April 21, 2025

437: Coaching, Consulting, and the Club Life in Between w/ Kevin Ehlert

Kevin Ehlert shares his journey from dishwasher to GM to consultant and certified coach, bringing a refreshing perspective on what leadership really looks like when you strip away the title, pressure, and 'always on' mentality that many GMs feel they must maintain.

• Starting as a dishwasher and working his way up through various city clubs
• The distinct differences between mentoring, coaching, and consulting 
• Why leaders often feel isolated and unable to show vulnerability
• How curiosity may be the most important leadership trait
• The value of continuous learning through books and shared experiences
• Finding ways to create safe spaces for leaders to be authentic
• Why we should celebrate milestones along our leadership journey
• Approaching leadership like orienteering - having a map but being flexible with the route

If you're enjoying the content, a like, share, subscribe costs nothing and does so much for the channel.









Follow us on the socials

Private Club Radio Instagram
Private Club Radio Linkedin

Denny Corby Instagram
Denny Corby Linkedin

00:00 - Welcome to Private Club Radio

04:43 - Kevin's Journey: From Dishwasher to GM

10:18 - Club Management Across Different Cities

22:59 - The Difference Between Coaching and Mentoring

33:28 - Book Recommendations for Leadership Growth

41:29 - Leadership Loneliness and Vulnerability

WEBVTT

00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:14.666
Hey everybody, welcome to the Private Club Radio Show, where we give you the scoop on all things private golf and country clubs from mastering leadership and management, food and beverage excellence, member engagement secrets, board governance and everything in between, all while keeping it fun and light.

00:00:14.666 --> 00:00:20.349
Whether you're a club veteran just getting your feet wet or somewhere in the middle, you are in the right place.

00:00:20.349 --> 00:00:22.082
I'm your host, denny Corby.

00:00:22.082 --> 00:00:23.606
Welcome to the show.

00:00:23.606 --> 00:00:35.182
In this episode I sit down with my friend, kevin Ellert, all the way from Wisconsin, from Wisconsin.

00:00:35.182 --> 00:00:36.485
And what a great guy, what a great person, a good human.

00:00:36.506 --> 00:00:41.802
I've known Kevin can't tell you how many years now five, six, seven, pre-pandemic, for sure.

00:00:41.802 --> 00:00:54.084
We met at a CMAA event the Wisconsin Badger many, many years ago and we got to chatting at CMAA and got to recording and it almost turned into a coaching session for me.

00:00:54.084 --> 00:00:57.503
It felt like, because then he started interviewing me and at one point I was like wait, what's going on here?

00:00:57.503 --> 00:01:12.174
But just a great person, a good human, starting off as a dishwasher to GM to now consultant and certified coach, and he brings a real refreshing perspective to the club space.

00:01:12.174 --> 00:01:26.040
We recorded this episode at the CMA conference back in Tampa and we talk about what leadership really looks like when you strip away the title, the pressure and that always on mentality that I think so many GMs think that they have to have.

00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:36.637
We talk about the difference between mentoring, coaching and just giving advice, why there's a bunch of managers who feel alone at the top and what we can do about that.

00:01:36.637 --> 00:01:42.397
And one of my favorite things is why curiosity might be the most important leadership trait of all.

00:01:42.899 --> 00:01:45.808
I'm super stoked to bring this episode for you all.

00:01:45.808 --> 00:01:47.462
We had a great conversation.

00:01:47.462 --> 00:01:59.006
Before we get to that, a quick thanks to some of our show partners Kenneth's Member, vetting Club, capital Group Members, first Golf Life Navigators and Concert Golf Partners, as well as myself.

00:01:59.006 --> 00:02:02.052
The Denny Corby Experience there's excitement, there's mystery.

00:02:02.052 --> 00:02:05.084
Also there's magic, mind reading, comedy and crowd work.

00:02:05.084 --> 00:02:11.181
One of the most fun, interactive, engaging experiences and shows you can bring to your members.

00:02:11.181 --> 00:02:12.324
Want to learn more?

00:02:12.324 --> 00:02:14.068
Head on over to dennycorbycom.

00:02:14.068 --> 00:02:35.512
But enough about that, let's get to the episode Private Club Radio.

00:02:35.532 --> 00:02:38.794
Let's welcome to the show.

00:02:38.794 --> 00:02:39.454
Kevin Eller.

00:02:39.454 --> 00:02:44.257
Kevin Ehlert Came over right after World War I and were embarrassed about what was happening in Germany.

00:02:44.598 --> 00:02:44.837
Yeah.

00:02:45.277 --> 00:02:53.347
So I wish they had just changed.

00:02:53.347 --> 00:02:55.132
You know American.

00:02:55.132 --> 00:02:57.729
They refused to speak German.

00:02:57.729 --> 00:03:01.450
My grandfather was born here and never learned German.

00:03:02.661 --> 00:03:03.986
There's a lot of families that are like that.

00:03:03.986 --> 00:03:04.783
There's some that will own and keep their traditions.

00:03:04.783 --> 00:03:05.469
Others are like we are going to modernize and not learned German.

00:03:05.469 --> 00:03:05.955
There's a lot of families that are like that.

00:03:05.955 --> 00:03:10.770
There's some that will own and keep their traditions, and others are like we are going to modernize and not adjust at all.

00:03:11.960 --> 00:03:16.623
And so Wells, minnesota, was German-Polish, and then I grew up in Bryson.

00:03:16.623 --> 00:03:19.489
We were out in the farm country, so just how the lines were drawn.

00:03:19.489 --> 00:03:40.305
So I went to Bryson, which is Norwegian, but during World War II there was a POW camp in Wells, just outside of town, and German POWs came over and were there and there was one guard at the gate and people they either worked at.

00:03:40.305 --> 00:03:44.591
So there was a Blue Bunny factory, there was a Del Monte canning factory in town and they had all the farmers.

00:03:44.591 --> 00:03:51.890
So there's a Blue Bunny factory, there was a Del Monte canning factory in town and they had all the farmers and they actually came over to family and so they had to spend.

00:03:51.890 --> 00:04:07.406
I think, if I remember they had to spend Friday night at the POW camp, otherwise Saturday through and maybe it was Saturday it was either Friday night night or saturday night.

00:04:07.406 --> 00:04:13.044
Wow, so like life in a pew w camp here was very different than in germany and what?

00:04:13.343 --> 00:04:15.169
what year was that then?

00:04:15.188 --> 00:04:19.526
in 1940s and they made.

00:04:19.526 --> 00:04:21.110
They had a hemp factory.

00:04:21.110 --> 00:04:29.846
They made rope for initially the factory made rope hemp for shipping and stuff and then it was all for the war yeah.

00:04:32.242 --> 00:04:36.149
And then were you the first person in your family to get in the clubs.

00:04:36.149 --> 00:04:38.687
How did you find your way?

