Nov. 18, 2024
403: Reflect, Reset, Reimagine: Goal-Setting for 2025 w/ Sara Mueller
We’re thrilled to welcome back Sarah Mueller—bestselling author, speaker, and emotional intelligence coach—to help us finish the year strong and gear up for an amazing 2025. Sarah has worked with countless leaders and private clubs, sharing her expertise in emotional intelligence, leadership, and creating a life you truly love.
In this episode, she walks us through celebrating wins, learning from challenges, and setting bold, meaningful goals. You’ll hear her three essential questions for year-end reflection and discover why self-awareness and self-compassion are game-changers for growth.
Sarah’s practical wisdom and upbeat style will leave you inspired to reflect, recharge, and take on the new year with purpose. Plus, she’s offering listeners a free audio copy of her bestselling book, The Balanced Life Blueprint!
🎧 Don’t miss this chance to learn from one of the best—tune in now!
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Chapters
00:00 - Year-End Reflection and Goal Setting
12:31 - Moving Towards Excellence Through Reflection
16:18 - Reflecting on Challenges and Growth
29:15 - Creating Impact and Finding Fulfillment
Transcript
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Hey everybody, welcome to the Private Club Radio Show, where we give you the scoop on all things private golf and country clubs from mastering leadership and management, food and beverage excellence, member engagement secrets, board governance and everything in between, all while keeping it fun and light.
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Whether you're a club veteran just getting your feet wet or somewhere in the middle, you are in the right place.
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I'm your host, Denny Corby.
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Welcome to the show.
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In this episode, I am bringing back on a friend of ours here on the channel, Sarah Mueller, and she's an author and emotional, intelligent coach and she works with many, many clubs club personnel, leaders, managers both in-person trainings, there's leadership coaching, has a great book and at the end, if you listen, she gives a way for you to get the audio version of her book for free.
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But I wanted to bring her on and we're chatting in this episode about strategies for year end reflection and goal setting for 2025.
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And some highlights and things that you can take away from the episode are year-end reflections.
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Sarah's going to share a structured approach on how to reflect on the past year, identifying both achievements and challenges and, with this practice, help encourage us for more self-awareness and learning from experiences to kind of help shape our future.
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We're going to touch on emotional intelligence for professional growth and particularly self-awareness and self-compassion.
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We're going to talk about the three core questions for a solid year-end review.
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We're going to talk about goal setting and going beyond just resolutions, as well as some really good, strong nuggets on how to be an impactful leader.
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And make sure you listen to the end.
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She will share how to get the free audiobook version of her book, the Balanced Life Blueprint, which provides actionable strategies to apply these insights in your daily life.
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Before we get to the episode, if you have not signed up for our newsletter, make sure you sign up.
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Head on over to privateclubradiocom.
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It pops right up there for you after a couple seconds.
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Big thanks to some of our show partners Kenneth's member vetting, Golf Life Navigators and Concert Golf Partners, as well as myself, as myself, denny corby, the denny corby experience, the excitement, there's mystery.
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Also there's magic, my dream and comedy one of the most fun member event nights you will have guaranteed.
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If you want to learn more, head over to dennycorbycom.
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But right now, private club radio.
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But right now private club radio.
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But right now private club radio listeners.
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Let's welcome back to the show Our friend Sarah Mueller.
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But yeah, but I am.
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I'm excited to be here chatting with you.
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Sarah Mueller, author, speaker, coach.
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Um, what other amazing word can I use to describe you?
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Uh, but amazing mama, awesome friend, all kinds of all kinds of words.
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Yes, yes, and I'm thrilled to be on here chatting with you.
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You're a fan of the channel, friend of the channel.
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We have a great episode on here before and I want to bring you on because we're, you know, slowly.
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The year is coming to an end, it's going to be wrapping up soon and can you believe it?
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I know, I know I want to talk about how to properly reflect on the year, maybe how to like celebrate accomplishes, how to like look back and reflect on a year properly, and then how to how to move forward and how to set up success for the next year.
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And when I was thinking about this, I was like who am I going to bring on to talk about this?
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And I was like, oh, it has to be Sarah, and you sent me some stuff, so we have some questions to be had as well.
