Feb. 24, 2025

425: Building Successful Clubs Through Emotional Intelligence w/ Geoff Piva, CCM

Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
Amazon Music podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
RSS Feed podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Amazon Music podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon

This episode focuses on how emotional intelligence can redefine leadership within club management. Geoff Piva shares his personal journey and insights on navigating crises, the importance of mentorship, maintaining work-life balance, and leading with empathy. 

• Exploring the role of emotional intelligence in club management 
• Lessons learned during the COVID-19 crisis 
• Transforming Needham Golf Club through innovation and member engagement 
• The impact of mentorship on professional growth 
• Finding work-life balance in a demanding environment 
• Emphasizing the importance of empathy and communication in leadership 
• Adopting stoicism to guide leadership practices 

Geoff Piva encourages listeners to strive for 1% improvement every day in their personal and professional lives.

Follow us on the socials

Private Club Radio Instagram
Private Club Radio Linkedin

Denny Corby Instagram
Denny Corby Linkedin

Chapters

00:00 - Private Club Business Expansion Plans

10:40 - Journey Through Club Management Industry

26:08 - Finding the Right Club Fit

32:52 - Club Managers' Struggles and Support

41:43 - Personal Growth Through Coaching and Therapy

50:51 - Stoic Management and Personal Growth

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:14.683
Hey everybody, welcome to the Private Club Radio Show, where we give you the scoop on all things private golf and country clubs From mastering, leadership and management, food and beverage excellence, member engagement secrets, board governance and everything in between, all while keeping it fun and light.

00:00:14.683 --> 00:00:20.362
Whether you're a club veteran just getting your feet wet or somewhere in the middle, you are in the right place.

00:00:20.362 --> 00:00:22.085
I'm your host, denny Corby.

00:00:22.085 --> 00:00:23.588
Welcome to the show.

00:00:23.588 --> 00:00:34.173
In this episode I am chatting with a very good human, a very good friend of myself of the industry.

00:00:34.173 --> 00:00:45.055
He's a club manager and a podcast host himself Jeffrey Piva Joffrey, as I like to call him, joffrey, but we have Jeff Piva.

00:00:45.055 --> 00:00:48.881
Joffrey, as I like to call him, joffrey, but we have Jeff Piva.

00:00:48.881 --> 00:00:50.944
It cannot be more excited to have him on.

00:00:51.625 --> 00:00:59.834
He is the host of his own podcast, the Club Manager's Journal, where he dives into what it's like the day-to-day of being a club manager.

00:00:59.834 --> 00:01:01.975
Highly recommend you check it out.

00:01:01.975 --> 00:01:09.609
But, as you know, being a club leader just isn't about F&B numbers or tournament schedules.

00:01:09.609 --> 00:01:11.359
It's about understanding people, your members, your team, your board.

00:01:11.359 --> 00:01:21.540
And Jeff has made emotional intelligence his secret weapon at Needham Golf Club and in this episode he shares how it's changed, the way he has led Now.

00:01:21.540 --> 00:01:23.808
He didn't have a traditional path into club management.

00:01:23.808 --> 00:01:31.069
He started caddying at 12, worked his way through the golf shop tournament sales operations and eventually stepped into leadership.

00:01:31.069 --> 00:01:38.007
Now he's using everything he learned along the way to create a culture where both members and staff feel truly valued.

00:01:38.007 --> 00:01:44.612
So in the episode we dive into how EQ changes the way club managers build relationships.

00:01:44.612 --> 00:01:47.164
Episode we dive into how EQ changes the way club managers build relationships.

00:01:47.164 --> 00:01:51.253
We talk about lessons from crisis management, because running a club during COVID was a whole different ballgame.

00:01:51.253 --> 00:01:57.521
How he took Needham Golf Club from a struggling dining club to a thriving, golf-focused private club.

00:01:57.521 --> 00:02:02.643
And we also talk about the power of mentorship and why club managers should always be learning from each other.

00:02:03.506 --> 00:02:05.430
This is a fantastic episode.

00:02:05.430 --> 00:02:06.766
Cannot wait to dive in.

00:02:06.766 --> 00:02:08.927
I am stoked to have Jeff on.

00:02:08.927 --> 00:02:12.169
Before we do, a quick thank you to some of our show partners.

00:02:12.169 --> 00:02:18.723
We have our friends, members First, concert Golf Partners and Kenneth's Member Vetting, as well as myself.

00:02:18.723 --> 00:02:21.170
Denny Corby, the Denny Corby Experience.

00:02:21.170 --> 00:02:23.104
There's excitement, there's mystery.

00:02:23.104 --> 00:02:25.110
Also there's magic, mind reading and comedy.

00:02:25.110 --> 00:02:31.151
One of the most fun, engaging and interactive evenings your club can have guaranteed.

00:02:31.151 --> 00:02:33.362
Check it out, denny Corby dot com.

00:02:33.362 --> 00:02:35.628
But enough about that, let's get to the episode.

00:02:35.628 --> 00:02:36.852
Private Club Radio.

00:02:36.852 --> 00:02:40.705
Give a big warm welcome To Jeff Piva.

00:02:40.705 --> 00:02:42.586
How long does your club close for?

00:02:46.199 --> 00:02:49.056
So we usually close right before Christmas and we reopened the first week of March, so it's really January and February.

00:02:49.296 --> 00:02:50.461
Yeah, that's not too bad.

00:02:50.842 --> 00:02:52.366
Next year we're going to be open all year.

00:02:52.366 --> 00:02:55.925
I think Really we're going to get two simulators for the function room.

00:02:55.925 --> 00:03:05.973
Put the simulators in right in the middle of December and let everybody go to town until middle March, and then, and then, and then we'll have the, then we'll have the grow room open.

00:03:06.193 --> 00:03:08.305
Yeah, and now is that what the members wanted?

00:03:08.305 --> 00:03:09.108
Like, is that like what?

00:03:09.108 --> 00:03:11.006
What consensus was kind of going for.

00:03:11.728 --> 00:03:14.986
Yeah, they want it, and I have to figure out how to pay for it all.

00:03:14.986 --> 00:03:24.152
That's my job, but they want it, they, they want it, it, and I think we didn't have that demand a few years ago, but now we do.

00:03:24.152 --> 00:03:28.020
So now people are now.

00:03:28.020 --> 00:03:29.045
People are like well, when are we going to be open?

00:03:29.045 --> 00:03:29.628
When are we going to be open?

00:03:29.628 --> 00:03:30.312
And it's like it's not that easy.

00:03:30.312 --> 00:03:46.540
It's not just like flipping a switch and being open, like we shut the entire place down, so it's like the kitchen is shut off, like there's no food in the building, Like it's.

00:03:46.540 --> 00:03:46.741
It's that.

00:03:46.762 --> 00:03:48.388
Yeah, it's like that's what you do when you shut down for 75 days.

00:03:48.388 --> 00:03:49.412
You have to take everything out deep clean.

00:03:49.412 --> 00:03:49.973
Everything's deep cleaned.

00:03:49.973 --> 00:03:50.616
You have to do all those things.

00:03:50.616 --> 00:03:51.479
So if you stay open, you can't do that.

00:03:51.479 --> 00:03:53.865
You have to stay open and you have to constantly be moving.

00:03:53.865 --> 00:04:00.287
All the people that are hourly are furloughed.

00:04:00.287 --> 00:04:01.248
This happens every year.

00:04:01.248 --> 00:04:08.451
They collect unemployment for a couple months and then they come back in March and in March we're really only open a few nights a week and then we do functions.

00:04:08.451 --> 00:04:13.111
So, yeah, there's a lot to stay open.

00:04:13.111 --> 00:04:16.471
There's a lot of stuff to do and a lot of ways to.

00:04:16.471 --> 00:04:23.348
You know a lot of things we'd have to change with the way we're set up, and having simulators would just have people.

00:04:23.348 --> 00:04:24.651
It'll just be a factory here.

00:04:24.651 --> 00:04:26.122
People will be here all day.

00:04:26.122 --> 00:04:29.569
85 of my members live within a mile of the club.

00:04:29.569 --> 00:04:34.220
A mile, yeah, wow yeah, that's pretty cool.

00:04:34.281 --> 00:04:35.843
Crazy, it's crazy, yeah.

00:04:35.903 --> 00:04:42.509
So they're here all the time now, during the year did, did the need and want for this like do the other local clubs?

00:04:42.509 --> 00:04:49.052
You said what you have like 10 other clubs that are also close by, do they also have that and do that and the members know and hear about it.

00:04:49.052 --> 00:04:52.769
So that's why they're like well, we want that at our club too yeah, that's, that's that's how.

00:04:52.831 --> 00:04:53.901
That's how it goes, right.

00:04:53.901 --> 00:04:56.829
I mean, they go, they go somewhere else and they see the setup and they go.

00:04:56.829 --> 00:04:58.322
Oh, that would be great to have at our club.

00:04:58.322 --> 00:05:07.634
Now we're a smaller club but you know, they'll go to like a club and they'll be open all year and they'll have sims and they'll have tennis, indoor tennis and a campus.