00:04:38.687 --> 00:04:40.846
Was it school after school, during school?

00:04:42.023 --> 00:04:42.685
I fell into it.

00:04:42.685 --> 00:04:50.867
So I put my son like 15 years old, dad's, like you should have a job in the wintertime.

00:04:50.867 --> 00:04:56.528
I grew up on a farm so we worked, you know, spring through fall, but like get some pocket money.

00:04:56.528 --> 00:05:00.411
So I washed dishes at the Legion, no, at the pub.

00:05:00.411 --> 00:05:14.579
So there's Bryson's, this tiny town, there's two bars in town, and then the funny thing is aa was right behind it on the same, you know, same front main street pub, legion, aa on the backside.

00:05:14.579 --> 00:05:24.273
But so I'm 15, I'm washing dishes and about 10, 30 at night somebody out of the bar is yelling, hey, can you come and help?

00:05:24.273 --> 00:05:26.795
And the bartender had passed out.

00:05:26.795 --> 00:05:34.374
And so I, from 10, 30 till one at night, all I really did was open beer and pour straight.

00:05:34.374 --> 00:05:39.865
With 15, statute of limitations is gone.

00:05:39.865 --> 00:05:42.329
I'm sure I'm fine at this point, yeah.

00:05:42.750 --> 00:05:48.136
So in a sense, actually, truthfully, I got into this business through Boy Scouts.

00:05:48.136 --> 00:05:56.211
You know, you go to summer camp, yeah, you cook for four or five, six hundred people or you cook for your small group, stuff like that.

00:05:56.211 --> 00:05:59.670
So I got into the hospitality side that way.

00:05:59.670 --> 00:06:04.646
And then in college I worked in bars, restaurants, clubs.

00:06:04.646 --> 00:06:10.072
And then in college I worked in bars, restaurants, clubs, you know, go serve banquet server for a club when they need help and stuff like that.

00:06:10.072 --> 00:06:18.279
So that's how I kind of fell in and I went to school for physics and engineering.

00:06:22.990 --> 00:06:24.117
And then music and dance for minors.

00:06:29.100 --> 00:06:32.826
Well, I guess if you're going to properly jump, you should know the proper trajectory to jump off the foot and land properly.

00:06:32.826 --> 00:06:33.367
So the college piece.

00:06:33.367 --> 00:06:36.514
I thought I wanted to be an architect, be an engineer.

00:06:36.514 --> 00:06:59.173
I was the first one in our family to go to college Really so and I realized, as I was kind of finishing up, that there's no way I'm going to be a draftsman and an architect and sit in some office and draw.

00:06:59.173 --> 00:06:59.553
I'm an extrovert.

00:06:59.553 --> 00:07:01.600
I'm not a functioning extrovert.

00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:02.843
I'm not, you know.

00:07:02.843 --> 00:07:04.072
I'm like I need this and I need to help people.

00:07:04.072 --> 00:07:07.408
Where was your first management gig?

00:07:07.408 --> 00:07:16.334
It was at a little semi-private nine-hole golf course west side of the Twin Cities called River's Edge.

00:07:16.334 --> 00:07:20.189
They had a big banquet operation.

00:07:20.189 --> 00:07:25.709
They had a big restaurant and a cute little nine-hole golf course.

00:07:25.709 --> 00:07:33.452
There's a river that ran through it Darn thing flooded every spring, you know, because you know rain runoff in Minnesota was bad.

00:07:34.382 --> 00:07:35.026
Were you always in?

00:07:35.026 --> 00:07:36.923
No, because you were in Colorado for a bit right.

00:07:36.923 --> 00:07:38.348
No, no, you were always in Minnesota.

00:07:38.468 --> 00:07:43.189
Minnesota, wisconsin, and then I did spend seven years in California.

00:07:43.189 --> 00:07:49.725
That's what I was thinking California, so not in Folsom Prison, but what was the difference between?

00:07:50.459 --> 00:07:54.432
Because it had to be a slight change of pace from Minnesota to California.

00:07:54.680 --> 00:07:56.788
Yeah, I went from one city club to another.

00:07:56.788 --> 00:08:17.505
So I mean, and I actually went, so I managed a woman's club, the woman's club in Minneapolis, and then I went to the Sutter Club club, which had been a men's only club, um, and then so the state broke them and in they said they, california can't describe, yeah, you know.

00:08:17.505 --> 00:08:19.411
And they, they hated the setter club.

00:08:19.411 --> 00:08:34.246
It was right across from the capitol, very republican or very conservative club, and so the state said, fine, you can, um, you can discriminate by by sex if you want.

00:08:34.246 --> 00:08:41.024
And then they wrote a law that said no organizations that discriminate may have a liquor license.

00:08:41.024 --> 00:08:47.855
And so then the club put to a vote and it passed like 98%.

00:08:47.855 --> 00:09:18.046
They had like 10 votes, no, so their liquor license was more important than some stupid principle of not letting women in, where the women's club let men in in the 70s and actually I kind of went back and I read through their history they never prohibited men from joining, but in the 70s, you know, somebody passed away and the husband was like hey, can I keep the membership?

00:09:18.046 --> 00:09:22.969
You know our family's growing up here and they're like sure, we don't care.

00:09:22.969 --> 00:09:33.770
But yeah, it was a little different, um, although sacramento itself is a in a lot of senses, like the midwest.

00:09:33.770 --> 00:09:43.466
Uh, it's why, uh, the kings got all the crap about being a cow town, you know when, remember when, nba, all that.

00:09:43.466 --> 00:10:22.552
But no, it was a little different because Sacramento itself was a government town, like there was not Minneapolis, st Paul, twin Cities was so much more diverse, like you had Medtronic, boston Scientific, 3m, honeywell, like, I think, the biggest congregation of Fortune 500 companies and maybe still and so a very intellectually diverse, yeah, and not as much banking as you do find out, like in Des Moines or stuff like that.

00:10:22.552 --> 00:10:26.510
So it actually was a little.

00:10:26.510 --> 00:10:35.606
It wasn't nearly as diverse in some senses, and the pace of life in Sacramento was actually pretty slow.

00:10:35.606 --> 00:10:46.461
Really, it's a government town, nothing happens, and I don't mean to be disrespectful or mean, you know, and it was weird Back then.

00:10:46.461 --> 00:10:48.524
So it was 2008,.

00:10:49.205 --> 00:10:58.176
Sacramento's marketing was we're 90 minutes from San Francisco, we're 90 minutes from Lake Tahoe and we're 90 minutes from Napa Valley.

00:10:58.176 --> 00:11:03.412
And I remember getting working with a chamber group in the city.

00:11:03.412 --> 00:11:07.571
I'm like, why are you putting your marketing on three other places?

00:11:07.571 --> 00:11:11.946
You're the sixth largest economy in the world.

00:11:11.946 --> 00:11:12.648
It's here.