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So we're going to do a little little working together and if you're listening, you can work together as well, but I'm going to pass it over to you, Sarah.
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Okay, cool, and I do want to really encourage your listeners to do this work, to do some of the inquiry that we're going to go over together, because that is what causes change in our lives.
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We can keep going year after year.
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We can keep running on that hamster wheel of life, and if we don't make any shifts, if we don't pause to reflect and say, well, how are things going?
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Am I actually happy?
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Am I enjoying the direction that my life is going in?
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Nothing's going to change.
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We're going to keep getting, year after year, what we've already gotten, and so it is really important for us to pause and look at our personal life and our professional lives and our career and think about what it is that we want.
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And so I already know that you have sort of the you know the top 5% of people listening to your podcast, right, they're in this industry that is very demanding and requires excellence.
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They're listening to a podcast that's helping them to grow.
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And then, if we can actually put some of what we're talking about today into practice, that is the you know, the top percentage where we start to get some shifts and some change.
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So I'm really going to encourage your listeners to dive into what we talk about today and actually do the work, versus just hear about it.
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Let's do it.
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Okay, so do you want me to sort of walk through how I would structure this?
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I lead a best year ever kind of workshop and I bring some of this inquiry forward.
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Should I just kind of dive in and we'll do it together and see how that sounds?
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Okay.
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Awesome, okay.
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So when we are planning for a new year and I'm not a huge fan of New Year's resolutions and setting those goals for the New Year's because we know that, within a few weeks of the New Year coming, that most of us have already abandoned our New Year's resolutions However, the New Year is a really easy time for us to check in right.
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It's one of those hard time periods that says, okay, this is a time for change, and before we start creating what it is that we, that we think we want, we need first need to gather, gather data.
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And you know, the emotional intelligence is my, is my specialty, and what I focus on, and that first pillar of emotional intelligence is called self-awareness.
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And so, really, we need to understand ourselves.
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We need to look at our values, our strengths, our weaknesses, our patterns, our triggers, and decide what's working for us and what's not.
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And so, in order to do that, one of the exercises that I like to give my clients is really an exercise where we're looking back on the last year and we're making a list.
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So what you would do is you would just get a piece of paper and create a column, just draw a line down the center of the paper and then on the left-hand side of the column, is a chance to look back over your year and highlight some of those best moments that you had, highlight some of your favorite things that you did, highlight what you loved, and also highlight some of the hard parts, some of the stressful parts, some of the challenges that you went through, and also to look for things that you are most proud of over the last year.
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And so one of the easiest ways that I have found to do this is to really go back through my phone and I did this actually in preparation for our conversation today and just to look through, because, you know, first of all, being an emotional intelligence expert, we know that we want to lean into emotion for the teams that we lead and for ourselves, because it's emotion that really drives people.
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And so when we're looking at photos of our life, it's really creating an emotional experience, we're remembering those ups and those downs and it's bringing us back to that space.
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And so I recommend, if you're listening, to pause this video and go back and look at your phone.
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But, denny, I'm curious.
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You know for you what are, what are some of the things that come up when you're making this call and I know I'm just putting you right on the spot and you haven't had a chance to go through and look at all those pictures on your phone.
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But I'm curious what's what's coming up for you?
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Oh man, I don't like this one bit man, my face just got red.
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Oh, I can feel the pressure.
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Well, I'm happy to be the guinea pig too, but I'd love if you're willing to share.
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No, I think, ooh, this is tough.
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I think sticking with there's a few things.
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One, sticking with private club radio to do anything over and over and over again and to continuously put out content, as you can attest to, is very, very difficult.
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So you know the fact that I'm very proud that I continuously put out episodes and content and push for that, because sometimes it's not easy to do all that.
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Oddly happy, very accomplished for the segment I had on the Huckabee show, zero anything about politics, but it was a really cool trick and just a cool collab thing and it was just a really fun experience.
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So that was just fun.
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And then connecting with a friend of mine who I know through another thing down there, who came to see it was really cool.
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Just, you know, there's a lot of good travel.
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I'm going through photos now.
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This is funny.
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I got to travel to one of my favorite places, which is Louisiana.
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That's where I got some of my like career start in clubs.
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So anytime I can go back and just be down there and be with some of those people, new and old, I get to see my buddy Lee, lee Stahl.
