firing double guns, like we got this baby.

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Yeah, he had the end of the table.

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I'm like, who's that guy?

00:12:43.892 --> 00:12:44.975
Never met that guy before.

00:12:44.975 --> 00:12:45.566
He seems cool.

00:12:45.566 --> 00:12:48.653
All right, you know, now I know Dan.

00:12:48.653 --> 00:12:49.355
Well, obviously.

00:12:49.355 --> 00:12:59.126
But at that point I'm like, all right, guy, nice to meet you.

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Let's go in and see what happens, just being me having fun.

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And and you know what I?

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Then, at night, he's like hey, they loved you.

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I'm like what why?

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So that for me was like a turning point.

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It was like, okay, you know what, let me just be myself.

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I'm wasting time trying to be what I think everyone needs me to be, and let me just be myself, cause I think you know what, I'm okay.

00:13:15.618 --> 00:13:17.500
I'm not for everyone, but I'm okay.

00:13:19.184 --> 00:13:23.754
That's awesome and and the membership fully supports.

00:13:23.754 --> 00:13:25.826
Have you been in any situations that you've like?

00:13:25.826 --> 00:13:26.730
How have you handled?

00:13:26.730 --> 00:13:29.845
I don't, you know, I'm sure there's been unique situations.

00:13:29.845 --> 00:13:34.083
How do you handle, like you know, when you can, you can you know whether a member come.

00:13:34.083 --> 00:13:38.495
I don't know if members complain, like I'm sure, I'm sure you've seen everything and heard everything.

00:13:38.495 --> 00:13:40.491
How do you, how do you handle?

00:13:40.491 --> 00:13:42.138
I mean, I'm sure your skin's got to be thick.

00:13:42.138 --> 00:13:51.168
I mean, just well, and just to go back to your like history of, like, working in ethan allen and doing radio sales, to do radio sales you got to have thick skin anyway.

00:13:51.168 --> 00:13:53.533
So like, so go back, but you know.

00:13:53.533 --> 00:13:54.836
So, yeah, sorry, go ahead.

00:13:55.537 --> 00:13:56.239
No, no, that's fine.

00:13:56.239 --> 00:13:59.807
So I always say it's so funny, Someone you know.

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They say something like oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to like upset you.

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I'm like I've been a club manager for 20 years.

00:14:03.692 --> 00:14:05.051
I don't have feelings anymore.

00:14:05.051 --> 00:14:19.892
I haven't had three psychological terrorists, basically.

00:14:19.892 --> 00:14:22.861
So if you didn't have thick skin in my household you were not going to make it right.

00:14:22.923 --> 00:14:23.905
So it started there.

00:14:23.905 --> 00:14:30.307
And then really, yes, just like you said, radio sales, I mean talk about notes, right, it's like no, thank you, no, no, thank you.

00:14:30.307 --> 00:14:33.874
Phone up, closing doors, I mean that's really what it was all about.

00:14:33.874 --> 00:14:41.715
But after a while you start to realize it's people aren't saying no to you, right, they're saying no to the idea of the concept, the direction of the club.

00:14:41.715 --> 00:14:42.196
What have you?

00:14:42.196 --> 00:14:44.868
It's not you personally, Right, and that's what you have to remember.

00:14:44.868 --> 00:14:46.850
That's kind of what keeps you going from day to day.

00:14:46.850 --> 00:14:52.135
Or else, yeah, Forget it, You'll just, you'll put your head under your blanket and you'll never want to wake up in this business.

00:14:52.135 --> 00:14:54.879
It's just you have to understand what it's about.

00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:56.741
Yeah, exactly.

00:14:57.144 --> 00:14:58.229
So so, so.

00:14:58.229 --> 00:15:09.874
So going to back to like the member, like how do you handle as a professional GM, like what are those conversations like and you know what's what, what happens, you know what in those situations?

00:15:10.684 --> 00:15:10.846
Sure.