00:11:12.648 --> 00:11:17.466
Sure, it all happens elsewhere.

00:11:17.466 --> 00:11:18.109
It's here.

00:11:18.109 --> 00:11:22.323
Who cares about San Francisco or Napa or Tahoe?

00:11:22.323 --> 00:11:24.745
Own it Exactly, they didn't own it.

00:11:24.745 --> 00:11:26.509
Own it and exactly they didn't own it.

00:11:26.509 --> 00:11:30.253
So the town was slow, like we were a city club.

00:11:30.253 --> 00:11:33.235
We closed at 5 o'clock.

00:11:34.759 --> 00:11:36.423
We weren't open for dinner, because no one came.

00:11:36.562 --> 00:11:36.943
No one came.

00:11:36.943 --> 00:11:40.831
You know, they went out to the suburbs, went out to the country clubs at night.

00:11:40.831 --> 00:11:45.847
Lunch was booming, Yep, breakfast or no, we did breakfast.

00:11:45.847 --> 00:11:50.750
They shot themselves in the foot because where they served breakfast they required coat and tie.

00:11:50.750 --> 00:11:54.308
And here was the crazy thing.

00:11:54.308 --> 00:12:06.509
So we're in California, which is already laid back, yeah, and in town the lawyers didn't even wear a suit, except they had suits in their closets at work if they had to go to court.

00:12:06.509 --> 00:12:17.150
And on Fridays we were so slow, even at lunch, because we didn't allow jeans, and everybody, and I mean everybody in Sacramento, wore jeans on Friday.

00:12:17.150 --> 00:12:27.346
So, but they still wanted to be coat and tie, yeah, in that room, but yet they wouldn't come and use it.

00:12:27.346 --> 00:12:30.668
So, anyways.

00:12:32.260 --> 00:12:33.346
So how many city clubs were you at?

00:12:33.346 --> 00:12:34.684
Just those two.

00:12:34.705 --> 00:12:36.799
Those two, and then I did work in San Francisco.

00:12:36.799 --> 00:12:43.173
I did a year, a little over a year, doing consulting at a woman's club in San Francisco as well.

00:12:43.173 --> 00:12:45.889
So three big city clubs in my career.

00:12:46.701 --> 00:12:53.248
And then what made you pivot, from management to the consulting and things that you're doing now consulting and coaching.

00:12:53.941 --> 00:12:57.028
I think finding you know one, finding a way to give back.

00:12:57.028 --> 00:12:57.990
I've always been a coach.

00:12:57.990 --> 00:12:59.653
How so?

00:12:59.653 --> 00:13:05.532
Even back in high school, people asked for help.

00:13:05.532 --> 00:13:16.505
I'd see someone who needed help with something and I'm not talking about they need help with math or stuff like that, but life stuff and so I think part of it.

00:13:16.505 --> 00:13:22.730
I'll go back to Boy Scouts, because there, in some senses, they teach you how to mentor.

00:13:23.821 --> 00:13:25.466
What's the difference between a mentor and a coach?

00:13:25.466 --> 00:13:27.191
Is there?

00:13:29.299 --> 00:13:31.688
Mentors usually don't get paid Coaches.

00:13:31.688 --> 00:13:41.548
Do you know, a coach is somewhat transactional, it doesn't mean you don't care for clients and things like that.

00:13:41.548 --> 00:13:59.431
But with a mentor you're building a relationship and usually it's someone older and someone younger, but you know the the mentee is meant to have a built, have built trust and have a safe space.

00:13:59.431 --> 00:14:01.662
I guess that's the popular word term now.

00:14:01.662 --> 00:14:07.182
But you know, hey, I don't know how to do this, or I'm scared of this, or you know.

00:14:07.523 --> 00:14:10.788
So is it more like tough love versus like.

00:14:10.788 --> 00:14:18.080
So is it more like mentoring is a little bit more hand-holding, whereas coaching is a little bit more like, okay, shut up and just do it.

00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:20.128
Like a little bit more I want to say no, shut up and do it is consulting, okay.

00:14:20.148 --> 00:14:28.664
So I got Shut up and do it is consulting, okay.

00:14:28.664 --> 00:14:28.845
Okay.

00:14:28.845 --> 00:14:34.289
So I got certified as a coach this year, like I've done this forever, I've never been certified.

00:14:34.289 --> 00:14:36.631
And so I took this sabbatical.

00:14:36.631 --> 00:14:39.994
My wife was like you should get certified, you should.

00:14:39.994 --> 00:14:41.436
You know, you've been doing this forever.

00:14:41.436 --> 00:14:43.977
And I found out I was doing about 30% of it wrong.

00:14:43.977 --> 00:14:44.717
You know, that's a big change forever.

00:14:44.717 --> 00:14:46.139
And I found out I was doing about 30% of it wrong.

00:14:46.139 --> 00:14:47.865
You know, and that's a big Sure.

00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:56.833
And so here's the deal as a consultant, you tell your client or the company this is what's wrong, here's how you fix it.

00:14:56.833 --> 00:15:02.366
As a coach, you ask questions and truthfully, and then I'll talk.

00:15:02.366 --> 00:15:04.025
The mentee piece I'll talk about as well.

00:15:04.025 --> 00:15:12.139
So, as a coach, you ask some questions, leading questions, you listen and then you want them to have the aha moment or the light bulb go off.

00:15:12.139 --> 00:15:17.312
You know, sometimes be visit, but it.

00:15:17.312 --> 00:15:23.765
And every once, while it opens, you know, the Sun comes out and yeah, and the angels say, but you.

00:15:23.765 --> 00:15:28.695
And so what I was doing wrong is I was conflating coaching and consulting a little bit.

00:15:28.695 --> 00:15:31.869
I was too eager to tell you what was wrong.

00:15:31.869 --> 00:15:36.788
You know, and sometimes you have to the client has to struggle through.

00:15:36.788 --> 00:15:38.493
You know, really has to struggle through.

00:15:38.493 --> 00:15:41.128
Yeah, and I mean, all of us have blocks.

00:15:41.128 --> 00:15:53.567
I have blocks even to this day, and you want to help them work through that block and it's best for them if they do it and they're guided through, as opposed to you telling them they're blocked.

00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:54.621
Is that sort of like.

00:15:54.621 --> 00:16:04.807
The difference too between like a, I guess, like a more experienced coach is like when you're first you get it, you're more eager and you want to just like see them get the results and like that's it.

00:16:04.807 --> 00:16:11.067
But it's like as you kind of grow a little bit, you're like oh no, this has to be right, and a coach is not a therapist, like it's.

00:16:11.928 --> 00:16:24.346
Like it's, it's very easy to get sucked in, um, and so I mean, I have a couple of therapists for people, um, like, I always encourage them, hey, do you have someone that you know if you're a spiritual person, you know.