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That just brings back like good.
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You know, it's just, it's like good, it's like, oh, it's like borderline therapeutic, like energizing, like, oh, like, and also like a way to like look back on, like how far we've come.
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I've come, we've come on like the whole world.
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It's a butterfly effect.
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No, yeah, I keep going, but I think that was a good.
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That was a good start.
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Yeah, I keep going, but I think that was a good start.
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Yeah, that's a great place to start, and so, essentially, when we're doing this exercise, what we want to do, we have this first column with what we're proud of, our highlights, the best parts and the challenges, and then the second column is our opportunity to gain the wisdom from this.
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So, rather than just diving into the new year and going forward, we really want to pause and learn and get as much gold as we can from our experiences this past year.
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So, for example, you mentioned that you are really proud of being able to consistently put out this great content for private club radio, even though it is difficult and it takes a big commitment.
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So if you were to put a learning around that, what would that learning be for you?
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put a learning around that.
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What would that learning be for you?
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Just send it.
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I think you know you, you strive for like the best and, like you know you, you nitpick on details and you know you do certain things.
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So I think, just you know, I forget, I think it may have been Dan Dan Martell or one of the other people that we were just talking about and consuming before I hit record, but it was like 80% is better than nothing, so it was just like, okay, hey is it 80?
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It's good, Like it's good enough.
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Now, Okay, done, you know, and it's yeah, so I think that was a big thing, is just like, okay, it might not be perfect, but you know, sometimes just putting out and just having and doing action and creating, you know, just doing putting things out.
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You know, sometimes at um, instead of spending another hour or two, however long, it is just like, oh, what if this is a little bit?
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Oh, you know, you just nitpick over everything.
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Just okay, Is it 80%?
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It's pretty much there.
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Good, All right, let's, let's roll.
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Um so what I'm hearing from you is this understanding that if striving for perfection is something that that you and I both can relate to you know, I mentioned to you before that I'm a recovering perfectionist, and I think that a lot of people in the private club space relate to this as well right, excellence is the minimum standard that's required in all of the all of the clubs, and so a lot of your listeners are probably can relate to this need for perfection, and what we are, and what you just spoke about, is the fact that it can hold us back.
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Right, if we continue perfecting and perfecting and perfecting, we're not going to ship the art, we're not going to publish the podcast.
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There's always something more to do.
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And so what I'm hearing you say is that you're moving towards excellence, you're you're doing and putting out the best content that you can, while understanding that your best is not perfection.
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Perfection doesn't exist and perfection is holding you back.
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Would that be accurate?
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Yeah, yeah, good, and so this is just an example.
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As we go down the line we're taking, we're gathering data, we're taking the wisdom from all of our experiences.
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We're gathering data, we're taking the wisdom from all of our experiences.
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I even was looking at my list and I launched my book earlier this year, and beyond all that that took to create for me, what I really learned from that experience is that there are so many people that love and support me, and I really got to see that in the launch of my book and having people review it and share it with their friends and family, and so that was a big learning that I'm taking with me now as I head into the new year, and even this past year, as I've gone through ups and downs and challenges and struggles, it's remembering that there's so many people that are there for me.
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That has helped me to get through, and so this exercise is looking at where's the wisdom from this?
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What can I learn from this?
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You know one thing that I wanted to ask you one more thing on your list, you mentioned the travels that you had and going back to Louisiana, and that you know, looking at how far we've come, what, what does that tell you about how you'd want to create your 2025, your next year?
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Um, probably doubling down more on relationships, because like that's where it started and it's like okay, and I think sometimes you know you get busy doing other stuff and it's like no, sometimes you got to go go back to basics almost, and it's like what does it boils down to?
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it boils down to like relationships, you know, fostering those relationships, harnessing those relationships and yeah, and that's great, and as we look at a lot of the data around happiness and having satisfaction in life, it really goes to those relationships that we have and then those experiences that we have, and so those are kind of two side notes that I always encourage people to think about when they are looking at their past year and they're beginning to plan for the new one is have I devoted enough time, have I invested enough time in my relationships, in creating experiences?
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One of the things that I learned from doing my two column list was that I didn't do a lot of travel this past year.