00:15:10.846 --> 00:15:13.394
So I mean, I think the most important thing, right?

00:15:13.394 --> 00:15:15.388
Everyone, I have a reputation.

00:15:15.388 --> 00:15:18.557
When I started a new club, I'm like, all right, give me your top five.

00:15:18.557 --> 00:15:21.432
I know you have the top five, complainers, the top five.

00:15:21.432 --> 00:15:26.052
Nothing's ever good enough, nothing's great, like everything at the club, like it's the members.

00:15:26.052 --> 00:15:28.046
You're like why are you a member here If you don't enjoy the club?

00:15:28.046 --> 00:15:33.312
I'm like, give me those names, right, let me just sort of take it head on, right?

00:15:33.312 --> 00:15:40.181
So I will literally seek those people out and I will call them up, email them whatever it is, text them, whatever I have to do to get them in front of me.

00:15:40.181 --> 00:15:42.048
Hi, I'm brand new here.

00:15:42.048 --> 00:15:44.173
I know you've had some issues with the club.

00:15:44.173 --> 00:15:46.265
Tell me what it is, let me know.

00:15:46.265 --> 00:15:48.892
We sit down, we talk, they'll rattle off.

00:15:48.892 --> 00:15:51.557
You know seven thousand things that are wrong with the club.

00:15:51.557 --> 00:15:58.321
You know 7,000 things that are wrong with the club and through that conversation I'll pick off like one or two that are actually doable, changeable things.

00:15:58.321 --> 00:16:01.229
That are, you know, things we can actually take action on.

00:16:01.229 --> 00:16:06.990
And that's what I do, and I make these tiny little changes that they've been complaining about for decades right.

00:16:07.331 --> 00:16:11.188
In some cases I had one man that complained about something for decades.

00:16:11.188 --> 00:16:15.158
He was like I just want to be able to walk my dog up here.

00:16:15.158 --> 00:16:21.533
I'm going to clean up after him, I just but I need my dog to be walked up here and then I drive him home and that's it.

00:16:21.533 --> 00:16:22.929
No one ever listens to me.

00:16:22.929 --> 00:16:24.410
I'm like well, what time is this?

00:16:24.410 --> 00:16:25.610
He's like at like 6 am.

00:16:25.610 --> 00:16:27.110
I'm like is anyone here?

00:16:27.110 --> 00:16:28.846
He's like no, no one's here.

00:16:28.846 --> 00:16:31.229
I'm like all right, let me see what I can do.

00:16:31.229 --> 00:16:32.269
So we did.

00:16:32.269 --> 00:16:33.791
I was like you know what?

00:16:33.791 --> 00:16:36.134
As long as before 7 am, anyone can walk their dog here.

00:16:36.134 --> 00:16:37.716
At the club we had a huge property.

00:16:37.995 --> 00:16:50.754
Anyone could walk their dog here as long as they pick up after themselves After that I'm not kidding you, that was three clubs ago that man still talks about the fact that I'm the greatest club manager he has ever met and that the club was never better when I was there.

00:16:50.754 --> 00:16:52.856
But it's the little things, right.

00:16:52.856 --> 00:16:55.687
Everyone just wants to be heard and we get, so we get.

00:16:55.687 --> 00:17:06.892
We turn such a deaf ear to the folks that complain all the time that once in a while you have to remember to just listen and just if there's something that you can change for them, just change it and it makes a huge difference in their world.

00:17:06.892 --> 00:17:09.268
And that's that's kind of how I handle the tough ones.

00:17:09.268 --> 00:17:12.732
But at the end of the day, it's not just members too, it's staff, right.

00:17:12.732 --> 00:17:14.215
Everyone wants to be heard.

00:17:14.215 --> 00:17:17.786
So how can we hear them, how can we affect a little bit of change just based on what they have to say?