00:05:07.634 --> 00:05:15.502
But they see it, and most of the clubs have simulators at this point, one or two, and I'm going to get two.

00:05:15.502 --> 00:05:21.771
Put them in the middle of the function room and then just set the function room up to be basically a range.

00:05:22.132 --> 00:05:25.324
Yeah, yeah, what's that going to cost about?

00:05:26.247 --> 00:05:38.166
So the, the Sims are like 65,000 each if you buy them for the for all in, for all, the, all the software, all the, the, the whole thing, nuts to bolts 65 K.

00:05:38.166 --> 00:05:46.161
So you're talking one, 30 and you know you can charge for it, but like, you still got to front the money, you know, and that's, that's the trick, right.

00:05:46.161 --> 00:05:53.963
And then the grill room, you know being open again, if you're running your club properly, you're not making money, it's an amenity.

00:05:53.963 --> 00:05:56.451
So you're just, you're just, you're there.

00:05:56.451 --> 00:05:59.889
So if it costs a million to run the place, it's it's.

00:05:59.889 --> 00:06:01.983
You're making a million, it's zero.

00:06:01.983 --> 00:06:03.307
So the food and beverage doesn't count.

00:06:03.307 --> 00:06:05.603
You're making a million, it's zero.

00:06:05.603 --> 00:06:06.747
Yeah, so the food and beverage doesn't count, it's.

00:06:06.747 --> 00:06:10.620
It's more like, how do we, how do we break even with the sims and provide this experience for people to be able to be there?

00:06:10.620 --> 00:06:13.165
Yeah, that's, that's the plan and then what?

00:06:13.225 --> 00:06:15.531
instead go ahead, sorry yeah, that's.

00:06:15.891 --> 00:06:20.007
There's such a demand now that, like I, I need to do something.

00:06:20.007 --> 00:06:24.028
So, like people are like, like people are coming in dropping their dues off.

00:06:24.028 --> 00:06:26.362
That's typically what happens this time of year.

00:06:26.362 --> 00:06:27.786
When are we going to be open all year?

00:06:27.786 --> 00:06:29.000
When are we going to be open all year?

00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:33.841
Because they want it, they want to be here, yeah, which is a good problem to have do you think they will?

00:06:33.923 --> 00:06:35.028
they would all show up, though.

00:06:35.028 --> 00:06:35.913
Do you think they would?

00:06:35.913 --> 00:06:40.666
They would use the club enough to make it worth it enough, would you know I got.

00:06:41.007 --> 00:06:45.055
I have a whole bunch of people that go to flor, which is obvious, right, everybody has that.

00:06:45.055 --> 00:06:52.033
But there's enough people that live here, enough younger members our age that are here with kids that just want to get the hell out of the house.

00:06:52.033 --> 00:06:58.160
So they're going to come here and hit balls and have a couple beers and go home Perfect, right.

00:06:58.160 --> 00:07:00.625
So there's enough people that will do that.

00:07:00.625 --> 00:07:01.367
That.

00:07:01.367 --> 00:07:02.711
I think we can support it.

00:07:02.711 --> 00:07:05.305
A couple years ago I wouldn't have said that.

00:07:05.305 --> 00:07:06.649
Now I do.

00:07:07.839 --> 00:07:14.543
What would you do with the simulators once the weather gets nice, because you obviously need the room?

00:07:15.264 --> 00:07:19.517
Yeah, so that's the trick storing everything and taking it down.

00:07:19.517 --> 00:07:28.569
I'm probably going to have to build some kind of shed somewhere off to the side and put everything in there, because we're bursting at the seams.

00:07:28.569 --> 00:07:30.127
The building is just bursting at the seams.

00:07:30.127 --> 00:07:34.086
They built this building in 2011 with 300 members.

00:07:34.086 --> 00:07:35.290
Now we have 700.

00:07:35.290 --> 00:07:39.125
Same building, yeah, same footprint, same building.

00:07:39.125 --> 00:07:44.290
So we're bursting at the seams and if I start adding things like this, it's like what do I do with it?

00:07:44.290 --> 00:07:45.665
Storage is full.

00:07:45.665 --> 00:07:52.468
So, yeah, I'd probably have to just build a shed, take it down, probably March 20th, and then, you know, get into it.

00:07:52.468 --> 00:07:56.170
We usually open April 1 or around April 1, the golf course.

00:07:56.170 --> 00:08:03.588
So once the golf course is open, then no Sims, you know, but that that gets you three, three full months of Sims, quarter of the year.

00:08:05.661 --> 00:08:05.865
It's good.

00:08:05.884 --> 00:08:06.660
Yeah, it's just about breaking even.

00:08:06.660 --> 00:08:11.245
We're not in the business of making money, we're in the business of experiences.

00:08:11.627 --> 00:08:19.613
Yeah, which I'm sure you can easily get that too.

00:08:19.613 --> 00:08:23.769
Between parties groups, people having fun, yeah.

00:08:25.264 --> 00:08:26.548
There's lots of things we can do.

00:08:26.548 --> 00:08:31.367
And then with the grill room open in the winter, I mean I can do a winter wine dinner.

00:08:31.367 --> 00:08:33.447
I can do Valentine's Day.

00:08:33.447 --> 00:08:36.109
Valentine's Day is a home run easy.

00:08:36.109 --> 00:08:39.129
You do three seatings, prefix menu simple.

00:08:39.129 --> 00:08:41.905
I'll fill the place three times.

00:08:41.905 --> 00:08:42.649
That's easy.

00:08:42.649 --> 00:08:49.126
But there's lots of other things you can do throughout the winter, even with just the grow room open and not having functions.

00:08:49.126 --> 00:08:53.490
You know, because you can't do functions if you've got the Sims in the middle of the function room.

00:08:54.721 --> 00:08:55.664
It'd be a killer event.

00:08:56.407 --> 00:08:56.749
Wouldn't it?

00:08:56.749 --> 00:09:01.171
I'd love to do a bar mitzvah with the Sims in the middle of the room and see what happens.

00:09:01.171 --> 00:09:06.341
How long do they take to set up?

00:09:06.341 --> 00:09:06.542
So he so.

00:09:06.542 --> 00:09:10.494
So the guy from track man told me it's a full day to set it up and then probably half a day to take it down.

00:09:10.494 --> 00:09:12.465
Because it's not just setting it up.

00:09:12.465 --> 00:09:17.847
You have to, you have to configure the machine, you have to configure the, you have to calibrate the p, the pc.

00:09:17.847 --> 00:09:18.288
You have to.

00:09:18.288 --> 00:09:19.471
You have to get the cameras up.

00:09:19.471 --> 00:09:21.221
You, you got to test it there's.

00:09:21.221 --> 00:09:25.886
It's a lot more to set it up than it is to take it down, but, um, probably a full day for two.

00:09:26.327 --> 00:09:34.763
Would you be able to upsell that for events like can you because I'm sure there's kids who like I'm like what?

00:09:34.763 --> 00:09:35.845
Would that be an option?

00:09:35.845 --> 00:09:39.773
Or no, to upsell it, to use it for different stuff?

00:09:40.501 --> 00:09:40.962
well, I?

00:09:40.962 --> 00:09:43.470
I think that depends on how much of a demand.

00:09:43.470 --> 00:09:49.586
Is there a demand to the point where the members are using it all day, every day?

00:09:49.586 --> 00:09:52.592
Or is there open times to be able to upsell it?

00:09:52.592 --> 00:09:55.485
See, these are questions that you just don't know.

00:09:55.485 --> 00:10:01.572
When you create something new, you just throw it at the wall and see what sticks and just do the best you can.

00:10:02.441 --> 00:10:10.227
We're building a snack shack this winter in the building, right off the ninth hole, where people can come up, and it's going to be staffed and the whole thing.

00:10:10.227 --> 00:10:11.745
I don't even know how that's going to go.

00:10:11.745 --> 00:10:14.346
It's going to do it and see what happens.

00:10:14.346 --> 00:10:15.831
When's it going to be open?

00:10:15.831 --> 00:10:19.726
I'm going to open it at night and have it act as a bar.

00:10:19.726 --> 00:10:22.846
Then I'm going to get a pizza oven and sling pizzas down there.

00:10:22.846 --> 00:10:23.889
Home run right.

00:10:23.889 --> 00:10:25.472
But what's that going to look like?

00:10:25.472 --> 00:10:27.667
Am I going to have 100 people down there or am I going to have 20?

00:10:27.667 --> 00:10:28.549
Nobody knows.

00:10:28.549 --> 00:10:30.365
So you just try.

00:10:30.365 --> 00:10:36.990
If you don't try, you're never going to know and you've got to take calculated risks where you can.

00:10:36.990 --> 00:10:38.947
So that's what I'm doing, yeah.

00:10:40.442 --> 00:10:42.750
Were you always in the club space?

00:10:42.750 --> 00:10:45.964
Did you see yourself in this industry?

00:10:45.964 --> 00:10:46.749
Did you just like how?

00:10:46.749 --> 00:10:47.854
What was your journey like?

00:10:48.658 --> 00:10:54.009
Yeah, so I had unlike a lot of the club managers that are like F&B background.