00:16:24.346 --> 00:16:28.232
Do you have someone at your you know if it's a church or whatever that is?

00:16:28.232 --> 00:16:29.033
You know.

00:16:29.033 --> 00:16:34.607
But some of these things are therapy, they're not coaching, you know.

00:16:34.607 --> 00:16:38.028
You know sometimes you're dealing with mental illness or you know.

00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:43.745
So the difference between coach, mentor and consultant.

00:16:44.145 --> 00:16:52.755
So the mentor piece, I think it's both consulting and coaching.

00:16:52.755 --> 00:16:57.907
But I have a couple of people that we have been.

00:16:57.907 --> 00:17:10.343
They started off as a mentor, as a mentee, 10, 15 years ago 15 years ago the one I'm thinking of specifically and we still connect.

00:17:10.343 --> 00:17:20.244
So here's the thing, I think, with a mentee the question what do you want to be when you grow up?

00:17:20.244 --> 00:17:21.887
Magician, okay.

00:17:21.887 --> 00:17:23.851
But now what does that mean?

00:17:23.851 --> 00:17:26.114
Let's dig into that a little bit.

00:17:26.114 --> 00:17:26.694
What does that mean?

00:17:26.694 --> 00:17:28.306
What do you want to be five years from now?

00:17:28.306 --> 00:17:31.827
Do you still want to be a magician?

00:17:31.827 --> 00:17:36.359
If the answer is no, you want to be something else.

00:17:36.359 --> 00:17:48.083
Or do you want to have, five years from now, I want to be on Penn Teller, I want to be featured, those types of things.

00:17:48.083 --> 00:18:03.473
Five years from now, I want to have kids, or I want to open up a magic school, all those types of things, and so having that relationship, you're asked that question all the time.

00:18:03.473 --> 00:18:10.455
My youngest daughter came home from christmas and we've had our first serious conversation.

00:18:10.455 --> 00:18:11.861
She's like dad, what do you want to be when you grow up?

00:18:11.861 --> 00:18:14.865
She asked you, she asked me.

00:18:14.865 --> 00:18:17.530
We still, we still do so.

00:18:17.530 --> 00:18:19.193
I have some.

00:18:19.394 --> 00:18:25.012
I grew up on a farm and my grandmother said some very inspiring things to me.

00:18:25.012 --> 00:18:27.446
One God gave you two ears and one mouth.

00:18:27.446 --> 00:18:28.509
Use them accordingly.

00:18:28.509 --> 00:18:41.306
Two if you're not learning, you're dying, and unfortunately she lost her eyesight later in life and so she couldn't read anymore, and that just was so hard for her.

00:18:41.306 --> 00:18:50.688
But she's like you need to learn and learn from books, learn from people, and so I've had this thirst for knowledge.

00:18:50.688 --> 00:18:59.474
You know it's something that was instilled in us as just and it wasn't you have to do this.

00:18:59.474 --> 00:19:00.605
It just, it was natural.

00:19:00.605 --> 00:19:01.740
It was what our family did.

00:19:01.740 --> 00:19:05.443
It was natural, it was what our family did.

00:19:05.443 --> 00:19:12.088
So I try to, as a mentor and as a coach, I try to instill that in people.

00:19:12.088 --> 00:19:15.071
Some people hate reading books.

00:19:15.071 --> 00:19:16.393
I have one daughter.

00:19:16.393 --> 00:19:24.726
It's hard sometimes, yeah, so she listens to podcasts, she listens to books on tape Yep Now you're dating yourself.

00:19:28.442 --> 00:19:28.884
Books on tape.

00:19:28.903 --> 00:19:29.325
Audible.

00:19:29.325 --> 00:19:30.567
Oh, my books on tape audible, oh my gosh.

00:19:30.567 --> 00:19:30.888
I just did.

00:19:30.888 --> 00:19:32.012
Books on cassette, oh my gosh, this is awesome.

00:19:32.012 --> 00:19:41.678
I'm hey, I'm old, I'm old actually, yeah, we won't go there, but uh, you know, and I mean, my audible library is monstrous, by the way.

00:19:41.678 --> 00:19:43.483
So, but Do I compare?

00:19:43.483 --> 00:19:44.125
No, no.

00:19:44.125 --> 00:19:52.490
And then I have another daughter she reads and she just wants the book.

00:19:52.490 --> 00:19:58.490
And then I have another daughter She'll do podcasts and stuff.

00:19:58.490 --> 00:20:05.292
She doesn't have to pay tons of attention, but she wants it on Kindle, she wants it digital.

00:20:05.292 --> 00:20:11.752
So three different daughters, three different types of consuming knowledge.

00:20:11.859 --> 00:20:14.730
Do any of them do the book and the audio.

00:20:14.730 --> 00:20:23.372
So I'm a big fan of doing both, because sometimes, even though I'll read or I'll listen, my brain will just go off.

00:20:23.372 --> 00:20:24.441
But I can.

00:20:24.441 --> 00:20:39.442
If I read they're not always like in in in perfect sync, but like it'll just help me get through it, or I can just get things a little bit better interesting or like sometimes, if I know like what's already sort of coming, I can like comprehend it and take it in like a little bit differently and better.

00:20:39.461 --> 00:20:48.009
Yeah, like, for me like, and I don't have any particular way, but I buy a lot of things on both.

00:20:48.009 --> 00:20:49.246
It drives my wife crazy.

00:20:49.246 --> 00:20:51.980
Why don't you One?

00:20:51.980 --> 00:20:56.867
So I try to buy cheap used books all the time, unless I want one that I really think is important.

00:20:56.867 --> 00:21:00.930
But I'll listen to the same thing.

00:21:00.930 --> 00:21:02.324
But I don't do it side by side.

00:21:02.324 --> 00:21:03.006
That's interesting.

00:21:03.708 --> 00:21:13.753
It's not always, because I know on Audible and Kindle you can have them sync, so where you stop listening it'll pick up on the kindle and vice versa.

00:21:13.753 --> 00:21:24.211
Like it could, they can, but I just like I was like listen to it, then I'll also like just read it, but I don't keep them in like perfect, like harmony yeah, I like.

00:21:24.332 --> 00:21:25.835
I like writing in books, me too.

00:21:25.835 --> 00:21:28.000
My books have notes and tags.

00:21:28.848 --> 00:21:38.691
I wasn't for a while, I think, because growing up in school they're like you can't ruin the book, you can't do X, y and Z, and I have some expensive magic books.

00:21:38.691 --> 00:21:42.844
And now, over the past couple of years I'm just like screw it.

00:21:42.844 --> 00:21:55.348
Now I'm just doggier pages, just writing them, some of the real expensive ones, like it's like post-it notes, like I won't like destroy, but like it's just engaging with the book, like just yeah, just I don't know.

00:21:55.348 --> 00:22:04.782
And then there is something like to be said like I have friends with libraries or like in mint condition, they're just like read it like it's a book, it's just paper, just engage with it.