00:17:18.267 --> 00:17:31.247
yeah, I'm sure, uh, I hate going like negative, like a tiny bit, but you know, I'm sure you have people talk about you behind your back or there's been like you know chatter at like clubs you know that you've been at in the past.

00:17:31.247 --> 00:17:35.994
How do you handle that professionally and maybe mentally and internally?

00:17:35.994 --> 00:17:56.809
Um, you know someone who doesn't I'm trying, I was trying to think of like someone who might not have the thick skin and just you know in it, you know whether they're young or old or whatever, but like, how do you handle that, I think a as a general manager and it being your club and their club, how do you, you respect those boundaries, so to speak, that like level of professionalism, when it's not there on both sides?

00:17:56.809 --> 00:17:59.836
And then how do you stay strong?

00:17:59.836 --> 00:18:02.769
How do you, you know, how do you also decompress?

00:18:04.811 --> 00:18:15.138
Yeah, well, for me, I always, you know, I've sort of figured out at a very young age like who I am, right, I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses.

00:18:15.138 --> 00:18:39.134
So if I ever get some sort of negative feedback that I know is unfounded, right, someone hits on something that I know is actually a strength of mine, right, and they're just sort of talking bad about me to talk bad about me, that I have to realize that's not about me, that's about them, and I am I'm very forward person, so I'm not above just sort of sitting someone down and saying hey, you know what can I do better?

00:18:39.375 --> 00:18:40.377
Right, I don't start with.

00:18:40.377 --> 00:18:43.795
I heard you were talking trapped about me, you know you're talking smack Yo.

00:18:45.125 --> 00:18:45.988
Yeah, no, it's it's.

00:18:45.988 --> 00:18:47.873
Sit that person down directly, Right, it's.

00:18:47.873 --> 00:18:50.688
Let me let me hear it whether it's a member, whether it's a staff member.

00:18:50.688 --> 00:18:52.332
You know, what is it you think?

00:18:52.332 --> 00:18:54.135
What is it you think I can do better at the club?

00:18:54.135 --> 00:18:57.954
I'm just wondering, you know, I'm just I'm always trying to improve, so what is it you think I can do better?

00:18:57.954 --> 00:19:00.605
And let them kind of put it in their own words.

00:19:00.605 --> 00:19:08.008
That usually flips the script pretty quickly, like when you call someone out on BS, like that it usually usually ends pretty quickly.

00:19:08.367 --> 00:19:09.249
I've had it the opposite way, though, too.

00:19:09.249 --> 00:19:11.291
I've had it the opposite way, though, too I've had.

00:19:11.291 --> 00:19:30.368
You know, when we get so busy and you're just, you know in it and you're going through the motions and you kind of forget to do the important things that you know you're good at as well, you know, I've had.

00:19:30.368 --> 00:19:39.346
I've heard people say oh, you know, I wish it was more like this, and in my head I'm will say hey, I heard you said this and I want to thank you because you're right, you know.

00:19:39.807 --> 00:19:42.194
That's the difference is you know what is the feedback?

00:19:42.194 --> 00:19:48.659
Is it spiteful and incorrect, or is it accurate and helpful and constructive, even if it's not said to you, right?

00:19:48.659 --> 00:19:59.335
So I'll sit someone down and I'll say you know, I know you didn't say it to me and I'm not trying to betray anyone's trust, but I just I want to thank you for saying it, because I forgot to see it and, and now that you mentioned it, you know I'm going to do better.

00:19:59.335 --> 00:20:06.990
And again, that it's not that you're taking the power away, it's it's you're taking the power back and saying, wow, you really helped me get back to who I knew I could be.

00:20:08.212 --> 00:20:11.978
Like you get, you get the good end.

00:20:11.978 --> 00:20:14.200
Like like you, you make sure on both.

00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:19.011
No, that's, that's, that's a goldie nuggie right Right there, yeah.

00:20:19.032 --> 00:20:19.673
Write that one down.

00:20:19.673 --> 00:20:20.214
That's a good one.

