Dec. 16, 2024
410: Lessons & Blessins w/ Passion Graham
Passion Graham returns to share her remarkable story of transformation sparked by profound personal challenges, including a stroke and her mother's accident. Her journey led her to reassess her life's purpose and establish Passionate Productions, redefining her understanding of leadership and self-care. Hear how stepping back empowered her team and allowed them to flourish in her absence, underscoring the true measure of impactful leadership.
We also delve into the universal theme of embracing failure as a catalyst for growth. Through personal tales of unspoken ideas and missed opportunities, we uncover the power of overcoming fear and taking risks. These stories highlight the importance of authenticity and visibility, especially for those who feel overlooked. By fostering an environment that encourages every voice, we can all contribute to a culture where everyone feels empowered to express themselves fully and thrive. Join us for a heartfelt conversation filled with laughter, insights, and the motivation to pursue your true calling.
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Chapters
00:00 - Passion Graham and Career Transition
16:35 - Embracing Failure for Growth
Transcript
WEBVTT
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Hey everybody, welcome to the Private Club Radio Show where we give you the scoop on all things private golf and country clubs from mastering leadership and management, food and beverage excellence, member engagement secrets, board governance and everything in between, all while keeping it fun and light.
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Whether you're a club veteran just getting your feet wet or somewhere in the middle, you are in the right place.
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I'm your host, denny Corby.
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Welcome to the show.
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In this episode I am thrilled to have on a dear, great friend, great person, great human being, a really, really, really good human, good, good human, great human, friend of mine, friend of yours, friend of the channel.
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We have Passion Graham back.
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If you don't know, passion, she is a force of.
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A series of life-altering events pushed her to re-evaluate some things and, from her health to her purpose, how she's turned those challenges into a thriving business that's empowering club professionals all over.
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Very, very fortunate to say she had a launch party for her brand new business a few weeks ago.
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Very fortunate to have been asked to go emcee and perform a little bit and it was so much fun.
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She knows how to throw an event.
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She knows how to put on a party.
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I will tell you that.
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But really seeing the joy in the life in that she brings to her work, to her clients, to her events, even when it's her own, and it's always a blast when our paths cross.
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This episode has a ton of laughs, some heartfelt moments and some insights in this episode that are really, really good.
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So, as always, I'm excited for this one.
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Before we get to it quick, thank you to some of our show partners, concert golf partners, canis, member vetting and golf life navigators and myself, the Denny Corby experience.
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There's excitement, there's mystery.
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Also there's magic One of the most fun member event nights you will have guaranteed.
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Make sure you sign up for our newsletter because, coming out soon, we're going to be releasing our club entertainment guide, the ultimate club entertainment guide, and people who subscribe to the newsletter get first dibs.
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So, without further ado, let's welcome back to the show.
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The marvelous Passion, graham, I heard.
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I heard you're working with Eddie, eddie Ronan soon.
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I heard you're working with Eddie Ronan soon.
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Yes, yes, I am.
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So I will be doing his leadership, his team's leadership, down in Florida.
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Very excited about that, I'm also doing some coaching with one of his teammates and that's going really well.
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That's cool.
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Yeah, just busy, well, so what has been going on with you?
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What's been going on?
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Tell us about this change, tell us about us, me, whatever.
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I hate to sound so formal, but like, no, like.
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So what got you to here now?
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Because I think the last time we talked it was what got us to that place and all that was entailed.
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And then now you're on this amazing new path venture and what, what, what's going on now.
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So so, so, what, what happened?
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What, what, what got you?
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to leave.
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I I actually look at it as not me leaving, more so me coming home to myself and coming home to my true purpose and calling within this space, and that's what that's what passionate productions is.
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It's not, it's not me leaving, it's me truly coming home and leaving was probably the wrong word, that was just the one that popped out of my head, but so so what, what?
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What helped you find that calling what?
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What was the turning point?
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What was that pivot point?