00:22:05.404 --> 00:22:07.148
Um, so yeah do you give books to people?

00:22:07.148 --> 00:22:08.751
Yeah, do you write in them?

00:22:08.751 --> 00:22:16.736
I do like like go in the middle of the book I, I have, so, so, uh, uh, I got my first.

00:22:17.017 --> 00:22:24.681
The uh sean blile sent me up two books for christmas and like there was where his business card was, was like a highlighted section.

00:22:24.681 --> 00:22:26.344
Whatever he's like, I think you'll like whatever it was.

00:22:26.344 --> 00:22:33.575
And I was like, oh man, like that was just powerful, like it was like oh, oh, still gives me the chills.

00:22:33.775 --> 00:22:43.942
No, so, and I don't necessarily do this to be sneaky, but, like with some of my coaching clients, I put a ten dollar bill in the book.

00:22:43.942 --> 00:22:46.407
I give them and and and a note.

00:22:46.407 --> 00:22:52.067
You know, hey, you know, starbucks on me, or well, there's no jamba juice in the midwest, you know.

00:22:52.067 --> 00:23:10.842
But, yeah, you know, you know, and if and if I know that they like some somewhere, I'm like, you know, hey, fiddleheads on on me, um, and then, because sometimes we're doing some of the coaching through, you know, excerpts in the book, I give them a book that's meaningful, not not just a random book, and then you know we're talking.

00:23:10.842 --> 00:23:15.531
I can tell a little bit that they're, you know, giving me a snow job because they haven't.

00:23:15.531 --> 00:23:25.409
Yeah, you got to do the homework, yeah, and I'm like, so how'd you enjoy the coffee or the jamba juice?

00:23:25.409 --> 00:23:33.653
And then, and then they realize, and so they go home and yeah you know, they're like oh that's funny.

00:23:34.173 --> 00:23:35.880
What are some of your favorite books to recommend?

00:23:38.544 --> 00:23:41.628
um, so I'm going to give a shameless plug.

00:23:41.628 --> 00:23:42.750
Um three and jack.

00:23:42.750 --> 00:23:46.343
Jackie carpenter wrote a great book called people first.

00:23:46.343 --> 00:23:50.759
You know from a, you know if you're, if you're looking to help your team, jackie Carpenter wrote a great book called People First.

00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:54.768
If you're looking to help your team, take care of people.

00:23:54.768 --> 00:23:55.529
It's fabulous, darn it.

00:23:55.529 --> 00:23:57.576
Why didn't I write this book?

00:23:57.576 --> 00:23:59.763
Yes, yes, yes, we've needed this for so long.

00:23:59.763 --> 00:24:11.407
There's an interesting one called the One Thing, so that's a good one Chewing Through.

00:24:11.407 --> 00:24:27.194
So I've read Unreasonable Hospitality several times and listened to that several times so, and I've become a coach and a consultant with them.

00:24:27.194 --> 00:24:35.086
But I highly recommend that if you're looking to elevate your business and I don't care what your business is- it's a good, it's just good.

00:24:36.851 --> 00:24:40.746
You can take it into manufacturing dog grooming.

00:24:40.746 --> 00:24:43.729
Certainly it's hospitality.

00:24:43.729 --> 00:24:45.546
Every business is hospitality.

00:24:45.546 --> 00:24:53.669
No, they think well, and yes, it is exactly yeah, because in the end I don't care about all this technology.

00:24:54.872 --> 00:25:07.692
In the end it's going to come down to this, so but so, yeah, one of my uh actually a guest I just had on had chadman, he was downstairs um, we're recording live at cmaa show.

00:25:07.692 --> 00:25:17.758
We uh he recommended the the art of possibility and it's uh, it's like a conductor and and a psychologist when you listen to it.

00:25:17.758 --> 00:25:20.184
The interlude music is like his music.

00:25:20.184 --> 00:25:22.832
My oldest daughter is listening to it.

00:25:22.832 --> 00:25:24.537
Yeah, it's really good.

00:25:24.537 --> 00:25:35.189
It's really good uh, and sometimes you ever just you don't like I don't fully remember the book, but just knowing what the title is just gives you like enough, like good to great.

00:25:35.189 --> 00:25:38.540
You just got to know, like, what the title is and you're like all right, it's still pretty good.

00:25:38.560 --> 00:25:42.109
Uh, one of my favorites I give it out a lot is uh, the.

00:25:42.109 --> 00:25:43.292
It's called the third door.

00:25:43.292 --> 00:25:47.951
It's by alex benignan and, uh, if you listen to it, it's a great story.

00:25:47.951 --> 00:26:00.114
The short story long is he hacked his way onto the Price is Right and it just talks about how, in life and anything, there's three ways to get into something.

00:26:00.114 --> 00:26:04.171
So if there's like a nightclub, there's the front door that everybody goes through.

00:26:04.171 --> 00:26:06.528
There's the VIP door that you might have to know some people pay actually to goes through.

00:26:06.528 --> 00:26:08.660
There's the VIP door that you know you might have to know some people who pay actually to get through.

00:26:08.980 --> 00:26:17.525
But you know there's a third way in which you might have to crawl through the kitchen window and then put on a chef's outfit and pretend like you work there and get through, but like you can find your way in.

00:26:17.525 --> 00:26:19.448
So it's just like there's always a way in.

00:26:19.448 --> 00:26:22.883
There's always like a third door, so kind of like the art of possibility.

00:26:22.883 --> 00:26:24.865
It's just like there's always a way.

00:26:24.865 --> 00:26:32.112
But it's a great story and just how he connected and just how he just worked his way up to now a best-selling author, it's just a great story.

00:26:32.112 --> 00:26:35.595
The Third Door it's one of those two.

00:26:35.595 --> 00:26:36.976
It's easy to read.

00:26:39.880 --> 00:26:42.547
Sometimes you read a business book or something you're like.

00:26:42.547 --> 00:26:43.730
Cut it with the big words, we get it.

00:26:43.730 --> 00:26:47.248
It's just a great, great story.

00:26:49.740 --> 00:26:50.422
Brian Dodge wrote a book.

00:26:50.422 --> 00:26:51.984
Book, I don't know if you know who brian dodge is sounds familiar.

00:26:51.984 --> 00:26:55.612
Um, he hates this.

00:26:55.612 --> 00:27:05.463
If, if he ever caught this podcast, I'd get yelled at, and it's not like I know him personally really, but, um, he's a motivational speaker, okay, and and it's common sense stuff.

00:27:05.463 --> 00:27:10.852
But he wrote a book called the good life rules and I'll send you one.

00:27:10.852 --> 00:27:12.334
I think I've got two copies.

00:27:12.334 --> 00:27:14.800
I'll send you one when I get back to milwaukee.

00:27:14.800 --> 00:27:18.768
Um, and then what else have I read?