00:20:20.935 --> 00:20:22.479
For all you people driving, write it down.

00:20:22.479 --> 00:20:28.359
Yeah, that's one thing I'm very upset with is with Apple podcasts and and Spotify.

00:20:28.359 --> 00:20:33.992
Um, actually, cause, with audio books you can clip it and you can, you can make notes.

00:20:33.992 --> 00:20:35.924
Why can't you do that with podcasts?

00:20:35.924 --> 00:20:39.865
Why is there not like an area you can like make a note on your phone?

00:20:39.865 --> 00:20:41.147
I don't know.

00:20:41.548 --> 00:20:44.708
Anyway, that's just my sounds like something you need to invent, though you can retire.

00:20:46.523 --> 00:20:48.481
And then Apple's probably like already working on it.

00:20:48.481 --> 00:20:49.585
They just haven't like released it yet.

00:20:49.605 --> 00:20:56.119
They're waiting for like nine I mean they're listening, they're recording you right now oh, I know, oh, I know, see, these are actually.

00:20:57.542 --> 00:21:00.789
These are actually tin tinfoil lined uh headphones.

00:21:00.789 --> 00:21:01.892
It's like the new ways.

00:21:01.892 --> 00:21:03.882
You really can't see how crazy I really am.

00:21:03.882 --> 00:21:08.192
Uh, and on, our next episode of conspiracy theories is when we really hit hit home.

00:21:08.192 --> 00:21:13.788
So so, speaking of conspiracies is a hot dog a sandwich?

00:21:15.112 --> 00:21:19.708
Ooh well, can I answer it both ways?

00:21:19.708 --> 00:21:25.172
I would say a regular unsliced hot dog no.

00:21:25.172 --> 00:21:39.520
But when you slice it down the middle, like they do at some places in new york, and then you squish it in a bun, then it's a sandwich okay is cereal soup no, okay, no, I don't believe, justin.

00:21:39.520 --> 00:21:41.163
To be clear, gazpacho is not soup either.

00:21:41.163 --> 00:21:41.723
That is cold.

00:21:41.723 --> 00:21:43.205
It's like drinking salsa, salsa.

00:21:43.326 --> 00:21:56.448
That's different, different yeah, oh, um, all right, like I, I have like a weird like food, never mind, all right um yeah, I just ruined your whole day, you're welcome.

00:21:56.448 --> 00:22:02.829
And I'm going to mexico on sunday and that's all I've been thinking about is like salsa and margaritas.

00:22:02.829 --> 00:22:04.780
And now I'm gonna be like, oh, that's soup.

00:22:04.780 --> 00:22:06.883
Like just wow, it's just taking a shoot.

00:22:06.903 --> 00:22:08.925
It's been a while since I've ruined someone's vacation too.

00:22:08.925 --> 00:22:09.425
There you go.

00:22:09.425 --> 00:22:12.509
Glad I could help.

00:22:13.871 --> 00:22:14.451
Coke or Pepsi?

00:22:14.451 --> 00:22:24.269
Oh, coke, oh, thank goodness, okay, yeah, no, and I do want to touch on what you had a lot of good mentors.

00:22:24.269 --> 00:22:27.265
When we like first talked, we had a lot of good mentor stories.

00:22:27.265 --> 00:22:28.088
A lot of good mentors.

00:22:28.088 --> 00:22:38.464
When we first talked, we had a lot of good mentor stories and it's been so funny how it's become a very common thread in all of these conversations I've been having.

00:22:38.484 --> 00:22:40.588
When did mentorship start for you?

00:22:40.588 --> 00:22:41.810
When did it start?

00:22:41.810 --> 00:22:43.173
Who were some of the people?

00:22:43.173 --> 00:22:49.901
What were some of?

00:22:49.901 --> 00:22:51.987
Maybe just the one or two, just main things that just always like, click and resonate.

00:22:51.987 --> 00:22:52.789
Was it a word, was it a phrase?