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Yeah, so there were several um, starting January one, I actually had a stroke and I was on the last time we spoke.
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I was on a little bit of a like in the midst of a two week leave that I didn't realize was going to kind of snowball into this awakening, if you will.
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But yeah, so I had a stroke and still, all right, had a stroke, let's do what we need to do, Get back to work, because that's the mindset right.
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I'm in this success cycle which a lot of high achievers find themselves in, and you're young.
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Yeah, we just celebrated your birthday Like this is Ooh, you got me thinking now, cause we're we're like close in age, I don't like this, oh boy, okay.
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But yeah, and so went back to work after a couple of weeks off and then was still suffering from extremely high blood pressure that was brought on by a lot of stress and really not allowing the cortisol levels and just my stress to ever go down, because it's always let's look for the next thing, the next thing, the next thing.
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And then my mom ended up having an accident and I was forced to then be out of work for three months on FMA leave with her.
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That time and that white space that I was given was the most time out of work that I've had since I was 14 years old, and it was an awakening in so many levels.
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So, and it was really hard, let me let me also say that not in that I made the decision to be there for my mom, because would absolutely do that, without question, but it was an ego check, because I always looked at myself as I'm the champion, I'm the leader, I have to be there for my team, I have to be there for my club.
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How, during the busiest season, when we have back-to-back weddings, we have Easter and Mother's Day am I not going to be here?
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How is the club going to go on?
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Well, guess what they did, and they did well, and my team was able to elevate in ways that I didn't even know was possible for them to be able to do.
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And I think about a quote that Mr D says a lot Damon DiIorio, and the true sign of a good leader is not how your team performs when you're there, but how they perform when you're not there.
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Right, and so I knew that my team was set up with the systems and processes in order to perform, and so that's where it was an ego check for me, in that, yeah, you don't have to be there at all times.
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And I was also able to see my team rise to the occasion and where it's like you know what, the house committee can be run by Stormy and he'll do a good job at that and so giving them opportunities to lead in ways that they wouldn't have had that opportunity had I still been there, and so that was a piece of it.
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Then also doing a lot of introspection during that time, a lot of reflecting and realizing that maybe day-to-day operations really wasn't what I needed to be doing, and as I was going through therapy at this time as well and finding out some things about myself, I realized that I show up in a lot of ways, that individuals around me show up, and, as I was finding out, hey, there's a different way of doing it.
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I want to share this with everyone because we don't have to work ourselves to death Actually, we shouldn't work ourselves to death and so I began doing a lot of journaling and even going on TikTok and finding that as an outlet, and I started doing this thing called Passion to Purpose, and that ultimately evolved into Passionate Productions, long story long.
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Amazing.
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It's to me that must feel how Ed Roden feels, because that dude, just like I, was just.
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I chatted with him last week, thursday or something, wednesday, I don't remember and it was just he's like, oh, i'm'm in my wood shop, but he's giving me a tour.
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I'm like what, what is even going on here?
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He's like, yeah, he's like I'll be back in the club next year and I was just like or or wherever in the world, like he is the club industries.
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Waldo, like where is he?
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or or carmen san diego, like it's yeah yeah, he's, he's, he's, he's bonkers, he's, he's, he's bonkers but living his best life and to be able to work with him and his team and do some fun like that.
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That must be so cool too.
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Um, it's probably be one of those where, like you've probably done some events where it feels like it's just like a lot of like one way you know, like where, like you're giving, but I think it's one of those like you're gonna get something from it too.
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Like you're gonna, he's gonna say some one thing to you and you'll be like that.
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That was good that was good drop.
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Yeah, so what are you doing with Passionate Productions?
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What exactly is it?
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What do you got cooking?
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How are you helping people?
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How are you helping clubs?
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Yeah.
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So Passionate Productions is truly my offering to the industry.
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It is my way to be of service to the industry at large.