00:27:18.768 --> 00:27:21.051
That's good, I don't know.

00:27:21.051 --> 00:27:28.752
I've read like 12 books in the last four weeks or five weeks, so I that's what an average person reads.

00:27:29.461 --> 00:27:30.787
An average person reads one a week.

00:27:30.787 --> 00:27:33.327
The average person reads like one a year.

00:27:33.327 --> 00:27:38.632
The average CEO or successful leader reads like 52 or even like 26 or something like what it is.

00:27:39.160 --> 00:27:45.145
So I was slouching a little because I was doing some certifications and a lot of studying and stuff.

00:27:45.145 --> 00:27:48.490
So I was playing some catch up over Christmas.

00:27:48.490 --> 00:28:03.500
But my oldest daughter, two years ago, three years ago, she set a goal to read a hundred books in the year and she did extra pleasure reading.

00:28:03.500 --> 00:28:08.066
That wasn't and she's a voracious reader.

00:28:09.261 --> 00:28:14.405
I'm a fast reader, as is she One of those people who can finish Harry Potter in a full day?

00:28:14.405 --> 00:28:14.907
How?

00:28:14.948 --> 00:28:15.490
in the world.

00:28:15.490 --> 00:28:19.286
She did that actually in book two or three or something.

00:28:19.507 --> 00:28:20.851
I started reading when I was younger.

00:28:20.851 --> 00:28:23.345
I got the first one and I read it.

00:28:23.345 --> 00:28:28.788
It took me a minute and then I started reading the second one.

00:28:28.788 --> 00:28:33.788
When I started reading the second one, the third one was coming out and I just saw how progressively thicker they were getting.

00:28:33.788 --> 00:28:36.858
I was like I'm going to wait for the movies.

00:28:36.858 --> 00:28:41.010
Sometimes, when the too big, too many stories, my brain, I don't read.

00:28:41.010 --> 00:28:49.648
Well, when there's too many characters like I, too many characters, I start, I can't always focus.

00:28:49.648 --> 00:29:02.065
So sometimes I like to even like, sometimes even like I know people hate it but like watching a movie or something first and then I can read it, cause then I could, like, I could, I can grasp and understand, like the ideas and stuff.

00:29:03.987 --> 00:29:05.990
Have you, have you heard of Donald Miller?

00:29:05.990 --> 00:29:07.330
There's a couple Donald Millers.

00:29:07.632 --> 00:29:09.192
Building a story brand Yep.

00:29:09.192 --> 00:29:10.355
Are you talking about a different?

00:29:10.634 --> 00:29:11.836
one, yep, no, actually that's the one.

00:29:11.836 --> 00:29:17.631
Yeah, there's a book, blue Like Jazz, and he wrote it a long time ago.

00:29:17.631 --> 00:29:21.922
Blue Like Jazz, yep, and it's really his life story in some senses.

00:29:21.922 --> 00:29:25.685
It's really his life story in some senses.

00:29:25.685 --> 00:29:51.123
But it's funny, the woman that is in his book, actually we knew what when we moved to California this is an old book, sorry yeah, she was the girlfriend in that book and she had, you know, they they had separated, she'd married someone else.

00:29:51.123 --> 00:29:52.705
Their kids and our kids are the same age.

00:29:53.086 --> 00:30:07.605
They were doing theater in the theater group that my wife helped start out in Sacramento and and I said to her, I happened to mention to her actually, actually Cheryl did, we had gone to the Orange conference in atlanta.

00:30:07.605 --> 00:30:30.709
It was for, like, children's ministries and they had donald miller speaking there and, um, I met him, I was in a couple of his classes, um, and we were doing we interact a little bit afterwards and then I read his book blue like jazz, and cheryl was was raving about how great this conference was, and Donald Miller and she goes, what?

00:30:30.709 --> 00:30:34.480
And I'm like, yeah, it's the guy who wrote Blue Like Jazz.

00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:37.827
And she kind of was like I have to tell you something?

00:30:37.827 --> 00:30:50.569
It was me, well, and she hadn't read the book, so she didn't, you know, and there's nothing bad in it, but it's just like, how small a world is it?

00:30:50.569 --> 00:30:57.192
And then now, all these years later, I've kind of circled back and I'm working with their organization a little bit.

00:30:59.261 --> 00:31:10.316
As we wrap up, what are the common I don't want to say themes, but issues that maybe you've run across with your coaching people and the common solution?

00:31:10.316 --> 00:31:18.392
Is there one common thing that you've run into a lot, and then what do you see as the relief to that?

00:31:18.392 --> 00:31:22.465
Okay, I don't know if I phrased that right.

00:31:22.465 --> 00:31:24.226
I think you're picking up what I'm putting down.

00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:36.530
So I have some non-club management clients I guess I call them and some club management clients.

00:31:36.530 --> 00:31:48.606
There's a common theme, regardless of this industry, and if they're the person at the top, they're lonely, they can't be vulnerable like.

00:31:48.606 --> 00:31:55.208
I can't let my board know, um, that I'm scared, hurt, stressed.

00:31:55.208 --> 00:32:11.701
I can't let my staff know, because I gotta be the pillar, I you know, um, and the like, the business owner or the you know, and if they don't own the business but they're running the business for someone else, like, like, they can't be vulnerable you know, and they're lonely, like that's.

00:32:11.883 --> 00:32:12.886
It's a lonely position.

00:32:12.886 --> 00:32:26.333
And it's even worse is if you can't be vulnerable with your spouse or partner or whatever that is, if you don't have someone out there, and if you're a good German Lutheran farm stock, you stuff it all inside.

00:32:26.333 --> 00:32:28.126
Oh, that was me, but you know you stuff it all inside.

00:32:28.126 --> 00:32:29.298
Oh, that was me, but you know, you stuff it all inside.

00:32:29.298 --> 00:32:42.833
And you know there's something you know I'm not trying to get on a soapbox on American culture, but until recently it hasn't been cool to you know, share your emotions.

00:32:44.060 --> 00:32:48.252
Even now, here at the conference, I feel like a big theme is, you know, cerebral wellness.

00:32:49.402 --> 00:32:53.412
This is a much needed, welcome, drastic change.

00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:58.945
I mean almost from main sessions to on stage, to the breakouts, to even the little tiny little.

00:32:58.945 --> 00:33:00.807
You know, that's where a coach comes in.

00:33:10.260 --> 00:33:12.730
And as a coach like I, have to build your trust.

00:33:12.730 --> 00:33:18.667
You have to trust me to ever be vulnerable, and so it's been good for me too.

00:33:18.667 --> 00:33:22.009
I mean, you know, I have to be real with them.

00:33:22.009 --> 00:33:31.054
If I'm fake with you, know someone, whether it's, you know, a mentee, a business owner in consulting or a coach if I'm fake, they pick up on it.