00:22:52.789 --> 00:23:07.019
Because usually you know it, it it is a lot of things, but each person it's usually this like one or two, it's like it's their little, like, click, their little, you know, like light bulb moment, almost, um, but yeah, when, like, did you have good make?

00:23:07.019 --> 00:23:07.837
Did it start with ethan allen?

00:23:07.837 --> 00:23:08.069
Like, did you have good?

00:23:08.069 --> 00:23:09.055
Did it start with Ethan Allen?

00:23:09.055 --> 00:23:10.316
Like, did you have good mentors there?

00:23:10.316 --> 00:23:11.896
And with, like radio stuff, was it more?

00:23:11.896 --> 00:23:14.346
Once you got to clubs, what was the beginning of it?

00:23:15.307 --> 00:23:18.481
Yeah, I would say I I recognized it the most when I got to clubs.

00:23:18.481 --> 00:23:24.824
There was probably some prior to that, but uh, the most impactful ones for me were when I started at clubs, specifically sleepy hollow.

00:23:24.824 --> 00:23:31.574
Um, john Barish was my AGM and again he's the island general manager now at Gibson Island Club.

00:23:31.574 --> 00:23:32.780
Great guy, I mean.

00:23:32.780 --> 00:23:42.032
He had took so many students on, he had a great internship program and he was one of the ones that really he made me want to be a club manager.

00:23:42.881 --> 00:23:45.708
And from John, I mean it was, it was a look.

00:23:45.708 --> 00:23:55.385
Right, it wasn't a word, it was a look you could see, because John had ways of being stoic.

00:23:55.385 --> 00:23:56.949
God, I hope he hears this, this would be hysterical.

00:23:56.949 --> 00:24:05.614
You know he had ways of being stoic and you could see in John, with the arms crossed, the look and you see the like, worried, look like, oh God, look at John, something's wrong, like he's not going to tell you what it is, but something was wrong.

00:24:05.614 --> 00:24:07.915
Something's wrong, like he he's not going to tell you what it is, but something was wrong.

00:24:07.915 --> 00:24:09.076
And he kind of had, you know, that look.

00:24:09.076 --> 00:24:15.683
But the moment, you know, the arms were uncrossed and the hands were folded in front and he's looking around and he he would like not.

00:24:16.065 --> 00:24:18.672
He would like not in, in, like approval.

00:24:18.672 --> 00:24:20.464
I don't, I'm not sure if he knows he does it.

00:24:20.464 --> 00:24:31.345
That was the moment I was like, okay, we're good, we've done this correctly.

00:24:31.345 --> 00:24:32.632
So, but really he taught me so much about the club business.

00:24:32.632 --> 00:24:33.114
He was so great to me.

00:24:33.114 --> 00:24:36.103
He got me in CMA, which I didn't even know was a thing, I didn't know it existed.

00:24:36.103 --> 00:24:42.513
And you know, now I've been, you know, on boards of local chapters and everything, and I love it and I get everyone into it.

00:24:42.513 --> 00:24:46.564
He's really the reason I get everyone involved in CMA, because it makes such a difference.

00:24:46.564 --> 00:24:47.865
It was really because of him.

00:24:48.948 --> 00:24:49.729
But it didn't stop there.

00:24:49.729 --> 00:24:53.134
I had the next gentleman I worked for at Nassau Country Club.

00:24:53.134 --> 00:24:58.391
Tom was also the same way, but the same but different.

00:24:58.391 --> 00:25:04.005
You know, if that makes sense, tom very much was like you know, I got to take you to the basement.

00:25:04.005 --> 00:25:04.846
You got to look at the boiler.

00:25:04.846 --> 00:25:07.028
I'm like I don't want to look at the boiler, it's going to ruin my shoes.

00:25:07.028 --> 00:25:08.431
He's like come on, we're going to the basement.