00:10:54.009 --> 00:10:59.566
I had a totally different journey, so I started caddying when I was 12 at a club.

00:10:59.566 --> 00:11:00.368
Yeah, I was 12.

00:11:00.388 --> 00:11:01.149
Was that even legal?

00:11:02.091 --> 00:11:04.841
No, no, no, yeah.

00:11:04.841 --> 00:11:05.524
And then I was driving.

00:11:05.524 --> 00:11:07.481
Then I was driving the range car when I was 13.

00:11:07.481 --> 00:11:20.465
So, no, not legal, but I started caddying when I was 12 at a club and and, um, you know, got to, you know, got in the club space and started to you know, figure out like this is something I really enjoy and something I like to do.

00:11:20.465 --> 00:11:37.782
Hadn't even started playing golf yet and was playing baseball, and then got the golf bug by being at the club and started playing golf and I kept working at the club through high school, started working on the range, picking balls, working in the bag room and then eventually in the pro shop.

00:11:37.782 --> 00:11:41.797
As this was happening, I was also starting to play golf.

00:11:41.797 --> 00:11:52.370
The golf professional that was there at the time was left-handed and I'm left-handed, so he was like he kind of took me under his wing a little bit and said, hey, I'm going to show you, you know kind of how to play and everything.

00:11:52.370 --> 00:11:55.086
Eventually it got to the point where I made the high school team.

00:11:55.086 --> 00:12:07.490
We started to get good and senior year of high school we made it to the state championship and then I started to get looked at from colleges and that kind of thing.

00:12:07.490 --> 00:12:08.173
So I ended up going to.

00:12:08.192 --> 00:12:09.778
I ended up going to Salem state just North of Boston.

00:12:09.778 --> 00:12:15.890
Good, great division three school, you know, made the nationals 30 years in a row, so like it was a.

00:12:15.890 --> 00:12:17.765
It was a good program to walk into.

00:12:17.765 --> 00:12:21.302
When I got there I realized I didn't even really know how to play golf.

00:12:21.302 --> 00:12:27.951
Like I had to relearn how to play golf and play at a high level, right, and these guys like when I got there, there was five, all Americans on that team.

00:12:27.951 --> 00:12:32.676
So we were, we were really really good and I really learned a lot about how to play.

00:12:33.157 --> 00:12:41.105
So when I got to college I was like, well, I need a job, so let me go find a club to work at, since I just worked at a club for five years.

00:12:41.105 --> 00:12:43.447
So I went in.

00:12:43.447 --> 00:12:49.095
One of the clubs that we practiced at was looking for people for outside you know, just outside ops, that kind of thing.

00:12:49.095 --> 00:13:04.586
So I went to work there and I ended up spending the next eight years there, so all through college and then coming out of college and stayed there and ran the whole outside operation towards the end there and, uh, ended up as the first assistant at the at the end.

00:13:04.586 --> 00:13:05.928
So end.

00:13:05.969 --> 00:13:08.621
So this was a club that was super, super busy.

00:13:08.621 --> 00:13:10.566
We did a ton of outings.

00:13:10.566 --> 00:13:11.548
It was a factory.

00:13:11.548 --> 00:13:12.311
I mean, we were just.

00:13:12.311 --> 00:13:14.302
I learned it was all on the job training.

00:13:14.302 --> 00:13:18.312
I just learned about how to operate the golf side of a club.

00:13:19.980 --> 00:13:30.506
So then it got to the point where I maxed out there and I went to work for one of the members at a gift and award company called Tournament Solutions, kind of well-known in our industry.

00:13:30.506 --> 00:13:33.529
They do like trophies, pin flags, things like that.

00:13:33.529 --> 00:13:38.432
So what it did was it got me to learn the sales side of the business.

00:13:38.432 --> 00:13:43.772
I was still talking to golf professionals, gms, but I was on the sales side of it.

00:13:43.772 --> 00:13:58.419
Eventually we got licenses with the PGA and the USGA and you know I was on site at the Ryder cups and the U S opens and I worked there for 10 years, so really spent a long time there, built that book of business up substantially.

00:13:58.419 --> 00:13:59.140
We had a.

00:13:59.140 --> 00:14:00.484
We had a great run there.

00:14:01.085 --> 00:14:08.947
Um, towards the end there I started to get the itch to get back into clubs Because I was like now I've done this, I've done this, what can I do?

00:14:08.947 --> 00:14:16.586
So I was thinking maybe I could be a GM, but the one piece that was missing was food and beverage.

00:14:16.586 --> 00:14:21.880
So I knew it a little bit, but I didn't know enough.

00:14:21.880 --> 00:14:36.977
So I made a real strategic move I left Tournament Solutions as the assistant manager and I took a pay cut and everything also that I could learn F and B.

00:14:36.977 --> 00:14:38.039
How old were you?

00:14:38.039 --> 00:14:43.592
30, 33, 34.

00:14:43.592 --> 00:14:45.849
That's not a good time to do it.

00:14:45.869 --> 00:14:51.856
Yeah, you're, you're, you're just old enough, just young enough, like that's, that's, that's still, a, still, a still a move.

00:14:52.705 --> 00:15:08.136
I had an infant, so I had a one-year-old, so it was a risk, but it was also like I kind of had a vision of like, if I can do this and I can do this right, I'm going to end up potentially getting into the GM space.

00:15:08.136 --> 00:15:14.182
So I got there and I immediately joined CMAA, right, because I knew what the path was.

00:15:14.182 --> 00:15:19.389
I knew I needed six years to get my CCM.

00:15:19.389 --> 00:15:22.136
So I knew that time was needed and I needed to learn right.

00:15:22.136 --> 00:15:26.649
So I got there and this was a fine dining club, so like a five-star club.

00:15:26.649 --> 00:15:30.635
It's called Lanham Club in Andover, massachusetts.

00:15:30.635 --> 00:15:41.546
So I got there and I right away got thrown into weddings and fine dining and, like you know, the correct silverware and wine, dinners and like all this stuff.

00:15:41.546 --> 00:15:48.650
So it was great Cause it was like on the job, training and the GM that was, there, was, was, was unbelievable, like he was.

00:15:48.650 --> 00:15:53.149
He took kind of took me under his wing and said, look, this is what you need to learn, this is what you need to do.

00:15:53.149 --> 00:15:59.895
Then, kind of a quick twist of fate, six months into me being there, he got another job and left.

00:15:59.895 --> 00:16:07.615
So he leaves and they promoted me and I probably wasn't ready, but that's okay.

00:16:09.446 --> 00:16:16.499
I fell into it and it was a small enough club that I was able to, you know, kind of deal with it and learn and continue to learn on the fly.

00:16:16.499 --> 00:16:21.076
And I made a ton of mistakes, a ton of mistakes, but I learned from them.

00:16:21.076 --> 00:16:29.698
Well, I think my people skills were not, were not there.

00:16:29.698 --> 00:16:31.690
I needed to learn how to.

00:16:31.690 --> 00:16:39.745
I needed to learn how to talk to people better, specifically staff.

00:16:39.745 --> 00:16:43.013
Uh, that was like how, just how to manage people a little bit better and lead and lead versus manage.

00:16:43.013 --> 00:16:46.198
Um, and you know, I had to learn more about wine.

00:16:46.198 --> 00:16:48.669
I had to learn more about food.

00:16:48.669 --> 00:16:51.177
I mean, we had some unbelievable chefs come through there.

00:16:51.177 --> 00:16:52.506
So that was great, it was helpful.

00:16:52.506 --> 00:17:05.874
But, um, I think I needed to learn how to have an executive presence and that wasn't something that I was used to doing, and part of that was through the BMIs too.

00:17:05.874 --> 00:17:11.633
I mean, as this is all going on, I'm going to BMIs and I'm going to CMA meetings.

00:17:11.633 --> 00:17:18.550
I got on the New England board, I was starting to get to know people and this was all on the job training.

00:17:18.550 --> 00:17:30.598
It was great and by I would say, let me see, 15, I was probably like six years into I think it was six years into being there COVID.

00:17:30.598 --> 00:17:38.630
So now you're a dining club, you have no golf, you have no pool, you have no tennis and COVID happens.

00:17:38.630 --> 00:17:40.976
So you're shut, you're completely shut down.

00:17:40.976 --> 00:17:52.351
So I kind of got a PhD in crisis management because I had to figure out how to like operate the club with no dining and our membership was older.

00:17:52.351 --> 00:17:56.797
So then they were more reluctant to come out, even when we did reopen.

00:17:57.417 --> 00:18:03.797
So you know, we, we ran a, we ran a program right when we right when we, right when COVID happened.

00:18:03.797 --> 00:18:09.974
So, like April one, really we started a, we started a program that we called the Lanham fresh.

00:18:09.974 --> 00:18:18.270
So what we did was we, we we had like three or four different meals that each week we would.

00:18:18.270 --> 00:18:26.991
We would have the ingredients packaged up and uncooked for the members to take home with the chef's recipe.

00:18:26.991 --> 00:18:37.092
Yeah, and then what I would do is each week we would film a video in the kitchen with the chef, with the chef showing the members how to cook it Right.