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Our mission, our vision, is to set club professionals on a track to where they are putting themselves over service in a way that you know may initially seem a bit counterintuitive, because we always put service before self.
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But understanding that once you put yourself first, that it's also about self-preservation and in that you're able to give so much more when you give to yourself first.
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So when you think about the heart, which is literally one of the most vital pieces of the human body, it pumps blood to itself first, right.
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And so that is truly my heart's offering to this industry and to the individuals who make up this industry, because I feel like for so long we've been doing it backwards and this new generation that's coming in that's saying hey, we want work-life harmony, we want to be able to do it at a higher level, but not the way you old guys have been doing it.
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I believe that I am at a beautiful crossroads to where I'm kind of in the middle of those two sectors those two sectors and because of the things that have happened to me over the course of my career and my life most recently that I am able to offer this and because I've been in clubs where we've operated at very high levels, and you know, for example, desert Mountain.
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We did over 3,000 events a year and we had to have all of those events completely mapped out at the beginning of the year because most of our members, desert Mountain was their second or their third homes, right and so, in order, to map out all of those events, be able to have it to where we present it to them and they could put it on their calendars.
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We had to have systems in place and they could put it on their calendars.
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We had to have systems in place.
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We had to have processes where we were organized to an extreme level, but everyone doesn't have that.
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So why not be able to reach out to other industry folks and say, hey, here's the secret sauce, here's how we can do it in a way to where you're not always running after the eight ball.
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We can do it in a way to where you're not always running after the eight ball, working yourself to death.
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And here's how you can figure it out and have that work life harmony that you so desire.
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Wow, I did 3,000 events a year.
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Yeah, yeah, and I did not even think about that.
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So I was thinking selfishly from the staff's point of view.
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But you guys went deeper.
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It's no, we have to think about our members.
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I didn't even wow, that is such deep thinking.
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Yeah, because so oftentimes and what I'm learning on this journey and reaching out to other directors of catering and events.
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A lot of clubs are, you know, putting events out to their members a month or 60 days out.
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Our members are really important people who travel the world, and so they're not planning their calendars 30 to 60 days out, they're planning it a year, a year and six months out, right out.
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They're planning it a year, a year and six months out, right?
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And so, in order to really get on their calendar and to make your events ones that they want to attend, you got to put it out ahead of time.
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Right Because they're that far in advance.
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And to play devil's advocate a little bit.
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You know, there probably are some clubs that are, you know, and we've all been to them, I've been to them where they are a little bit more homey, like they understand their base.
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And you know that might not be for everybody, but at least I think, probably, to play on your point too it's at least All right.
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Maybe October's, you know, humor, humor month, and that's when they have the comedy night and this night in September, ok, we're going to have this, we're going gonna have some sort of band music.
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We don't know what the theme is gonna be yet, but at least they're planning, they're setting, they're planting the seeds.
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Yes, yeah, yeah, that's that's.
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That is good, yeah, that is good.
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Where now?
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And what?
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What I enjoy too, about what you have to offer as well as you've walked the walk and talk the talk like you've, like you've built.
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It's not just like, oh, I just found my way into clubs because I, you know, yeah, whatever, like you've.
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Like you've built.
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It's not just like, oh, I just found my way into clubs because I, you know, yeah, whatever, like you, like man, you started start from the bottom.
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Now you're here like legit the song, like you were what it was.
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It was mcdonald's at 14 yeah and then and then, when'd you find clubs?
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I found clubs actually in the end of 2013,.
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Going into 2014 is when I started my career at clubs and even with that, started from the bottom.
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So I, because I had never worked in clubs before and I wanted to start at Charlotte Country Club, I was told hey, we have a server position for you.
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And that was a bit of a gut punch.
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However, I knew me and I knew that this was what I wanted, and so I started as a server and worked my way up.
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I made a lot of lateral moves, but even that you know, I always say that my career was more of a lattice as opposed to a ladder, but it all informed every experience and truly makes passionate productions what it is.