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I'm really a big traveler, but I had some other things going on this year and so my travel wasn't as extensive, and that made me really want to start planning for some more trips and vacations and adventures in 2025.
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But I recognize that I don't need to get on an airplane in order to have great experiences.
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There were some photos that I found on my phone with my boys and with my friends of local things that we did that really created lifelong memories in me.
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My youngest son was.
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We had a birthday party and he said he wanted to eat at the best steakhouse in the country and we couldn't take him to that one, but we did go to the best steakhouse in Naples and we had a three-hour dinner, you know, with an eight and a 10-year-old, and so that was my learning is that it doesn't need I don't need to make it so extravagant to have a great experience.
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I mean, a great steakhouse meal is it can be kind of extravagant, but you know there's different ways of looking at it.
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So that is, that is really the column exercise.
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You know.
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I think the important piece is to also look at where we struggled and where we had stress, because those are the things that we're quick to push under the rug, that we're quick to want to move over and gloss over.
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Those are the types of things that us, as leaders, you know, in the private club space, that we like to keep hidden.
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We don't want to put out our failures, we don't want to put out our mistakes, and really, what I teach in my emotional intelligence workshops with the leadership teams that I work with is when we're getting to become an inspirational leader, we're sort of leading from our heart, we're leading as a human, because people don't connect with the super successful person that only shows all of their successes and all of their wins.
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It's this leader that has been humbled, because they've been through life and they've learned so much and that's why they have so much wisdom.
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They're able to connect with their staff, connect with their employees and say, hey, I've made mistakes before, or hey, this didn't work out, but what we learned was this I made this mistake and this is what I now do differently.
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And when we're having what I call the tough love conversations with the leadership teams that I, that I work with and I train on, it's the this entering into a conversation with some of our challenges, with some of our mistakes and failures, to kind of say, hey, I've done it too.
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That helps to lower someone else's defenses so that you're able to have a you know a person to person conversation that allows for change, allows the person to not be so defensive and instead here what you have to say, so that they can begin to shift their behavior to be more productive within the club.
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Does that make sense?
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No, totally, I like that.
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Okay, cool, yeah.
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And so that's where really the wisdom of life comes from is when we look at those challenges.
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And so, you know, after we go through this column exercise, we're really just gathering data.
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We're starting to say, well, what happened this last year, what am I learning about myself?
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Because I need to understand myself in order to go forward with success.
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And then there's three questions that I always recommend asking, and I actually ask these to myself on a monthly basis, but definitely, you know, at the end of the year we want to look back and just say you know, number one how can I make my life more joyful and more fulfilling?
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And we don't often pause and ask that question.
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I mean, how often do you pause and say how can I bring more joy to my life?
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My business is named Joy Discovered and I have to put it in my calendar to remind myself to actually ask myself that question and go towards the joy.
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And I think this really comes back to what you and I spoke about on the first episode that I was with you, that so many of us are creating this life, that we're living for other people.
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We're doing what society has told us will make us happy.
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We're doing what our parents want us to do that will make them happy and be proud of us.
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And so when we're looking at, really, how can I bring more joy to my life, it's what really lights me up, what really makes me happy, you know, is this experience that I'm having at this club right now in line with my career goals?
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You know is it.
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Do I do I need more of a challenge, or am I at this stage in my life where it's good for me to have some more balance?
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Or am I ready to learn more?
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Am I ready to grow?
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Can I still make an impact here?
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You know, we're tapping into all these questions and figuring out what will be fulfilling and joyful for me, and this is also a good time to think about well, what do I not like doing that I'm spending my time on?
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What do I tolerate doing Because it just has to get done and this really goes to our conversation that you and I were having earlier around assistance and delegating and what we can do with those things that just have to get done that we tolerate.
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Well, we can say, well, how can I bring some more joy to this?
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So, you know, I've got to clean the kitchen afterwards after making dinner, right, unless I hire someone to do that right.
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That would be an option if that was in my budget, but if I'm the one that's cleaning my kitchen, it's like, okay, how can I bring some more joy to this?
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I could listen to one of your podcasts I.
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I could turn on some music.
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I could call a friend.
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So it's bringing that joy into those things that we just kind of have to do, that we tolerate, and then those things that we really hate doing.
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That's where we say, well, do I really need to do this?