00:18:37.092 --> 00:18:40.048
And that was I was just trying to get creative Right.

00:18:40.048 --> 00:18:51.093
I mean, like we were all just doing the best we could to, like you know, keep things going and um, and that went on for a couple of months and then we reopened and, and you know, did outside dining for a while and it was hard.

00:18:51.574 --> 00:18:56.926
So at that point I was like dining for a while and it was hard.

00:18:56.926 --> 00:19:00.795
So at that point I was like I think I'm starting to outgrow this club and I think it's now I'm starting to get the golf itch back.

00:19:00.795 --> 00:19:05.732
I want to play, I want to get back into golf, that kind of piece.

00:19:05.732 --> 00:19:15.578
So I started looking at other jobs and I started to look around and you know long roundabout route but I ended up here at Needham in 21, at the end of 21.

00:19:15.578 --> 00:19:18.913
And this couldn't be a better fit for me.

00:19:20.144 --> 00:19:27.817
With everything that I've learned along the way and everything that I've done over the different clubs I've been at and the different experiences I've had.

00:19:27.817 --> 00:19:30.200
Ultimately it's led me to this club.

00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:39.326
It's led me to this club.

00:19:39.326 --> 00:19:42.075
It's a nine-hole member, private-owned, really small but with a great membership, long-serving staff.

00:19:42.075 --> 00:19:52.409
I integrated myself really well and I took all the mistakes I've made and all the things that I've learned along the way and brought them here and we've seen huge transformation.

00:19:52.409 --> 00:19:56.289
Our wait list is blown up and and I mean just really really good stuff.

00:19:56.650 --> 00:20:06.715
And I also would say too, um, a big part of what, um, a big part of my journey also happened, um, in 2022.

00:20:06.715 --> 00:20:08.057
And I'll explain that.

00:20:08.057 --> 00:20:36.798
So I had gotten here, um, kind of gotten myself settled and everything, and another club manager friend of mine, um, who, uh, worked on Cape Cod uh, we were talking you know we don't see each other a lot in the summer, but you know like we talk all the time and, um, he was on a similar path that I was in his personal life and and in his career, uh, so we talked, we chatted all the time and and we were talking about, you know, helping others.

00:20:36.798 --> 00:20:44.049
We spent a lot of time talking about helping others and about kind of getting out there potentially speaking, doing these types of things and helping other people.

00:20:44.049 --> 00:20:46.698
So this is at the end of 22,.

00:20:46.959 --> 00:20:54.335
We, we were, um, you know, we were chatting about, you know kind of getting a dinner together and talking to some other managers and talking about how we could do this.

00:20:54.335 --> 00:21:08.951
This was on a Friday and um had a great conversation and and maybe about an hour, and then he texted me after and, um, and then two days later he's dead, 47 years old heart attack.

00:21:08.951 --> 00:21:11.173
What yeah?

00:21:11.173 --> 00:21:21.185
Same age as me, so as me or give or take a couple years that'll mess you up yeah, I, I still can't.

00:21:22.768 --> 00:21:32.192
I look at it sometimes that the text he sent me that that day was so powerful that I still go back and read it because I can't not look at it.

00:21:32.192 --> 00:21:34.821
Um, and I, I was.

00:21:34.821 --> 00:21:39.974
I was really like I've never been so like upset about anything.

00:21:39.974 --> 00:21:44.531
I mean, I've had, you know, I've had family, you know issues and past.

00:21:44.531 --> 00:21:45.934
People pass away and that kind of thing.

00:21:45.934 --> 00:21:56.000
But this hit different for some reason, and it was really because he was so much like me and we were really thinking about the same things.

00:21:56.000 --> 00:22:02.638
And to see him just pass away, I was like what am I going to do?

00:22:02.638 --> 00:22:09.484
I got to make some changes, because if I don't make those changes, I'm going to end up like that.

00:22:10.006 --> 00:22:13.189
I went to the wake with a bunch of other manager friends and we get up to the.

00:22:13.189 --> 00:22:13.453
It was an open casket.

00:22:13.453 --> 00:22:16.211
And you get up to the wake and you know, with a bunch of other manager friends and we get up to the it was an open casket.

00:22:16.211 --> 00:22:19.818
And you get up to the open casket and he had a shaved head, like I do.

00:22:19.818 --> 00:22:28.125
And I went up to the casket and I looked in the casket and I saw myself in the casket and I can't.

00:22:28.125 --> 00:22:46.849
It's burned in my memory and I drove home that day and I was like I have to make some changes the amount that I'm working, the amount that I care, the amount of time I spend with my family, the, just the, the, the awareness of what's really important versus what isn't.

00:22:48.330 --> 00:22:50.472
So I started making some changes.

00:22:50.472 --> 00:22:57.380
I joined the 5 am club.

00:22:57.380 --> 00:23:08.227
As a lot of people know, you get up early and you start your day with intention and when you do that, you set yourself up for the rest of the day to be successful.

00:23:08.227 --> 00:23:09.628
So I started doing that.

00:23:09.628 --> 00:23:22.041
I started doing a lot of reading, which I had never done before Tons of podcasts Just started really focusing on what was important and what wasn't important.

00:23:22.565 --> 00:23:24.871
It changed the way that I led my staff.

00:23:24.931 --> 00:23:30.328
It changed the way that I led myself and the way I communicated, and it's been a journey over the last three years.

00:23:30.348 --> 00:23:58.432
And it's been a journey over the last like three years and it's gotten progressively better and eventually led me to saying, hey, I really want to, um, I really want to help other people and I really want to share what I've learned with other people, because I know that a lot of other managers are in the same boat that I am, and especially men don't want to talk about it and they feel uncomfortable to talk about it.

00:23:58.432 --> 00:24:00.757
And I don't.

00:24:00.757 --> 00:24:04.188
I don't feel uncomfortable, I want to help other people.

00:24:04.188 --> 00:24:36.208
I feel like I have a purpose to help other people and that was what eventually led me to my own podcast, which I launched last year, and what I'm doing in that is basically doing an uncensored, unfiltered view of what I deal with in a short burst of 10 or 15 minutes so that people can listen to it on the way to work and people can absorb, maybe, what I've learned and hopefully not make the mistakes that I've learned.

00:24:40.554 --> 00:24:40.875
Damn.

00:24:41.895 --> 00:24:43.458
Yeah, a lot of stuff.

00:24:43.458 --> 00:25:06.327
So it's, it's, it's been a, it's been a real and it's it's interesting because every every time I see friends and managers at um, you know, at a meeting or conference or whatever you know they, I know that people are listening because they they intentionally will come up to me and go, hey, thanks for doing what you're doing, because there isn't anybody else in that in the space doing that.

00:25:06.327 --> 00:25:09.163
Yeah, there's a lot of people talking about a lot of things.

00:25:09.163 --> 00:25:16.278
I mean, you have people on all the time that are way more intelligent than I am, that have tons of experience about certain areas.

00:25:16.278 --> 00:25:34.416
You know of the club business and the business aspect of it, but I don't think a lot of people are talking about how we deal with being managers and how much pressure is on us, not just as managers but as parents, spouses, whatever it might be.

00:25:34.416 --> 00:25:45.763
We're just doing the best we can every day, and it's a lot of stress to be at a club, but it's also your choice to be stressed.

00:25:45.763 --> 00:25:46.952
That's what I've learned.

00:25:46.952 --> 00:25:51.776
Like you know, you hear you have a conversation with a manager and how's it going.

00:25:51.776 --> 00:25:53.941
Oh, it's so hard.

00:25:53.941 --> 00:25:55.111
It's been such a tough year.

00:25:55.111 --> 00:25:56.273
You know we had to do this.

00:25:56.273 --> 00:25:56.934
We had to do that.

00:25:56.934 --> 00:26:02.836
That's your choice, though, right, you have to set boundaries with your membership and you have to be.

00:26:02.836 --> 00:26:07.135
You have to be okay with the fact that you're not going to get everything done.

00:26:07.557 --> 00:26:09.512
Great example when I interviewed at Needham.

00:26:09.512 --> 00:26:18.893
I had a bunch of interviews and by the last interview I basically said to them I said, guys, I'm really interested in the job, but I want to tell you that you're not going to see me on Sundays.

00:26:18.893 --> 00:26:22.521
And they were like, well, how come?

00:26:22.521 --> 00:26:27.750
And I said well, I have two young kids and that's more important to me than being here on a Sunday.

00:26:27.750 --> 00:26:33.392
Now, of course, there's exceptions big holidays or whatever it might be but in general, I'm not here on Sundays.

00:26:33.973 --> 00:26:38.462
So I set that boundary right when I started here and it hasn't changed.

00:26:38.462 --> 00:26:39.392
It's not going to waver.

00:26:39.392 --> 00:26:40.915
It's like don't work on Sundays.

00:26:40.915 --> 00:26:50.313
I'm with my kids on Sundays, and I think people can say that they're stressed at their job.

00:26:50.313 --> 00:26:50.794
But it's also up to you.

00:26:50.794 --> 00:27:02.201
I mean, ultimately, you can only control you and not others, and it's your choice to find a club that serves you versus you serving the club.