00:33:31.054 --> 00:33:32.036
Oh easy.

00:33:32.036 --> 00:33:40.068
We were just having a conversation with a manager downstairs about neuroscience and not being aware.

00:33:40.068 --> 00:33:51.067
For some people it comes easy Thank goodness for me it's come easy but other people it comes easy Thank goodness for me it's come easy but other people it doesn't.

00:33:51.067 --> 00:33:55.747
And you don't pick up on those cues and some people are really good at hiding.

00:33:55.747 --> 00:34:15.713
And so I think, working through problems with people and helping them know and I don't necessarily have all the answers on it, but I can be a resource and help you find the answer for that particular thing um, you know, help them.

00:34:17.523 --> 00:34:20.047
A lot of this is identify the problem.

00:34:20.047 --> 00:34:23.271
Um, what do you want to do about the problem?

00:34:23.271 --> 00:34:28.710
Set goals, um, make a plan and work the plan.

00:34:28.710 --> 00:34:36.525
You know, it's kind of a five, six-step piece and then celebrate when you're done, actually celebrate every one of those goals.

00:34:36.525 --> 00:34:41.367
When you accomplish them, celebrate every one of those milestones.

00:34:41.367 --> 00:34:43.485
I mean, have you ever done?

00:34:43.485 --> 00:34:44.849
Do you know what orienteering is?

00:34:44.849 --> 00:34:58.813
No, so it's lost art because of MapQuest and Google Maps and all those things, but it's taking a map and a compass and going from point A to point B without getting lost.

00:34:58.813 --> 00:35:06.934
So, and there's lots of ways, like you know, I'm going to circle all the way back to Boy Scouts.

00:35:07.019 --> 00:35:14.242
You know we did a lot of hiking, yeah, and we're hiking through the black hills and we had like four routes that we could take to get there.

00:35:14.242 --> 00:35:16.949
It doesn't no route was right.

00:35:16.949 --> 00:35:20.338
Each one had a pitfall that was somewhat major.

00:35:20.338 --> 00:35:30.784
You know we're carrying 50 pound packs and sometimes canoes and stuff like that and like some routes you shouldn't take, like especially if you had younger kids who didn't have as much strength.

00:35:30.784 --> 00:35:32.849
Um, and other routes.

00:35:33.090 --> 00:35:40.655
You know you're climbing or, however you go, make a plan to get there.

00:35:40.655 --> 00:35:45.483
If you have to make a detour, fine, make it purposefully, not just willy-nilly.

00:35:45.483 --> 00:35:52.735
You know, and if you have that plan, you know that map, that compass to guide you through.

00:35:52.735 --> 00:36:02.806
I try to give imagery to people on how to use you know how to use that and if you know somebody's into something else.

00:36:02.806 --> 00:36:04.451
You know that's relatable.

00:36:04.451 --> 00:36:10.059
I try to use that as opposed to you know orienteering.

00:36:10.059 --> 00:36:11.550
People are like what the hell is that?

00:36:11.550 --> 00:36:14.567
You know that doesn't make sense, but orienteering.

00:36:14.567 --> 00:36:19.601
But so when you were little, what did you aspire to be?

00:36:19.601 --> 00:36:22.056
Do you want to be a football player or basketball player?

00:36:22.056 --> 00:36:23.681
Yeah, okay.

00:36:23.681 --> 00:36:26.117
So did you make a plan?

00:36:26.117 --> 00:36:32.030
No, okay, I think you did Without knowing you did.

00:36:32.490 --> 00:36:33.132
No, I mean.

00:36:33.132 --> 00:36:49.563
So I worked for my family business and they were the ones that because to me I didn't know from my family business, and they were the ones that because to me I I didn't know it was, so I wasn't around the right people or the magicians I saw weren't quote-unquote successful.

00:36:49.563 --> 00:36:54.521
But once I was like, oh, there's people who do make a good living at it and they don't do kid shows.

00:36:54.521 --> 00:36:57.335
There's, like others, there's other avenues with it.

00:36:57.335 --> 00:37:02.954
Once I saw that, even even even with that, I was still like, wasn't sure it was my family pushed me.

00:37:02.954 --> 00:37:05.436
I was working for the family business, like, listen, we know you love the entertainment.

00:37:05.436 --> 00:37:07.494
We don't want you to be 30, 40, 50.

00:37:07.494 --> 00:37:08.960
Go and try it.

00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:10.175
You can always come back here.

00:37:10.175 --> 00:37:12.291
We just don't want you to be like what if I would have tried?

00:37:12.291 --> 00:37:24.106
So then I, you know, once I pushed off the ledge, jumped without the parachute and after a year of putting up a website, going, oh, people booked me and realized you have to put work in.

00:37:24.106 --> 00:37:29.070
So like there was.

00:37:29.090 --> 00:37:31.916
I guess once it was in place, but, like earlier on, it wasn't.

00:37:31.916 --> 00:37:33.739
I'm going to ask a couple questions.

00:37:33.739 --> 00:37:42.534
So how did I have a suspicion I'm going to make a guess first that you watched as many magicians as you could always?

00:37:42.534 --> 00:37:50.916
Yeah, okay, so, and you knew when somebody was going to be on or how to get some, so you made some plans to watch that like the world's greatest magic, best show.

00:37:50.916 --> 00:37:51.597
Yeah, okay.

00:37:51.597 --> 00:37:54.931
How did you learn the sleight of hand stuff?

00:37:54.931 --> 00:37:57.375
Like you bought books or you bought resources?

00:37:57.375 --> 00:38:02.684
Um, I don't know a lot about it, but there's kits that I know that you can buy.

00:38:04.210 --> 00:38:06.317
It's like once you get past the kits, there's magic shop.

00:38:06.317 --> 00:38:11.260
There's books on everything with magic, so there's books.

00:38:11.260 --> 00:38:13.737
Now there used to be videos, now it's streaming.

00:38:13.737 --> 00:38:18.697
There's people who you can just learn, so just like a similar coach, whatever.

00:38:18.697 --> 00:38:21.239
There's other magicians that you can learn that they teach there.

00:38:21.239 --> 00:38:28.855
There's other magicians that are phenomenal sleight of hands and great with routines, but they suck as performers, so like they make routines.

00:38:28.855 --> 00:38:29.958
There's magic consultants.

00:38:29.958 --> 00:38:34.601
They help with like your stuff, with your shtick and all that jazz.

00:38:35.030 --> 00:38:35.711
So how much?

00:38:35.711 --> 00:38:37.878
I'm interviewing you now.

00:38:37.938 --> 00:38:40.396
in some senses I know I might have to edit this down.

00:38:42.052 --> 00:38:44.780
Or use more of it somewhere else, but like.

00:38:44.780 --> 00:38:52.940
So you knew always that you wanted to be a magician, I think so, Okay, or so it was entertainment of probably some sort.