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It truly makes me who I am and the fact that I am able to coach from a place of compassion, a coach from a place of truly knowing the experiences that that people are going through, because I have actually been there.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's a great place to be.
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I went to school at 33 and was probably the oldest intern, and actually I was the oldest intern in Charlotte Country Club history.
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But I mean mean again, it informed my decisions right and and it informs my ability to be able to to talk to students and interns today that is the title of the episode, the oldest intern ever no I love it what, looking back you're you know, to your you, your server self at the first club, or back to being the oldest intern, knowing what you know now, what would you tell yourself?
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The one thing that I would tell myself is it's okay to make a mistake.
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Do not allow yourself to be stagnated or to be stifled by your fear of failure.
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It's all lessons and blessings, baby girl Like make a mistake, learn the lesson and keep it pushing.
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And what types of mistakes are we talking Cause?
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I'm asking this from a place of cause.
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I think people say, like it's okay to fail, so in like a club position, like do you have any examples?
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Like what do you mean?
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Like what are some examples that you can maybe give, where?
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Like oh, like, maybe like taking that extra step, taking a step out on the limb, like what are some of those failures?
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Or do you have any that you can share?
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Or do you have any that you can share?
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So one thing that I would find myself doing a lot is not raising my hand in a meeting to speak up, and then someone else would say the thing that I was thinking.
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I was like, oh, that was great, you should have, oh, that was stupid, or maybe wasn't going to get that response.
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There would be an idea for an event or for something that we could do to elevate the member experience that I wouldn't put ahead.
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And I think about the opportunities where, if I would have done that and someone else would have seen me do that, then guess what that would have granted them permission to speak up.
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Right, because people believe they can be what they see.
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Right, because people believe they can be what they see.
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And that's kind of the biggest part of my platform and the biggest part of my motivation at this point is to allow other people the freedom to be who they really are and to do so authentically, because it's not very often that you see someone who looks like me in this space just living their best life.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, no, that's.
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That's what did someone say to me once.
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Because like it's one of those like I know, for the most part, something, most of the stuff that's coming out of my mouth is going to be dumb and I was like, and I'll be like dumb, dumb question.
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And someone was like there's no dumb questions, just dumb people.
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And I was like, oh yeah, of course, but it went, it went right over my head, like I did not even take it as like the insult.
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I was like, oh yeah, of course.
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Yeah, and then just continue it on.
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And I was like, looking back, I'm like, oh okay, but no, no, so what what does a?
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what does a coach?
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You, you brought up, you know the coaching a couple of times.
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What does that look like?
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What does coaching look like?
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So I have actually coined the term coach Sultan.
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So a little bit of coaching and consulting.
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So I have had the privilege of working with a couple of clubs and really going in and immersing myself into the team.
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Myself and my teammates will go in and have one-on-ones with teammates, have group sessions and then once we truly have an understanding and individuals know well one we come from the same place that you do and this is a safe space to share truly how you're feeling, because it's not just about coming in and giving these systems and these processes and here's a checklist for how you can make this better but it's really about the individual and then how that individual plays into the team and then how the team plays into the culture.
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Right.
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So coaching from the inside out and because it's truly an inside job, and so that's really the biggest thing, and how we approach consulting a little bit differently than I say is the traditional path of it.
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Does that make sense?
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Yeah, what have some of the clubs that you've worked with already?
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Has there been like sort of a common theme issue, kind of little hiccup, little knot in the wood?
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I don't know if we're talking about Ed Rononan, like woodworking, I don't know.
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Is there any like has there been?
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Have you seen, from your point of view, like, oh, like, this is usually like, or this is like a like a hot thing right now, like a hot topic or thing people are focusing on?
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the one biggest, and it's not.
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This is not going to be an aha, it's really going to be a, of course.
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Course it is.
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It is communication, communication and lack thereof.