00:27:02.201 --> 00:27:03.223
You're going to serve the club.

00:27:03.223 --> 00:27:07.938
The club also has to serve you in return, and when you're at the right club, you figure out.

00:27:07.938 --> 00:27:16.502
You figure out that, like hey, this club is serving me just as much as I'm serving it, and if you're not, then then you're, then you're at the wrong club.

00:27:17.230 --> 00:27:19.934
Yeah yeah, wow, thanks for sharing all of that.

00:27:19.934 --> 00:27:32.079
Yeah yeah, no, I, I don't know if it's always been a thing or maybe I'm just realizing it more from chatting with so many professionals too, but to that point it's.

00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:33.753
You know, managers are going.

00:27:33.753 --> 00:27:34.678
Nah, this is not for me.

00:27:34.678 --> 00:27:53.066
I think I'm out where I'm going to find a club that is and also like interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you, because you can, through proper questions, figure out if, you know, is a club putting on a good front, because that happens too, just like managers and people can put on great interviews and they get in.

00:27:53.086 --> 00:27:53.926
They're like who did we hire?

00:27:53.926 --> 00:27:57.997
I'm sure there's clubs that put on a great front to go, ah, we're all the, you know we're the best, and you get in.

00:27:57.997 --> 00:28:00.011
They're like you guys talked a great game.

00:28:00.011 --> 00:28:25.522
But I was chatting with another GM friend and, uh, you know she, uh, the club that she enjoys is she likes to be hands-on, she likes to be part of the event, she likes to set up the table, she likes knowing and being a part, getting her hands dirty, and she was at a club that she didn't have that and she just didn't have the same fulfillment and the same joy as a club that she's at now, where she gets to do more of that and be hands-on and be more of those.

00:28:25.522 --> 00:28:28.167
Be be more of that manager.

00:28:28.167 --> 00:28:29.730
So yeah I.

00:28:29.851 --> 00:28:34.221
I think that I think that comes back to again finding finding a club that's going to serve you.

00:28:34.221 --> 00:28:39.280
Yeah, um, so, like, how is that club set up and is that setup going to work for you?

00:28:39.280 --> 00:28:48.107
You know, so, like I'm I'm a golf professional just as much as the gm, so I want to be able to play golf and I'm at a club that allows that to happen, that there's no questions asked, in fact GM.

00:28:48.107 --> 00:28:49.977
So I want to be able to play golf and I'm at a club that allows that to happen, that there's no questions asked.

00:28:49.977 --> 00:28:55.035
In fact, they love it, they want to see me out on the golf course, so that's a good thing.

00:28:55.035 --> 00:28:56.357
That means I'm at the right place.

00:28:56.357 --> 00:29:02.275
And you're totally correct about interviewing a club just as much as a club interviewing you.

00:29:02.275 --> 00:29:07.382
More managers would be right to do that.

00:29:07.862 --> 00:29:17.294
Our average tenure GM's average tenure, I think, is like three years, which is unbelievable to me, because it isn't until year three that you actually know what's going on.

00:29:17.294 --> 00:29:24.640
It takes you that long to really know the members, to know the culture, to become ingrained in it, and then you're turning around and leaving.

00:29:24.640 --> 00:29:28.711
It's like that's wild to me.

00:29:28.711 --> 00:29:38.980
Why would you waste all that time to then turn around and go to another club, but unfortunately that's what people do, or clubs decide oh, you haven't done enough in a year, so you're out.

00:29:38.980 --> 00:29:42.301
And again it's all about setting boundaries.

00:29:42.301 --> 00:29:44.143
You got to tell the club right away.

00:29:44.143 --> 00:29:48.145
This is going to take three years for you to see results.

00:29:48.145 --> 00:29:58.294
You have to be okay with that and you have to be confident enough to be able to have that conversation with your board or your president, whatever it might be.

00:29:58.294 --> 00:30:06.766
I've been lucky enough to be blessed with two great presidents so far that I've been here with more on the horizon, because I've set up the governance to serve me just as much as I'm going to serve them.

00:30:07.790 --> 00:30:09.016
Rigging the system over here.

00:30:09.869 --> 00:30:36.297
You know well, that is the system Like if you have the ability to be able to set up your board, for you know, 10 years out, then you're going to be at your club for a long time and ultimately you're trying to do what's best for the club, but you're also trying to make sure that people understand that you know I have to have a life outside of the club and I have to also be able to um, I need, I need to be able to be my best self when I'm at the club.

00:30:36.297 --> 00:30:41.336
In order for me to do that, this is what I need from from you, right, and to be able to go from there.

00:30:41.336 --> 00:30:47.890
Um, part of the journey that I've been on, too, has been um, you know too, has been a lot of reading, a lot of different things.

00:30:47.890 --> 00:31:10.613
But I have found, over the last three years, stoicism and, for the people that might not know, stoicism is an ancient philosophy, a 2,000-year-old philosophy that's been popularized over the last 10, 15 years, mostly by Ryan Holiday, who wrote the Daily Stoic and Obstacles the Way and other books like that.

00:31:11.615 --> 00:31:26.941
But the gist of stoicism is you can only control you, you cannot control others, and that is a model that, frankly, works really really well for me, so I know it will work for other managers.

00:31:26.941 --> 00:31:41.063
The four stoic philosophies are wisdom, courage, justice and temperance, and if you apply those four things to everything you do in life, you are, you are going to be um, you are going to be a really really good manager.

00:31:41.063 --> 00:31:50.305
So I've tried to use that, that stoicism, as a um yeah, you know as like kind of a guiding light for the type of manager I want to be.

00:31:50.529 --> 00:31:53.798
Yeah, yeah, have you read his book.

00:31:53.798 --> 00:31:55.182
Trust me, I'm lying.

00:31:56.670 --> 00:31:58.394
That's before the Stoic books.

00:31:58.394 --> 00:32:01.722
I think yeah, I actually haven't read that one, but I've heard it's great.

00:32:02.210 --> 00:32:03.615
That's just crazy stuff.

00:32:05.673 --> 00:32:19.685
Yeah, he's a great writer, but also just a great communicator, and it's something that I can listen to every day and something that I can really own and be part of, and it's made me a better person.

00:32:19.685 --> 00:32:31.739
Yeah, and it's been part of the journey of getting up in the morning and journaling, and journaling and and getting my thoughts out so that I can have a clean day, and it's made me a better person.

00:32:32.981 --> 00:32:33.442
That's awesome.

00:32:33.442 --> 00:32:42.400
This went a lot different than I thought in a much better way.

00:32:43.020 --> 00:32:43.701
And that's what's great.

00:32:43.701 --> 00:32:45.084
That's what's great about this stuff, right?

00:32:45.084 --> 00:32:46.192
Yeah, I mean, that's what it is.

00:32:46.192 --> 00:32:53.403
You know conversation and you talk through someone's journey and you never know where it's going to go.

00:32:53.763 --> 00:33:03.045
Yeah, because I know it's your journal or your podcast, the club manager's journal.

00:33:03.045 --> 00:33:08.503
But I think I was surprised, just even how much you opened up, because I think everyone will go oh yeah, or it's whatever.

00:33:08.503 --> 00:33:11.603
You, I think I was surprised, just even like how much you opened up, because I think everyone will go like oh yeah, you know, or like it's, it's whatever.

00:33:11.603 --> 00:33:16.605
If you're like yeah, but like you really opened up, like you really get into, you get into stuff.

00:33:18.131 --> 00:33:24.332
I don't think a lot of managers are doing it, or or don't have the to take it back to a stoic virtue.

00:33:24.332 --> 00:33:25.900
They don't have the courage to do it.

00:33:25.900 --> 00:33:27.086
Courage is calling.

00:33:27.287 --> 00:33:29.093
Great, great book yeah right.

00:33:29.453 --> 00:33:46.721
Well, exactly Whatever it is it might be, oh, I'm afraid of opening up because I don't want to lose my job, or I'm afraid of what people are going to think, or I'm afraid of my reputation, or whatever it might be, and that doesn't matter.

00:33:46.721 --> 00:33:58.523
What only matters is how you feel about yourself and about how you respond to things that happen around you.

00:33:58.523 --> 00:34:03.596
That can be with a member, that can be with a staff member, that can be with your family, it doesn't matter.

00:34:03.596 --> 00:34:04.499
With your family, it doesn't matter.

00:34:04.499 --> 00:34:15.371
But controlling your own responses and being um stoic in nature, um is really powerful.

00:34:15.391 --> 00:34:15.813
I've I've found that.

00:34:15.813 --> 00:34:24.735
I've also found that in the past, some of the mistakes I made, like talking too much at the wrong times, um, you know, saying too much when, when saying nothing, is more powerful.

00:34:24.735 --> 00:34:38.757
Really interesting how that dynamic has changed in my life and just made me a better leader to the people that are here, and I think people notice it even in the time that I've been here.

00:34:38.757 --> 00:34:53.697
But also, definitely, family members and people I've known for a long time have seen the difference, and I credit that to some of the things that have happened in my life, but also, um, the work I've done to to become a better person.