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Am I doing this for me, or am I doing this for someone else's expectations of me?
00:19:18.454 --> 00:19:24.678
Or can I just delete this, or can I delegate this if this isn't something that I specifically have to do?
00:19:24.678 --> 00:19:28.390
And so I think that's a good way for us to check in regularly.
00:19:28.390 --> 00:19:33.162
Really, at the end of the year is we're starting to plan our new year going forward.
00:19:35.751 --> 00:19:36.394
This is really good.
00:19:36.394 --> 00:19:38.752
It's like one of those.
00:19:38.752 --> 00:19:42.653
Like I know it's recorded, but I'm still like taking notes Like I can't go back.
00:19:44.278 --> 00:19:52.612
Yes, yes, go back, yes, yes.
00:19:52.612 --> 00:19:57.105
And then you know the other question number two, if we're looking at these three essential questions, would be you know what is stressing me out and why.
00:19:57.105 --> 00:19:58.349
And so we're humans.
00:19:58.349 --> 00:19:59.993
Our life is going to be stressful.
00:19:59.993 --> 00:20:00.756
Some stress is good.
00:20:00.756 --> 00:20:02.280
It's what pushes us to high performance.
00:20:02.769 --> 00:20:07.663
But when we're in these deep levels of ongoing stress, obviously that's not fun for anyone.
00:20:07.663 --> 00:20:14.738
That doesn't bring a lot of joy, and so it's good for us just to look back and say, well, what is causing me stress and what can I do about it.
00:20:14.738 --> 00:20:16.682
Is there something that I need to let go of?
00:20:16.682 --> 00:20:18.575
Is there something that I need to get support on?
00:20:18.575 --> 00:20:19.759
Is there something I need to learn?
00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:25.215
And really, is there a coach I can hire or a therapist I can work with?
00:20:25.215 --> 00:20:27.880
Is there a new mentor that I need to ask for support from?
00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:29.422
What is stressing me out?
00:20:29.422 --> 00:20:33.814
Do I need to hire someone to fill this role that has been kind of been open in my club?
00:20:33.814 --> 00:20:36.000
That really needs a body in it right now?
00:20:36.280 --> 00:20:42.070
So, anything that allows us to just look back and say what is stressing me out and how can I begin to shift those things.
00:20:42.070 --> 00:20:49.064
And then the third question is really, what can I let go of?
00:20:49.064 --> 00:20:52.892
What can I let go of as I head into this new year?
00:20:52.892 --> 00:21:03.531
What can I let go of to allow joy and success in, because we are often blocking our success?
00:21:03.531 --> 00:21:12.920
So an example from what you and I were talking about earlier is I could let go of this need to be 100% perfect all the time and instead I could strive for excellence.
00:21:12.920 --> 00:21:21.207
Or I can let go of this need to do it all myself and instead I could hire an assistant to support me in different ways.
00:21:21.207 --> 00:21:30.663
So I want to just pause and see if you have any questions around those three questions that are great to ask ourselves towards the end of the year.
00:21:31.612 --> 00:21:32.615
No, those are fantastic.
00:21:33.309 --> 00:21:36.534
Yeah, and I think that there is.
00:21:36.534 --> 00:21:49.441
There's a level of compassion, of self-compassion, that we want to bring to this exercise as well, especially when we're looking at the things that stress us out or the challenges that we've faced in the year, and it's not.
00:21:49.441 --> 00:21:52.296
You know, we never want to go into something like this to beat ourselves up.
00:21:52.296 --> 00:21:57.215
We never want to go in and say, ah, you should have done better, right, of course we want to do better.
00:21:57.215 --> 00:21:58.238
Of course we want to learn.
00:21:58.238 --> 00:22:10.267
I know that anyone who's listening to this podcast right now is striving to be their best self or else they wouldn't be listening but it's going into some compassion, saying you know, I was doing the best I could with everything that I had at that moment.
00:22:10.267 --> 00:22:20.864
And instead of beating myself up, I'm going to take some wisdom, some learning from this experience and then move forward and start to create this new year for myself.
00:22:20.864 --> 00:22:29.161
And really, that leads then into well, what is it that I want to create in the new year?
00:22:29.161 --> 00:22:36.711
And I think about dreams and goals.