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There are so many times where individuals can, leaders cannot effectively or don't effectively communicate because they assume the team knows, they assume well, I know, like of course my team knows, and then, because things haven't been effectively communicated, people are going to make up stories in their mind of well, they didn't say this to me or they didn't do this, and then that story then begins to compound with other things and it shows up in ways that could truly be detrimental to the operation and to the culture of the team, when, if we just effectively communicated in the beginning, we all would have been fine.
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But communication, even for those of us who believe that we are effective communicators, it's not a destination.
00:22:22.346 --> 00:22:23.516
Effective communication is not a destination.
00:22:23.516 --> 00:22:31.363
Effective communication is not a destination, it is a continuous journey, and so that's really the biggest thing.
00:22:31.844 --> 00:22:43.165
Can you share any tips or tricks or communication hacks, whatever you like to speak, anything that any cool takeaways that you can share, that you share with your clubs and clients, that you can share, that you share with your clubs and clients?
00:22:43.926 --> 00:22:45.107
Yeah, absolutely.
00:22:45.107 --> 00:22:46.509
So.
00:22:46.509 --> 00:22:52.615
The biggest thing is, if you see something, if you feel something, say something.
00:22:52.615 --> 00:23:10.891
Because if you have that question, if you noticed that interaction wasn't as copacetic as maybe it should have been like first, no one comes to work every day thinking I'm going to ensure that Denny has a bad day at work today.
00:23:10.891 --> 00:23:19.549
I'm going to go to work today, especially in the hospitality and luxury hospitality space, to ensure that Denny has a bad day.
00:23:19.961 --> 00:23:38.608
And so if something happens where I offend you, unbeknownst to myself, hey, pull me to the side and say hey, do you realize that that maybe didn't come out how you thought it did, or what were you really trying to say?
00:23:38.608 --> 00:23:44.909
And then let's go to Denny and say hey, denny, my apologies.
00:23:44.909 --> 00:23:52.851
I realize it was actually brought to my attention that you know I said something that may have come across or didn't hit the way that I expected it to.
00:23:52.851 --> 00:23:59.619
My apologies, because those are the small minute things that then will build and compound.
00:23:59.619 --> 00:24:13.060
To have a blow up or for you to not have my back on the floor a little bit later when I'm getting double or triple sat and it's like well, denny was right there and he didn't have a table.
00:24:13.060 --> 00:24:14.103
Why didn't he come and help.
00:24:14.103 --> 00:24:26.866
And so it's those little things that, yeah, it then begin to ultimately impact the, the culture of a team and I'm sure that helps uncover the other, because I'm sure there's probably other underlying issues at that point.
00:24:27.789 --> 00:24:27.890
Oh.
00:24:28.681 --> 00:24:40.605
Then it helps uncover some of those, because it probably leads to one common thing, which is probably staffing and training, which is probably a whole other different issue in itself Any others.
00:24:43.584 --> 00:24:53.173
I would say any others being open and transparent and vulnerable as a leader.
00:24:53.173 --> 00:25:05.373
A story that I will share personally is about, I would say, maybe about a year or so ago now.
00:25:05.373 --> 00:25:23.913
It was before I was diagnosed with anxiety, so I didn't know that I actually was suffering from anxiety, but I knew that I was starting to have some issues at times where I wasn't able to always show up as my best self.
00:25:23.913 --> 00:25:44.730
And this one day in particular, we were getting ready to go into lineup and, as I'm getting the team riled up because I always feel like all right lineups are so important, because that's my opportunity to infuse my team with education, motivation and inspiration before they head out onto the floor.
00:25:45.260 --> 00:25:54.005
But this day we're starting lineup and I just didn't have it and I couldn't, for the life of me, just could not, pull it up out of me.
00:25:54.005 --> 00:26:03.428
And so I had a moment and I said, team, today I cannot be your fearless leader Like.