00:25:08.431 --> 00:25:22.846
So we would go to the basement, we go to the roof to look at you know what's failing on the roof.

00:25:22.846 --> 00:25:23.688
I'm like, well, this is fun.

00:25:23.688 --> 00:25:24.328
Can we get down?

00:25:24.328 --> 00:25:24.409
Now?

00:25:24.409 --> 00:25:27.571
It's snowing, you know facility maintenance and um, and all that stuff.

00:25:27.571 --> 00:25:35.890
When I started as a GM which is something not a lot of GMs, first time GMs have Um, so really I got that great background from them and they both just believed in me so much and it was.

00:25:35.890 --> 00:25:37.821
It was incredible to have them both in my corner.

00:25:38.201 --> 00:25:42.287
No, that's, that's, that's really cool, really great, really powerful.

00:25:42.287 --> 00:25:51.782
Uh, this second one, john, cracks me up because it's, it's I could hear and probably think of some managers, some people going.

00:25:51.782 --> 00:25:52.986
Why would he?

00:25:52.986 --> 00:26:05.346
You know you have other people to do that, but it's if you don't at least get your feet wet a little bit and like look and peek and make sure you know you got to keep everybody on your toes and I believe you know you got to know well, at least to at least to get your.

00:26:05.346 --> 00:26:05.707
You know CCMs, you.

00:26:05.707 --> 00:26:07.229
You got to know well, at least at least to get your.

00:26:07.249 --> 00:26:07.869
You know ccm's you.

00:26:07.869 --> 00:26:09.752
You have to know more, you know than enough to be dangerous.

00:26:09.752 --> 00:26:16.941
But like it's knowing those like little things, and it's like when, like when those little like red flags go up, you can just like detect them quicker.

00:26:16.941 --> 00:26:18.709
You're like that doesn't seem right.

00:26:18.709 --> 00:26:19.372
What do you mean?

00:26:19.372 --> 00:26:23.063
Like I was just up there, like there's, no, there's no way that needs to be cleaned.

00:26:23.063 --> 00:26:28.532
Like you know just, you know people trying to, you know, pull a fast one on you or, you know, say something.

00:26:28.753 --> 00:26:33.566
Oh, exactly, but that's the thing about club management you have to know like a little bit about a lot of things.

00:26:33.885 --> 00:26:34.848
That's really what it is.

00:26:35.049 --> 00:26:36.071
You don't have to be an expert.

00:26:36.071 --> 00:26:39.641
You should hire experts, let them do their jobs, but you need to know a little bit about a lot.

00:26:40.642 --> 00:26:51.131
Especially with like interpersonal, like just knowing enough about each sport in each game and enough to how you, you can, you can say enough to let them go.

00:26:51.131 --> 00:26:52.511
Oh, I didn't know that they know.

00:26:52.511 --> 00:26:57.736
And then you can pivot that conversation really quick to something else, like so, you can't, you can't get stuck.

00:26:57.736 --> 00:26:59.176
That's, that's the trick.

00:26:59.176 --> 00:27:08.038
You can't try to sound like oh, and then they start having a conversation like oh no, I really know nothing about the Eagles.

00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:14.388
Yeah Well, my favorite actually so being a female club manager too, you know is when I can dazzle the finance guys with my finance knowledge.

00:27:14.388 --> 00:27:20.567
That's always my favorite when I'm talking about US Treasury rates and base points and everyone's like, oh wait a minute.

00:27:21.803 --> 00:27:22.686
She knows about the market.

00:27:23.903 --> 00:27:25.167
Yeah, that's my favorite.

00:27:25.167 --> 00:27:27.546
I mean, I literally have to pick the jaws up off the ground.

00:27:27.866 --> 00:27:30.413
It's pretty incredible no, that's another one.

00:27:30.413 --> 00:27:30.913
Tom taught me.

00:27:31.615 --> 00:27:32.178
Tom said that.