00:34:54.159 --> 00:34:57.911
Yeah, it's hard to not talk Like it is.

00:34:57.911 --> 00:34:58.391
It's it.

00:34:58.391 --> 00:34:58.733
I've.

00:34:58.733 --> 00:35:23.432
I've found myself a little bit too like certain scenario, situations like I'm just gonna sit here, um, and I feel really bad now for myself because as I look across so I'm in my studio, I, I can look out into my like man cave, corby enterprises uh, I could see my uh daily stoic book and I can see the little ribbon because I don't read it daily and I know it's far from so.

00:35:23.432 --> 00:35:31.829
I can see it's like oh, I've not opened up that in a while, and now it's like, it's like looking at me, it's like open me, I've not opened up that in a while, and now it's like, it's like looking at me, it's like open me now, Like it can hear this conversation happening.

00:35:32.190 --> 00:35:35.780
Right, right, right, right, yeah, you, you, um, you got to read it every day.

00:35:35.780 --> 00:35:39.393
That's the whole point and it's a little snippet every day and it's a you know it's.

00:35:39.393 --> 00:35:46.583
I typically will write something down in my, in my own journal every day that I get from either that or something else.

00:35:46.583 --> 00:35:49.050
I'm trying to read other things too.

00:35:49.050 --> 00:36:07.784
This time of year, in January, a great book for managers to read, if they haven't, is Atomic Habits by James Clear, a wonderful book that I reread every January to remind myself that habits can be good and bad, but habits can also guide you and make you, make you a better person if you, if you, follow the good ones.

00:36:07.784 --> 00:36:10.012
So you know, that's another one too.

00:36:10.012 --> 00:36:13.737
But yeah, I mean, I think, you know, I think there's.

00:36:13.737 --> 00:36:21.286
It takes a lot of courage to kind of open up and be, you know, be a person that wants to help people.

00:36:21.286 --> 00:36:36.436
I think we're all servant leaders in some way, but I'm I'm trying to just take my knowledge of what I've learned in the club space and pass it along to other managers and I'm not talking just younger managers, I'm talking about people that are contemporaries of mine too.

00:36:36.436 --> 00:36:44.443
I mean, those are the people that call me more than anybody else, they'll be like what you're saying I deal with every day and I'm like I know you do.

00:36:44.443 --> 00:36:46.074
That's why I'm doing this.

00:36:46.074 --> 00:36:52.983
I'm doing this because I'm trying to help people that are like me, that I know are in the same boat as me.

00:36:55.010 --> 00:37:13.760
I'd say it's probably more to the I hate to say this because it's for everybody, but it's definitely some of the male managers that struggle with the amount of responsibility that they have in life, their club, their home, the finances, everything right.

00:37:13.760 --> 00:37:18.916
There's just a lot on us and there's not a lot of place to talk about it.

00:37:18.916 --> 00:37:22.023
And club managers are really unique.

00:37:22.023 --> 00:37:28.643
We're very, very unique in what we do and there's not a lot of people that understand what we do.

00:37:28.809 --> 00:37:35.894
I mean, you can go home and you can complain to your spouse about you know what happened at the club today, but they don't know.

00:37:35.894 --> 00:37:42.342
They don't know, like they don't know what it's like to have to be on all the time.

00:37:42.342 --> 00:37:46.119
Another manager knows what it's like to be on all the time.

00:37:46.119 --> 00:37:59.907
So when someone calls me and says I'm, I'm exhausted, it's, you know, labor day and the pool's been open for 100 days and I want to kill someone, and it's like, yeah, I get it, I understand, I've been there, so it's so.

00:37:59.907 --> 00:38:02.597
So sometimes people just want to feel heard and understood.

00:38:02.597 --> 00:38:08.635
In fact, more often than not, people just want to feel heard and understood, and managers typically don't have an outlet for that.

00:38:09.637 --> 00:38:15.472
Yeah, it's hard yeah, I even think about the being on part because I know it's, it's, it's.

00:38:15.472 --> 00:38:19.001
If I do like you know I do a full day event.

00:38:19.001 --> 00:38:23.878
You know, if I'm on all day, I'm like at the end I'm cooked, done, right, done.

00:38:23.878 --> 00:38:26.994
I just got off doing three days and I was like, oh, yesterday I was.

00:38:26.994 --> 00:38:39.269
If you saw me in the airport, I looked like the unabomber, all black, like rbf, beyond belief, like, and normally I'll like be chatty, like the woman next to me was just so chatty that I just like I felt really rude.

00:38:39.269 --> 00:38:42.577
But I just slowly put in my airpods and put my hood up.

00:38:42.577 --> 00:38:46.105
I was like I'm so done, like I, I can't, I can't, I can't.

00:38:46.105 --> 00:38:48.088
And it was 8am or 6am.

00:38:48.088 --> 00:38:50.213
She's already ordering like a bucket club.

00:38:50.213 --> 00:38:51.416
I was like I'm done, I can't.

00:38:53.460 --> 00:39:04.956
Yeah, you just, I mean, I mean you, you're in a situation where you have to be on when you're at a club, like when you're there and you're performing and you're doing your thing, you're on, so you can understand what it's like to feel exhausted at the end of the day.

00:39:04.956 --> 00:39:30.956
I mean, if you're, if you're at, if you're running your member guest, and it's three days and you're on for three days straight, by by Sunday you're, you're done, you're cooked, and then you come home and your kids haven't seen you for three days and they want to do something and you're fried, and then you feel guilty that you didn't do anything with your kids because you're fried.

00:39:30.956 --> 00:39:34.420
But then or then you try to do something with your kids and it doesn't go as well.

00:39:34.420 --> 00:39:44.628
This is the, this is the rabbit hole you go down and sometimes you just need someone to talk to or someone else that like is saying I understand you, yeah, and there isn't a lot.

00:39:44.628 --> 00:39:49.894
There isn't a lot of that for managers.

00:39:49.914 --> 00:39:57.193
I was recently on the national CMAA podcast with Melissa Lowe and Kyle Jennings and they're wonderful, and I explained to them kind of the same thing.

00:39:57.193 --> 00:40:09.844
I'm like there's a lot of people talking about a lot of stuff, but not about like what it's really like to be a manager and those tough times where you're just burnt out, you know, at the end of the season or at the end of a big tournament or at the end of an event or whatever.

00:40:09.844 --> 00:40:16.849
Um, you know, other people don't know what that feels like unless you've been in the seat of running a whole event or running a club.

00:40:16.849 --> 00:40:17.893
You just don't know.

00:40:18.653 --> 00:40:22.702
So have you started doing therapy, coaching, like what?

00:40:22.702 --> 00:40:25.394
What have you taken some of those other steps to?

00:40:25.394 --> 00:40:32.034
I don't want to say alleviate, I don't know what word I'm trying to say but like, have you taken to other other steps to help that?

00:40:32.898 --> 00:40:35.056
Yeah, I have a whole team of people helping me.

00:40:35.056 --> 00:40:40.992
Like, like you, like you need help, right, you just can't like.

00:40:40.992 --> 00:40:44.840
For for so many years I I said.

00:40:44.840 --> 00:40:50.139
I said, no, I'm not doing that, I can do it by myself, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm good.

00:40:50.139 --> 00:40:52.436
I'm good Because that's what a lot of people say.

00:40:52.436 --> 00:41:01.215
But after my friend passed away and after all these things kind of happened in succession, I said I need help.

00:41:01.215 --> 00:41:11.431
So I have a coach, I have a therapist, I do these things religiously because they help and I feel heard.

00:41:11.431 --> 00:41:14.657
So then I can be a better version of myself.

00:41:14.657 --> 00:41:24.092
When I then go back to the club or go home or whatever it might be, I can talk to my kids more empathetically, I can talk to my staff more empathetically.

00:41:24.092 --> 00:41:30.014
I can do things that I couldn't do before because of the help that I went and got.

00:41:30.014 --> 00:41:33.103
Therapists and coaches are two different things.

00:41:33.670 --> 00:41:40.579
I was going to ask how do you differentiate and what's the difference between your coach and your therapist, and what do each of them help accomplish?

00:41:41.550 --> 00:41:42.231
It's a big difference.

00:41:42.592 --> 00:41:48.324
My coach always says I'm not a therapist, see, he reminds me of that often, which is great.

00:41:48.869 --> 00:42:00.259
But you know, I think from a coaching standpoint, it's like you come with a problem and the coach's job is not to solve the problem but to help you find your own way.

00:42:00.259 --> 00:42:29.422
So, whereas therapy is a little bit different, you know, a therapy is more probably you're dealing with more personal issues or you're dealing with, you know, more emotional things where I think coaching kind of separates itself to be more in the business side of it, but then it immediately leaks right into your personal life and you can take some of those skills and some of those things that you learn and then bring that back into your personal life.

00:42:29.422 --> 00:42:47.713
They're definitely different, but they they ultimately are doing the same thing, which is making you better and allowing you an outlet to be able to um, allowing you an outlet to be able to, like, get your thoughts out to someone that is just there to listen and help you and help you find your own way.