00:26:03.428 --> 00:26:15.925
I am going to be on the floor with you, I will bus tables, I will do whatever I can, but as far as like really showing up for you, like today, I'm going to need to pull some energy from you all.
00:26:15.925 --> 00:26:25.574
I can't give my energy to y'all because I just don't have it, and it was a really tough moment for me, but I didn't know what else to do in that moment.
00:26:26.519 --> 00:26:33.253
And my team, just like clockwork, the chef came down, they went into the features of the day.
00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:47.780
Then the team went ahead and started talking about because we had a new wine list and it was what we had been talking about the entire week, because we have focuses of the week, and so they were talking about different things that they had learned throughout the week.
00:26:48.442 --> 00:27:37.593
And before lineup was over, I had one teammate, aiden, who said how proud of me he was in that moment, because my doing that allowed them to know that I was not perfect, because in their minds they thought, man, I can never be that great, because I don't come in happy and jovial every single day like passion does, but by me showing them that vulnerability in that moment, it allowed them to then rise to the occasion and to show up in ways again that I didn't know was possible, and that they saw me as more human and allowed them to show up better, and that felt so good, and it was one of one of the greatest services that we had that evening.
00:27:37.593 --> 00:27:52.201
And so, yeah, being vulnerable in front of your team and when you don't have it of being vulnerable in front of your team and when you don't have it, showing them that humility and then, yeah, just creating the safe space for them to do the same.
00:27:52.623 --> 00:27:53.984
Yeah, thanks for sharing.
00:27:53.984 --> 00:27:54.846
That's a really good story.
00:27:54.846 --> 00:27:58.051
Wow Thanks, that's cool.
00:27:58.973 --> 00:27:59.454
Thanks.
00:27:59.454 --> 00:28:01.886
You really pull it out of people.
00:28:02.019 --> 00:28:03.709
I wasn't expecting us to go here.
00:28:03.729 --> 00:28:04.211
Me neither.
00:28:04.451 --> 00:28:04.934
It just happened.
00:28:04.934 --> 00:28:07.000
I wasn't expecting us to go here, me neither.
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:09.505
It just happened, I don't know.
00:28:09.505 --> 00:28:17.134
This is karma, because Sarah Mueller made me uncomfortable, so now I'm like I'm giving it back full force to everybody who's coming on the show.
00:28:17.134 --> 00:28:18.455
I don't like this.
00:28:18.455 --> 00:28:20.636
Someone commented to me.
00:28:20.636 --> 00:28:22.218
They were like she caught you up there.
00:28:22.218 --> 00:28:31.009
Yeah, there we go, um, but yeah, so, um.
00:28:31.009 --> 00:28:32.332
So what, what?
00:28:32.332 --> 00:28:34.295
What have you been speaking with groups about?
00:28:34.295 --> 00:28:36.505
Cause, I know you, you got some speaking stuff coming up.
00:28:36.505 --> 00:28:39.942
Um, I got some, yeah, so it's just uh, what, what?
00:28:39.942 --> 00:28:40.483
What are you?
00:28:40.483 --> 00:28:41.567
What are you speaking with?
00:28:41.567 --> 00:28:42.720
What are you working with the groups with?
00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:44.522
What are your programs look like?
00:28:44.522 --> 00:28:45.263
You know, what do you?
00:28:45.263 --> 00:28:46.105
What are your?
00:28:46.105 --> 00:28:47.205
What are the topics?
00:28:47.365 --> 00:28:56.076
Yeah, so the basic framework of everything that we do on the foundation of it is the passion framework.
00:28:56.076 --> 00:29:04.875
So the passion framework purpose, accountability, self over service, innovation, objective and nobility.
00:29:04.875 --> 00:29:12.400
And so we can build whatever type of programming from that basic foundation that your team needs and desires.
00:29:12.400 --> 00:29:23.096
And so, for instance, I spoke at the Golden State Chapter Fall Conference and their kind of overarching theme was interpersonal skills.
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