00:27:32.178 --> 00:27:34.542
He said always know your numbers, always know your numbers.

00:27:34.542 --> 00:27:36.287
That was another one I got from Tom.

00:27:36.287 --> 00:27:42.464
I can hear it in my head still now like spread.

00:27:42.464 --> 00:27:52.278
You give me a good spreadsheet and I'm like whoa, having a great time, no no, not gonna happen.

00:27:52.357 --> 00:27:53.881
Just the worst, just the worst.

00:27:53.901 --> 00:28:00.384
Maybe now you can make things like look nice, but I'm just uh yeah, oh, I can color code with the best of them, denny, don't you worry how are the pups?

00:28:00.384 --> 00:28:05.134
They're driving me nuts, they're okay.

00:28:05.134 --> 00:28:10.126
My wife's got this new thing where they're not allowed on the couch Right Cause it's like I'm not.

00:28:10.126 --> 00:28:11.289
She's like I'm sick of cleaning the couch.

00:28:11.289 --> 00:28:12.323
They're not allowed on the couch, I'm like.

00:28:12.323 --> 00:28:13.125
Then you tell them.

00:28:13.125 --> 00:28:15.461
I'm not taking that dog on the off the couch.

00:28:15.461 --> 00:28:16.701
Look at him, he's sleeping.

00:28:16.721 --> 00:28:17.163
He's snoring.

00:28:17.163 --> 00:28:17.923
He's having a great time.

00:28:17.963 --> 00:28:18.865
I'm not taking him off the couch.

00:28:18.865 --> 00:28:19.464
You, we have a ramp.

00:28:19.586 --> 00:28:20.967
There's stairs that go up to the couch, just for them.

00:28:20.967 --> 00:28:30.003
We have.

00:28:30.003 --> 00:28:31.710
We ended up ordering them from like Amazon.

00:28:31.710 --> 00:28:48.432
They're like these, like foam steps we got because Bella's 16 and we hate her like jumping even though she still does, but like they're everywhere and now, like now, she'll sometimes use them, Like oh, oh, she's a little bougie thing, so we have.

00:28:48.680 --> 00:28:55.184
I think we have the same ones at my house and my one dog, the youngest, who I'm not even sure if I didn't see a scan of it I wouldn't believe he had a brain.

00:28:55.184 --> 00:29:05.486
If we don't have them up against the couch, he'll walk up the stairs, like in the middle of the room, and just get stuck and he'll just start barking like someone needs to see, like I say.

00:29:05.486 --> 00:29:12.304
I'm like just please don't leave the stairs in the middle room because he'll climb the stairs to nowhere and he'll be stuck there for an hour.

00:29:12.304 --> 00:29:21.020
So dumb, so cute, so dumb, oh he's something that's amazing, though he's a little black and tan frenchie.

00:29:21.080 --> 00:29:21.981
Oh yeah, he's the cutest.

00:29:21.981 --> 00:29:24.746
Total moron, total moron.

00:29:24.746 --> 00:29:27.189
Yeah, I love it.

00:29:27.769 --> 00:29:28.912
Thank you so much for coming on.

00:29:28.912 --> 00:29:30.994
I really appreciate it, really really appreciate it yeah of course.

00:29:31.035 --> 00:29:31.855
Thank you for having me.

00:29:31.855 --> 00:29:33.065
I'm very happy to be here.

00:29:33.065 --> 00:29:35.167
If there's ever anything I can do you let me know.

00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:36.866
Hope you all enjoyed that episode.

00:29:36.866 --> 00:29:44.832
I know I did, dana.

00:29:44.832 --> 00:29:48.297
Thank you so much enjoying the content, make sure you like, share, subscribe.

00:29:48.297 --> 00:29:51.663
Anything you can do to help move the channel forward Means the absolute world.

00:29:51.663 --> 00:29:53.907
That's this episode.

00:29:53.907 --> 00:29:56.393
Until next time, catch y'all on the flippity flip.