00:42:47.713 --> 00:42:50.557
Not solve your problem, but help you find your own way.

00:42:50.557 --> 00:42:52.280
I like that.

00:42:54.143 --> 00:42:54.704
I like that a lot.

00:42:55.751 --> 00:43:00.481
I want people to um, I want people to listen to my podcast, but I want them to want to listen.

00:43:00.481 --> 00:43:04.679
I'm not in it for clicks, I'm not in it for likes, I don't care.

00:43:04.679 --> 00:43:11.195
If I can help one person by some of the stuff I'm talking about, then I did my job.

00:43:11.195 --> 00:43:13.740
So, you know, I would encourage people to go on there.

00:43:13.740 --> 00:43:14.911
It's the club manager journal.

00:43:14.911 --> 00:43:18.599
It's on all the, all the outlets that you can find Um.

00:43:18.599 --> 00:43:20.590
I try to update it every Monday.

00:43:20.590 --> 00:43:21.773
Uh, in season.

00:43:21.773 --> 00:43:24.958
It's a little spotty, uh, but that is what it is.

00:43:25.018 --> 00:43:27.342
I'm thanks to you and your advice.

00:43:27.342 --> 00:43:41.070
I've tried to stay out in front of it and get a couple done ahead, but typically Mondays are when new episodes are coming out and I would encourage people to go on there and take a listen and maybe you'll get something out of it.

00:43:41.070 --> 00:43:45.873
And if I'm helping at least one person, I'm doing something good.

00:43:45.873 --> 00:43:48.394
If I'm helping at least one person, I'm doing something good.

00:43:48.394 --> 00:43:57.159
And I would also probably say to other managers out there focus on being 1% better every day and that's it.

00:43:57.159 --> 00:44:06.485
Don't try to be a person that you're not, don't try to be someone that is not who you are.

00:44:06.485 --> 00:44:14.889
Just be 1% better than you were yesterday, and if you do that, you're ultimately going to get there and you're going to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

00:44:15.891 --> 00:44:23.440
It's right before you and I were chatting, I was chatting with somebody and it was just about that, which was just compare yourself, Don't compare to others.

00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:27.744
Compare yourself to yourself and just be a little bit better every time, Can you?

00:44:27.744 --> 00:44:28.155
You Don't compare to others.

00:44:28.155 --> 00:44:29.019
Compare yourself to yourself and just be a little bit better every time.

00:44:29.019 --> 00:44:29.237
Just look at yourself.

00:44:29.237 --> 00:44:33.521
How can you compare to yourself, make yourself better and that little bit 1% better every day?

00:44:33.521 --> 00:44:36.864
Perfect timing.

00:44:36.864 --> 00:44:37.485
That's crazy.

00:44:38.306 --> 00:44:41.838
Yeah, that's something I think about all the time.

00:44:41.838 --> 00:44:49.641
I just am trying to be a little bit better than I was yesterday and also give yourself grace as a manager.

00:44:49.641 --> 00:44:53.313
Like don't, like, nothing's going to be perfect, like it's just it.

00:44:53.313 --> 00:44:57.121
I, perfection is a killer in our industry.

00:44:57.121 --> 00:44:58.211
It's, it's a real.

00:44:58.211 --> 00:45:15.269
We have a we have a perfection problem in club management, uh, where you know things are expected to be something that they're not going to be and you know you have to be okay with the fact that things aren't going to be perfect.

00:45:16.969 --> 00:45:22.240
You know another book that I keep coming back to books, but like one last book that I think people should read is called the One Word by John Gordon.

00:45:22.240 --> 00:45:32.213
So every year that we start the year, instead of doing a resolution, I immediately think of one word that's going to guide my year, and we do this.

00:45:32.213 --> 00:45:38.164
A lot of other people managers, I know do this, but it's something that people can think about.

00:45:38.164 --> 00:45:51.878
My word for 2025 is peace, and that can mean lots of different things, but for me it's peace in all the conversations I have, all the communication that I have with members.

00:45:51.878 --> 00:45:55.943
Peace in knowing that I'm okay.

00:45:55.943 --> 00:46:03.478
Peace and knowing that I'm doing the best I can when something goes off the off, off the walls.

00:46:03.478 --> 00:46:11.471
But that's the word that's guiding me for for for this year and I would, I would recommend that book because it really takes it into.

00:46:12.152 --> 00:46:18.231
We're busy people and it takes, um, it takes a lot to like, really like, get a routine that works.

00:46:18.231 --> 00:46:42.918
You know, getting up early reading books, it's hard in season to do that, but if you have one word to guide you for the year, boy is that powerful Because you don't have to think Peace, peace in everything that I do for this year, and if I can follow that and other people can create their own word and whatever it might be, some people might be driven in this particular year.

00:46:42.918 --> 00:46:48.293
Some people might be you know, you know, you know might want to give themselves grace in one year.

00:46:48.293 --> 00:46:50.431
You know there's lots of different things that you can do.

00:46:50.431 --> 00:46:54.215
For me it's peace, and next year it'll be something else.

00:46:54.215 --> 00:47:03.898
But I think that guiding light, that North star word, really helps me get through, um, the the times where things are really challenging.

00:47:04.688 --> 00:47:06.184
Do you have it like written anywhere?

00:47:06.184 --> 00:47:07.610
Is it on like a sticky note?

00:47:07.610 --> 00:47:09.166
Like, do you have it Like?

00:47:09.166 --> 00:47:11.193
Did you get like a ring that has like a P on it?

00:47:11.193 --> 00:47:12.371
Like, have you gotten like that?

00:47:12.371 --> 00:47:14.393
Like, have you gotten that far down the rabbit hole with it?

00:47:14.764 --> 00:47:30.920
So so I have it in my journal, I have it, like you know, I have it, I have it in my head and it's not hard to forget one word and and you know I have some other stuff around that are, you know, you know that are things, um, you know that kind of lead to peace.

00:47:30.920 --> 00:47:33.101
You know again some of Ryan holiday stuff.

00:47:33.101 --> 00:47:43.670
Uh, there's a Latin term called a more a fat day, which is love your fate.

00:47:43.670 --> 00:47:44.853
Uh, and that is a really peaceful thing to think about.

00:47:44.853 --> 00:47:54.425
So, like when things are really like not going well, that's your fate and you have to learn to love it even if it's not great, and that's a peaceful way to look at something that isn't peaceful.

00:47:54.425 --> 00:47:57.791
So I think back to Amorafate.

00:47:57.791 --> 00:48:03.389
I have that written in a lot of places, so I guess I kind of do in a roundabout way, but like different stuff.

00:48:03.668 --> 00:48:05.974
Yeah, yeah, that's good.

00:48:05.974 --> 00:48:07.115
I think I have to go.

00:48:07.115 --> 00:48:11.253
I have all my Ryan Holiday books in a nice stack upstairs Like shit.

00:48:11.253 --> 00:48:13.427
I think I have to go open those back up again.

00:48:13.427 --> 00:48:13.947
Damn it.

00:48:14.086 --> 00:48:14.568
Yeah, you do.

00:48:14.969 --> 00:48:15.429
Yeah, you do.

00:48:15.548 --> 00:48:18.693
Especially the Daily Stoic, because it's easy Hold on.

00:48:20.494 --> 00:48:22.338
Go it all right.

00:48:22.338 --> 00:48:23.199
This is embarrassing.

00:48:23.199 --> 00:48:26.829
So let's see uh, this is there it is.

00:48:26.829 --> 00:48:28.213
When did I start it?

00:48:28.213 --> 00:48:30.440
I started a few years ago.

00:48:30.440 --> 00:48:32.485
I know that as I put the date, I'm not sure.

00:48:32.485 --> 00:48:41.574
I don't think so, but the last time I read it was oh, november 30th, okay, november 28th that's not terrible.

00:48:41.594 --> 00:48:41.996
that's not terrible.

00:48:41.996 --> 00:48:43.516
November 28th that's not terrible.

00:48:43.516 --> 00:48:43.918
That's not terrible.

00:48:43.918 --> 00:48:44.637
No, that's not terrible.

00:48:44.697 --> 00:48:46.059
Because it has that little thing in it.

00:48:46.059 --> 00:48:47.240
So I was like oh no.

00:48:47.240 --> 00:48:56.572
Yep, but I had it for a few years, so if I go through there's dog ears, I like to engage with my books too.

00:48:56.572 --> 00:49:07.601
Sure, yeah, I used to be really weird about about I don't know if it was from like school or whatever it's like you have to keep your books like perfect and like pristine, where now it's like nah, I just chop them up, not chop them up.

00:49:07.641 --> 00:49:21.878
Well, you make, you make notes of things you want to remember that like really connected with you yeah you know, like that's, and and I think I think that's what's great about that particular book because each day is just a short paragraph and each month is a different topic.

00:49:21.878 --> 00:49:24.992
In fact, november is is a more of a day.

00:49:25.331 --> 00:49:26.454
Is it yeah?

00:49:26.494 --> 00:49:27.358
That's weird.

00:49:27.358 --> 00:49:28.701
Stop it yeah.

00:49:29.704 --> 00:49:30.606
I'm going to double check this.