00:22:36.711 --> 00:22:50.634
And even though I said I wasn't a big proponent of New Year's resolutions, I do want to speak to this because I think that what I experience with anyone that I work with is we can all be a lot bigger in our dreams.
00:22:50.634 --> 00:22:58.489
We kind of limit ourself in what's possible because our brain is a pattern making machine.
00:22:58.489 --> 00:23:02.111
Our brain only knows what it's already experienced.
00:23:02.111 --> 00:23:10.903
And so when we are thinking about, well, what could I do in this new year, what can I bring forth, either personally or professionally, we're limited by our past experiences.
00:23:10.903 --> 00:23:23.768
And so when we're starting to think about, well, what are our dreams for the new year, we really want to put on that 10X or that bigger, badder, bolder hat and just see if this was extravagant, what would it look like?
00:23:23.768 --> 00:23:24.958
What would my life be like?
00:23:24.958 --> 00:23:38.503
Because we're usually aiming to the 1X, the 2X, the 3X, but there is so much more that's available for us and I've found myself getting out of the way, and letting the things surprise me has been great.
00:23:38.503 --> 00:23:46.486
So we have these bigger dreams that we start to envision for ourself and open up to, but then we also need to, of course, make them happen, right.
00:23:46.546 --> 00:23:55.127
So a goal, then, is a practical step, a tactical step towards achieving the dream, you know.
00:23:55.127 --> 00:24:02.804
So if my dream which is one of my dreams is to one day take my family on safari to Africa, I can dream that.
00:24:02.804 --> 00:24:05.086
But how do I get there?
00:24:05.086 --> 00:24:10.760
So it's going to cost money.
00:24:10.760 --> 00:24:13.516
So I'm going to have to figure out how I'm going to build up for that budget.
00:24:13.516 --> 00:24:14.940
It's going to be logistics.
00:24:14.940 --> 00:24:16.183
I'm going to have to learn about when to go.
00:24:16.183 --> 00:24:20.942
But those are all tactical things that I can start putting into goals.
00:24:20.942 --> 00:24:24.155
And so we align the goals with the bigger dreams that we have.
00:24:24.936 --> 00:24:37.448
And then what I think is really important for achieving goals is, first of all, there's a fun little fact that we know that just by writing a goal down, we're 42% more likely to achieve it.
00:24:37.448 --> 00:24:46.470
So doing this work gathering the data, getting clear, starting to write our goals down is already getting us further along the path because it's enhancing our brain.
00:24:46.470 --> 00:24:53.923
It's the reticular activating system of our brain is the part of the brain that filters all the data that's coming in at us at all the time.
00:24:53.923 --> 00:25:01.917
You know we have thousands and thousands and thousands of pieces of data coming in, and if we would consume all that data we would be just knocked down onto the floor.
00:25:01.917 --> 00:25:07.983
But the reticular activating system, the RAS, filter, sorts through all that data for what's important to us.
00:25:07.983 --> 00:25:17.251
And so when we write a goal down, when we do an exercise like this and get clear on what our intentions are, that RAS filter of our brain begins to spot the opportunities.
00:25:17.251 --> 00:25:25.339
So it might say, oh, here's a travel agency that specializes in taking families on safari.
00:25:25.339 --> 00:25:29.229
I might not have even noticed that ad or seen that video if I hadn't planted that seed right.
00:25:29.229 --> 00:25:34.817
And so our RAS filter begins to sort through the data and point out those solutions to the goals that we have.
00:25:36.121 --> 00:25:46.621
The other things that I want to mention that are really important for the goals is that it's more than just writing the goal, but it's about who do I need to become to achieve the goal.
00:25:46.621 --> 00:25:50.428
So I don't believe that we achieve goals.
00:25:50.428 --> 00:26:00.156
I mean, yes, yes, we do, but I really believe that what it is is that we grow into them, because if I'm going to achieve a goal that I've never achieved before, I'm not going to be the same person as I am right here right now.
00:26:00.156 --> 00:26:06.409
So I either need to learn something new or I need to think differently about that goal.
00:26:06.409 --> 00:26:07.680
Oftentimes it's both.
00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:13.548
So we want to look at our mindset and the skills that we need to achieve the goal.
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