00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:55.135
It's like I'm a very outgoing person.

00:38:55.135 --> 00:39:04.737
So just that you know, I used to work in retail, retail stuff when I was just in high school too, and so just that you know, I used to work in retail stuff when I was just in high school too, Even though I worked for my dad but always had little weird jobs and stuff.

00:39:04.777 --> 00:39:07.518
Like I think you just one, you love performing.

00:39:07.518 --> 00:39:09.840
I would say you're a performer first.

00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:11.422
You're an entertainer.

00:39:11.422 --> 00:39:13.704
Yeah, entertainer, you know.

00:39:13.704 --> 00:39:15.967
And magic is the way you.

00:39:17.030 --> 00:39:17.512
It's just a tool.

00:39:17.512 --> 00:39:19.679
It's just how I can stay on stage without being boring.

00:39:22.311 --> 00:39:23.536
I don't know that you'd ever be boring.

00:39:23.536 --> 00:39:30.989
So we met in 2018, maybe I think it was 17 or 18.

00:39:30.989 --> 00:39:40.081
You were up in Milwaukee, yep, and you brought me up because I had a $100 bill my favorite trick and I'm like, oh crap, I'm losing a hundred dollar bill, my favorite trick.

00:39:40.081 --> 00:39:40.797
And I'm like, oh crap, I'm losing a hundred dollar bill.

00:39:40.797 --> 00:39:54.583
And you had me write my name in this wide old red sharpie, kevin, and I watched you do the trick and and I like figuring stuff out, yeah, and I had kind of figured it out, I just BS.

00:39:54.583 --> 00:39:59.157
No, I can tell you, I can tell off camera, off camera, but I camera.

00:39:59.157 --> 00:40:06.514
But I still, even though I thought I still was like, oh my gosh, this is so amazing, but I just got rid of that $100 bill.

00:40:06.755 --> 00:40:07.016
Really.

00:40:07.250 --> 00:40:08.717
Yes, not on purpose.

00:40:10.153 --> 00:40:14.563
It only happened recently Twice in less than two months.

00:40:14.563 --> 00:40:19.655
Everyone always like two people were like can I trade you, I don't want?

00:40:19.655 --> 00:40:20.219
They were like afraid.

00:40:20.219 --> 00:40:21.250
Two people were like can I trade you, I don't want?

00:40:21.250 --> 00:40:23.351
They were like afraid it wasn't like usable.

00:40:23.351 --> 00:40:24.693
So I actually have one in my bag, that's.

00:40:24.693 --> 00:40:30.320
So I had to trade I think it was at St Pete Yacht Club Like someone's written $100.

00:40:30.320 --> 00:40:31.081
It's red.

00:40:31.081 --> 00:40:32.663
I know I still use a red marker.

00:40:32.663 --> 00:40:33.985
Well, because red is easy.

00:40:33.985 --> 00:40:35.349
It's easy to see, right.

00:40:35.371 --> 00:40:46.215
So when you're on skates, and I didn't get rid of it on purpose, like one of the kids was running to get some stuff and I'm like, oh, I'm like, did that have the?

00:40:46.215 --> 00:40:49.380
I was keeping that in, but anyway, that was fun yeah.

00:40:51.070 --> 00:40:53.719
I forget where we were going with that I don't know.

00:40:53.809 --> 00:40:54.871
It kind of went rabbit trail.

00:40:54.871 --> 00:41:05.860
I know, but I mean, in some senses, you've created a path for your life and you have goals on where you want to go, and so that's a lot of what a coach will help someone do.

00:41:05.860 --> 00:41:14.947
Yeah, you know, and I mean, there's some people in life who don't know what they want to be when they grow up and they've been doing whatever they're doing for 20 years or 30 years.

00:41:18.378 --> 00:41:19.260
And so it's who you surround yourself with.

00:41:19.260 --> 00:41:27.998
It's what the other people are telling you, whether they're affirming or reinforcing the beliefs or limited beliefs or whatever BS you have going on in your head.

00:41:27.998 --> 00:41:34.476
You are some of the top five people that you surround yourself with yep, yep.

00:41:35.713 --> 00:41:37.920
So I have a kind of a closing story.

00:41:37.920 --> 00:41:58.418
So I have a daughter and when we moved to Wisconsin we were looking at some houses and they had an open house thing and Fred Astaire Dance Studio was giving away coupons for a free lesson and she had been in dance and theater all her life.

00:41:58.418 --> 00:42:00.235
She's a fabulous dancer.

00:42:00.235 --> 00:42:15.289
And so she went and pretty soon, you know, and being in dance is like ballroom dancing is expensive and they're on her to go pro and for the last four or five years, like cal, you should be a pro dancer.

00:42:15.289 --> 00:42:19.181
And she came to the realization I love this.

00:42:19.181 --> 00:42:36.697
I don't want to do it professionally because then it won't become fun, you know, and I'm like that's so powerful and to realize that a young age yeah, yeah, so yeah, anyways, you know that's a piece she.

00:42:36.818 --> 00:42:41.253
You know she figured that out about herself and I mean, you know his parents are.

00:42:41.253 --> 00:42:46.630
We were in, we were encouraging her to do that, not trying to push, but that's like you have an employee.

00:42:46.630 --> 00:42:50.061
You see potential for them that they don't see in themselves.

00:42:50.061 --> 00:42:54.521
Go back to high school Kinetic energy, potential energy.

00:42:54.521 --> 00:42:57.081
Potential energy is just a rock sitting there.

00:42:57.081 --> 00:43:03.061
A piece of uranium isn't doing anything if it's just sitting there molded into something else.

00:43:03.061 --> 00:43:11.688
And so many people don't know what they want in life, so they just do what they think they have to do or what somebody else thinks they have to do.

00:43:11.688 --> 00:43:27.152
So you know, midlife crisis are manifestations of being unhappy with who you are, and some people go and reinvent themselves and some people buy.

00:43:27.152 --> 00:43:32.896
If they're old white men, they buy a Corvette, or you know.

00:43:32.896 --> 00:43:35.559
Oh my gosh, you know.

00:43:35.559 --> 00:43:39.456
So, yeah, do you know that they now have quarter-life crisis?

00:43:39.536 --> 00:43:46.099
I think I had one, yeah, so, anyways, thanks for coming on, bud Sure.

00:43:46.099 --> 00:43:49.297
Hope you all enjoyed that episode.

00:43:49.297 --> 00:43:52.998
I know I did, kevin, thank you so much for coming on.

00:43:52.998 --> 00:43:56.014
Means the world If you're enjoying the content.

00:43:56.014 --> 00:43:59.637
A like, share, subscribe Costs nothing and does so much for the channel.

00:43:59.637 --> 00:44:00.539
That's this episode.

00:44:00.539 --> 00:44:01.494
Until next time.

00:44:01.494 --> 00:44:02.780
I'm your host, danny Corby.