00:49:30.606 --> 00:49:31.829
Hold on, I got the book in front of me.

00:49:31.889 --> 00:49:32.931
Let's see, yeah, it is.

00:49:34.135 --> 00:49:34.697
Son of a bitch.

00:49:35.405 --> 00:49:36.306
Yeah, yeah.

00:49:38.030 --> 00:49:38.791
Yeah, so that's that's weird.

00:49:38.791 --> 00:49:40.434
Yeah, that's a great that's a great.

00:49:40.494 --> 00:49:49.844
That's a great month and one I one I reread a lot too, like even I try to stay on the day but like I'll jump around a little bit, um, but you but it's.

00:49:49.844 --> 00:49:53.036
But it's like, again, for managers it's really hard, like we're busy.

00:49:53.036 --> 00:50:08.672
So like that's a quick thing that you can read every morning and you take the time to just sit there and read this one thing, you know, write your thoughts down in your journal and then move on, and that's a great way to start a day, great way to clear your mind, great way to be 1% better every day.

00:50:08.672 --> 00:50:10.829
Yeah, that's the best we can do.

00:50:11.846 --> 00:50:13.632
I wasn't sure if it was one of his podcasts.

00:50:13.632 --> 00:50:25.713
I like his podcast, like some of his guests, but he was talking about the Daily Stoic and somebody, I guess, bought it and sent him a message like so it's September, should I wait till January 1st?

00:50:25.713 --> 00:50:31.958
He's like no, you start on the date that you get it Like yes, right Every day.

00:50:31.958 --> 00:50:37.481
It's like you know you just start and then it's a cyclical book, it just keeps on going.

00:50:44.206 --> 00:50:48.262
He also has one called the Daily dad yep, which which I also have, and I I typically will read the daily stoic in the morning and the daily dad at night.

00:50:48.262 --> 00:51:04.570
So, and, and they're, they're similar in their own way, but, um, you know, kind of you know, the other one is kind of hinged to being a parent and you know and kind of how you can use some of the philosophies in your parenting to, um, you know, be a better parent and be just, just be a better role model for your kids.

00:51:04.849 --> 00:51:06.434
Yeah, no, he's some good.

00:51:06.434 --> 00:51:07.255
He's a good stuff.

00:51:07.255 --> 00:51:11.014
You should, you should start another podcast like the the stoic manager or something.

00:51:12.045 --> 00:51:13.574
Well, I think I'm kind of already there.

00:51:13.574 --> 00:51:15.204
I think that's kind of what I'm doing.

00:51:15.204 --> 00:51:18.010
I mean, last couple episodes have been about the four stoic virtues.

00:51:18.010 --> 00:51:29.846
Each one, each one is is a is a touch on how you can use that particular virtue in, in at your club, and and and in your own life, and how you can be better with it.

00:51:30.067 --> 00:51:39.094
I think I'm kind of getting there anyway, uh, one way or another, and and you know, I didn't intend it to be that way, but I think with these podcasts you know how this goes.

00:51:39.094 --> 00:51:43.342
It just kind of goes where it goes and you let it happen.

00:51:43.342 --> 00:51:46.237
Yeah, and if you let it happen, sometimes good things.

00:51:46.237 --> 00:51:49.893
Sometimes you could find your way without even really knowing that you found your way, you know.

00:51:49.893 --> 00:51:55.487
So maybe that's where I'm headed, I don't know, but we'll see how it goes and I, I'm, I'm interested in, I'm interested in in.

00:51:55.487 --> 00:51:59.913
I love when people come to me and say like hey, I really got something out of that, cause.

00:51:59.913 --> 00:52:02.856
That means like I'm not doing it for me.

00:52:02.856 --> 00:52:18.152
I'm doing it for me, but I'm also doing it so that I can help other people that are like me that maybe struggle and can't have nowhere to go to talk about it, cause nobody understands what it's like to be a club manager, except for club managers.

00:52:18.773 --> 00:52:20.436
Yeah, no, I can.

00:52:20.436 --> 00:52:23.505
I can totally get that Cause it's the same but different.

00:52:23.505 --> 00:52:27.806
It's, like, you know, trying to describe to my wife sometimes like, like she, she would like watch.

00:52:27.806 --> 00:52:30.643
You know she might come to a show every now and then she'd be like, oh, like that was good.

00:52:30.643 --> 00:52:33.155
I'm like yeah, but, and like she can't like.

00:52:33.155 --> 00:52:35.543
Sometimes like yeah, but like but it was a good show.

00:52:35.543 --> 00:52:41.552
Like they were like yeah, but remember that thing, like that didn't go as planned and yeah, she's like no, but it was like yeah, you don't understand.

00:52:41.552 --> 00:52:46.380
Like, yeah, there's like this, similar things it's like, yeah, it's, it's, there's all.

00:52:46.460 --> 00:52:51.699
Every job has a little like kind of thing to it, that the quirky things, um.

00:52:51.699 --> 00:53:00.835
But I've learned in club management that like it's the being on all the time and it's the, it's the how integrated you get with a club.

00:53:00.835 --> 00:53:05.431
It becomes like your life, and that's good and bad.

00:53:05.431 --> 00:53:22.489
And I've learned that there has to be a little bit of a separation there and you've got to be able to come to your club with a clear head and you've got to be able to come to your home with a clear head and you've got to be able to come to your home with a clear head.

00:53:22.489 --> 00:53:26.612
And if both things are working in convergence together, then it's a good thing.

00:53:26.952 --> 00:53:43.282
But sometimes that doesn't happen and that's why I hate work-life balance, because that's not a thing that doesn't count, because in the summer, when you work like 20 days in a row, there is no work-life balance, but in the winter, when you have two months off, there is.

00:53:47.686 --> 00:54:06.173
So you have to realize that sometimes it's gonna be in one direction and sometimes it's gonna be in another, and be okay with that and just like my gauge to know that I'm on the right path, at least career-wise, is when I pull into my club, into the parking lot, do I have the same excitement that I had the first day I pulled in?

00:54:06.173 --> 00:54:13.217
The answer is yes, and when I lose that excitement then I know I'm not at the right club anymore.

00:54:13.217 --> 00:54:22.992
So managers could ask themselves that one question and say when you pull into the club in the morning, does your stomach turn over, are you like?

00:54:22.992 --> 00:54:23.713
Get me out of here.

00:54:23.713 --> 00:54:24.817
I can't wait till this is over.

00:54:24.817 --> 00:54:26.429
You're probably at the wrong club.

00:54:26.429 --> 00:54:28.195
That club's probably not serving you.

00:54:28.195 --> 00:54:36.007
If you're excited when you drive into the club, then you probably are at the right place, and I am, I know.

00:54:36.007 --> 00:54:38.050
I am because I know that feeling every day.

00:54:41.074 --> 00:54:41.894
This is so good.

00:54:41.894 --> 00:54:43.818
This is so good, this is so much better than I thought.

00:54:43.818 --> 00:54:46.501
Oh my goodness, I wasn't expecting it to be bad, but you know what I mean.

00:54:46.501 --> 00:54:47.804
Like just totally unexpected.

00:54:47.824 --> 00:54:49.186
This is so good Thanks, Thank you.

00:54:49.226 --> 00:54:50.512
So, so so much for coming on.

00:54:50.512 --> 00:54:52.693
Thank you for all you're doing for the industry.

00:54:52.693 --> 00:54:55.313
Your podcast is fantastic, Thanks.

00:54:55.313 --> 00:54:56.114
Thank you, man.

00:54:56.114 --> 00:54:57.106
I really really appreciate this.

00:54:57.106 --> 00:54:57.487
Thanks.

00:54:57.507 --> 00:54:57.827
Appreciate this.

00:54:57.827 --> 00:54:58.086
Thanks.

00:54:58.086 --> 00:54:59.068
Thanks for having me on, Denny.

00:54:59.068 --> 00:55:00.150
This is awesome.

00:55:00.150 --> 00:55:02.032
Had a great time chatting.

00:55:02.152 --> 00:55:03.855
Hope you all enjoyed that episode.

00:55:03.855 --> 00:55:04.695
I know I did.

00:55:04.695 --> 00:55:08.460
Jeff is such a wonderful dude, wonderful human, wonderful person.

00:55:08.460 --> 00:55:11.768
Jeff, thank you so much for coming on.

00:55:11.768 --> 00:55:16.831
Thank you so much for what you do for the industry with your podcast and just with you yourself as a leader.

00:55:16.831 --> 00:55:20.889
Highly recommend you check out his podcast, the Club Manager's Journal.

00:55:20.889 --> 00:55:22.971
Peter, highly recommend you check out his podcast, the Club Manager's Journal.

00:55:22.971 --> 00:55:23.871
It's on all major podcast platforms.

00:55:23.871 --> 00:55:28.556
Wherever you listen to this episode or this podcast, you can find his as well.

00:55:28.556 --> 00:55:31.481
But that's this episode, Until next time.

00:55:31.481 --> 00:55:32.762
I'm your host, Danny Corby.

00:55:32.762 --> 00:55:35.204
Catch y'all on the flippity flip.